Silence

Stacie was walking home from a late shift and got lost. She ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Click.
Click.
Click.
...she listens.
only to hear complete and utter silence.
click....
'is this a joke?'
she wonders. The night is like a cloak covering her surroundings.
The dim street lights flicker making her have to squint as her heart starts to hammer in her chest. She feels her palms start to sweat.
Click.
Click.
Click...
'this seriously cannot be happening to me' she thought as she tries to
control her rapid heart beat. She tries to squint into the darkness as one of the lights behind her gives into the need to be change and goes out. She covers her red lips with her hand as she stifles a gasp when another "click" sounds only closer to her now.
she can't tell if its shoes or a tool of some sort clicking on the ground... Oh... There was that one rapist who is at large who uses a crow bar to beat his victims...
New dread makes her freeze in place. She pulls out her phone and dials her brothers phone number.
...click...
"hello? Stacie?" Stacie's eyes are wide in fear as the clicking noise is alot closer now. Almost right behind her. And she whispers a greeting. Fearful of being heard. She starts to walk again, longing to get out of the desolate alley way she somehow ended up in.
"Stacie where are you?" her older brother asked, concerned. Stacie was now breathing heavily from the anxiety. Stacie could feel her adrenaline coursing through her veins and she wanted to scream. She looks up and sees the light to her best friends house...
Step.
the loud stomp of the boot makes her heart drop as her phone slips from her shaking hands. The ebony haired girl doesn't stop to see the man with the crowbar behind her she scrambled for her phone and ran, the last thing she was aware of was the tiny light before her world went black.

Author's Note

Ugh I can't fix the last few lines of this story... I can only hope this is okay... Help me please?

Reviews

[viola]

Yikes! This is scary. I'm not sure if it is a poem, or a poetic short, short story. I've got a very vivid image in my head thought, and it's made me turn on the light in my room!
To think about.
1. Decide if you want "click" capitalized or not. You alternate.
2. Line 16, I think you mean "changed" not "change"
3 "There was that one rapist who is at large who used a crow bar to beat his victims... " your in past and present tense at the same time. Either will work, but you have to pick one!
4. In general, decide if this is happening now, or already happened. Usually, you're in the present tense, but every so often you switch to the past. I think you want present. The "click, click, click" is present, and it makes it creepier.
Yikes! I'm keeping my light on!

[annalysiar]

Yess good catch I just fixed this and in shall continue... This one is a scary one and I'm sorry I was rushing thank you for enjoying it...if you did...i think...let me edit the past tense parts though.

[annalysiar]

Lol I'm sorry again viola but I fixed it and I hope its better... I'm sorry its so scary...

[viola]

Much better. Don't be sorry. You wrote it well. Sometimes writing is supposed to freak people out!

[annalysiar]

Thank you and thank you for the tips lol it had a lot more mistakes earlier lol so thanks for helping me

[Novel Minded_75]

I found this effort to be somewhat predictable after awhile, yet it is true to life, and thus, terrifying.
The score does not reflect talent, it just wasn't for me. Just being honest.
Continue to grow your talent because it is evident

[Nerdlige]

Pretty good man I was impressed

[annalysiar]

Thanks love the smiley😆