Whisper

A story about rumors and fear

There was a whisper in the deep of the night....
Long ago from once upon a time-
When mystic beings are said to have reigned. A certain power was theirs alone to claim.
The whisper of heart to heart
The mating of souls never meant to part.
There was a whisper in the deep of the night
Two young lovers- torn asunder to wrong a right
The riddle be not in the innocent crime
But in the story from once upon a time....
There was a whisper in the deep of the night
The darkened plot to wrong a right
For a power of love deserves a fight
And two young lovers have not true might...
It was a whisper in the deep of the night
A rumor or bitter hearts softened to strife
That cost two young lovers an innocent life....

Reviews

[barleygirl]

The best part of your poem is how you leave it open-ended & you've built up the suspense so we are left wondering what happened? Because of your strong details & building a pervasive mood-feeling, we are curious & we ponder the possibilities, even after finishing your poem. I don't usually like much repetition, but you do it wisely & creatively, changing things up a little, while also echoing a haunting refrain (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[annalysiar]

That means so much to me I’m glad you enjoyed my poem
Thank you for your kind words

[BlackPrince]

'There was a whisper in the deep of the night!'

This is a powerful line that really sums up what hypocrites do in the dark.

Love and truth walk openly, transparent as glass!

Well done!!

[annalysiar]

Than you for your kind words

[Phill Oz O'fee]

A kinda Romeo and Juliet feel to this piece - and a relationship that ended in tragedy for the couple - just because they were in love - nice write ... :-)

[annalysiar]

Thank you so much.... i really appreciate your words....

[Bare trees]

This gets a bit confusing toward the end. I'm wondering if this is a certain type of poem being you repeat the first line?

[annalysiar]

Yes and no. This poem is about the truth, bitterness and reality of love. It's a short sad story about how young love can be ruined...