In A Puddle

When you step on a puddle,
do you think about falling through?
When you glimse at the fallen water
do you think anything new?

To me,a puddle is a vault to heaven
Step on it and your falling
Don't worry though
Those clouds reflecting on the
water earlier are soon beneath you
and if you really concentrate hard,
you'll see your wings form in the aqua mirror,
the angel you giving a wink

To you,it could be a world of blue water
fall in the puddle
and suddenly
your meeting eye to eye with the ocean
thousands of fish swimming around you
and you breath in the water through your lungs,
watching an impatient mommy turtle wait for her child

What do you think a puddle is?
Just a puddle or something more?

Author's Note

Please review...:]

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Only a child can see great pleasure in a water puddle. I wish I had the vision to make water puddles more fun and dangerous. I like the questions at the end of this poem. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[ivizarx]

You take a simple occurrence and/or object and turn it into a complex theme/meaning... very skillfully and with such artistic personality. I say job well done, I liked it alot. You definitely have a talent for writing.
If any constructive criticism I can give is attempt to go into depth with your metaphors a bit more. Don't make them too far complex to understand, but add more description and possibly vague the metaphor a bit more.
(Ex:) "a world of blue water" for "a universe of swirling serene blue aquatics"
Not a preferred edit, cuz I find your perfect worded simplicity fits well within this poem. Just a lil food for thought in future poems.
You are a talented writer, and this is awesome work. love to see more from ya ;)

[alexlessah]

This is pretty unique! I love it!

[Krystal Nicole]

Beautifully written. Wonderful job!

[Gilbert Saint]

i like it, you talk transitively of something very normal, that is a puddle of water, but that's also my problem, poetry is about talking of the normal in an abnormal but very interesting and catchy way, you make the pool of water sound like food(that is sooo normal) other than that, good

[Daniel88Batson]

Ohhhhhh I want to find a puddle now!
Great idea