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Balance

Balance

A Poem by Carly

There's not enough hope for the size of this tragedy

And I know we are all just hanging on by gravity

We can’t fix what we don’t even understand

Will you just stay with me and hold my hand?


Life is just a string of happiness held on by sadness

Always ready to be cut into madness

I’m just walking on eggshells at this point now

I’d make the string a bridge if only I knew how


Sometimes I try to make sense of it all

But I’d much rather just put up all these walls

And maybe then nothing will ever crash down

I know I’d rather tread water than drown


Where is the faith I’ve so desperately lost?

Can you bless me a miracle at no cost?

Maybe then I could stop all the impending heartache

And maybe then the string will no longer break


I’ll be here holding it all together

I’ll give away my own happiness to make it lighter

I’ll put the anchor in this nightmare

You can come up for some air I swear


Sometimes I try to make sense of it all

But I’d much rather just put up all these walls

And maybe then nothing will ever crash down

I know I’d rather tread water than drown


This string is just so thin and unsteady

But I’ll be here forever ready







© 2016 Carly



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Reviews

This is solemn and profound and the emotion really resonates. The only aspect on which it's a bit off is the musicality......I might be guessing wrong with the notion that this is actually a poem when it could more be a song, so the musicality might still be there if the music breathes life into it. But reading it on the page, because we don't hear that tune (if this actually IS a song), the musicality has trouble really breathing life into this poem because of where the beats now fall. If this actually is a song, then I leave you to do you since the music would carry the words through, but if such is intended to be a poem, despite the awesome imagery, and the occasional juicy line, the musicality gets wonky with too wordy lines or not wordy enough. Great start, though. This indeed has a good vibe to it.

Posted 3 Months Ago


The line "sometimes I try to make sense of it all but I'd rather put up all these walls" is straight out of my life. The world around me is frustrating and I just close out a lot. This flowed really well. Nice write.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Carly

1 Year Ago

Glad you found it relatable, thanks for commenting :)
Love, relationships, life together with another is always a delicate balance, a sensitive theme — with no guarantees.
Gosh, Carly!
Rhyming Couplets is among my favorite forms, and you've certainly composed an exemplary rendering in sheer emotion, longing, almost a plea of sorts, and surely with a depth of thought and feeling few are capable of so honestly and openly expressing with the vibrant skill you have.

A most brilliant effort, Carly … most grateful hugs to you for the heartfelt moments shared! ⁓ Richard

Posted 1 Year Ago


Carly

1 Year Ago

Thank you Richard for your kind review, much appreciated!! :)
Richard

1 Year Ago

Ya betcha!

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Added on October 4, 2016
Last Updated on October 4, 2016

Author

Carly
Carly

toronto, ontario, Canada



About
I don't think it matters if you are moving towards some great all knowing destination in life as long as you know exactly what you want. I am who I am, I don't tend to fit into any crowd and I don't w.. more..

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