The girl I used to be...

I'm weeping, crying deep inside,

The girl I used to be has already died.

No more feelings, no more lies,

My heart is numb,

Only left are painful cries,

Your sorry never meant a thing,

You didn't really mean

The song you used to sing,

Smile of my lips has faded, happiness has gone far away,

It's always night and never day,

You held my hands

And then left my side.

Well, The Girl I used to be...

Has already died....

Author's Note

Hope you like it... I wrote it months and months ago and it may sound a bit stupid... Suggestions and criticism welcome...

Reviews

[DanSharpeLcfc]

I like it. Its tells a story and puts a picture into the readers head. Maybe could have made it a bit longer.. But its got a good balence.

[Dev]

Not stupid at all... I liked it actually.. Very well written

[Lightfalls]

WOW I really like this one. It's great!! I can really relate to it.

[lauren emily]

This is fantastic...Everything flows really nicely and it's just a really..strong piece.
Very nice work :)

~Lauren

[Glenna.]

I use this word FAR too much, but I have to say that this was INTENSE.
Intensity is good. :D
The emotion is great and comes out really well.
(Nice rhyming too. :) )

[Brandon]

Very nicely done. Strong piece indeed.

[Poeticpiers]

a nice piece of poetic prose It certaily dos not sound stupid .

[Q'ANIL]

"The girl I used to be has already died."

Powerful...and just that line can strike the heart...truly loved this one...

~CJM

[Alicia™]

I love it... It has this feel of wanting the guy to regret what he did to her.

But the 6th line is 'your' not 'you're'.

Good job!!