DARK CLOUD

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is fiercely written to convey the menacing mood of having a person around who serves as the "dark cloud" in your life. I've often looked at this from the viewpoint of "the tormented" . . . but it's imaginative to tell your tale with the tormentor as the narrator. Your rhyme & rhythm work well. I'm not crazy about this page layout, since the text is quite small & not easy to read. Also, it's not easy to make corrections, such as "your" in the last line (s/b "you're") . . .

[angeleapaugh]

Thank You!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"DARK CLOUD'
angelapaugh,
This is a deep and troubled narrative. We are capable of great joy and great depression. Complex yet simple, heavy with desires yet wanting pure and understandable lives. this poem sheds a little light on the inner struggles of our needs and wants as we struggle to come to terms with what is necessary and what is not.
Blessings,
Kathy

[Einstein Noodle]

definitely dark and menacing ;-O
pic is perfect in combination with "Dark Cloud" .. in your Line 10 the use of the word "crouch" doesn't seem to flow with the theme ..unless you meant to give some power to the prey ... "cringe" or "cower" or something along those lines seem a more proper fit .. i love your opening line ..it hooked me in its simply stated straight forwardness .. i think your poem captures the ferociousness of the predator very well ... pretty scary :)
E.
ps i am kinda reminded of one of my younger daughter's tats ..of a rain storm under an umbrella held by a rain drenched young lady ..head down .. ;)

[Michael S]

Nice poem! Dark clouds with a dark and powerful theme in it

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Seems more like a stalker.. Pretty horrific picture you have painted! I like the imagination that springs up in one's mind..

[Lovecraft]

Sounds like Domestic Abuse? Maybe. Still, I love the dark imagery and dark theme, as I love things dark. ;)

Very good job!

[angeleapaugh]

No abuse. I just been practicing dark poems. Thanks for your review.

[Lovecraft]

I didn't think it was about you, just in general.

[angeleapaugh]

Yeah. I read it back to myself and I thought it sounded like the individual was there own dark cloud at the end?

[angeleapaugh]

their sorry

[Lovecraft]

Stop trying to confuse me!!! LOL!

[Dave]

I feel for your prey. I'm glad that I'm not him or her.
You're very expressive in your angst toward this individual. Despite its anger, I enjoyed it.

[angeleapaugh]

I just wrote it. Then i sat back and said where did that come from? I surprise myself sometimes.

[Dave]

Sayyyyy! Whatever works. Sometimes our inspiration is hidden away and pops out when we least expect it.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed this poem. Some dangerous and tormented woman want everything and nothing. Perfect ending to a amazing poem.
Coyote

[angeleapaugh]

Thanks for your review.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. I have enjoyed your work.