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Falling Snow

Falling Snow

A Poem by Carly

The snow is falling quickly and with passion

It’s so beautiful yet my face remains ashen

I remember a time not so long ago I was beaming

Nothing was wrong and no I wasn’t dreaming

 

A storm brewed so abruptly I hardly had time to blink

Just like that the world as I knew it began to sink

The curve in my smile started to fall

The snow outside started to squall

Nothing felt beautiful anymore

Anger I had never felt brewed to the core

 

I had never felt something so unfair

That nothing could fix it not even a prayer

I stayed positive and put on my best smile

Even though every step I took felt like a mile

Every time the phone rang my stomach dropped

My heart raced so fast it could have stopped

 

I was merely walking through the days

You were fighting so hard you could have set a fire ablaze

Time was going by but I was losing you more and more

Dangling by a thread was hope galore

 

It was a crisp morning the day you left me

The air felt so fresh I almost felt free

It didn’t quite set in right away

I guess I just wanted you to stay

 

They say it will get easier as time passes by

Except I know this won’t be the first good bye

It won’t be the first time a storm brews

It won’t be the last time I lose

 

I’m starting to see the beauty once more

It’s starting to feel less like a chore

As the snow falls again tomorrow

I’ll continue to grow

Because this life is much too brief

To wallow forever in our grief

 

 


© 2018 Carly



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Featured Review

I quite enjoyed this. You paint a solemn world of lost love amidst the falling snow with strong and vivid imagery. Many lines are juicy like melting chocolate on the tongue. If you don't mind my saying, however, this could use some musicality tweaking, for with certain lines, the flow is a bit wonky, which in a way happens when poets try to experiment with flow and metre in the same poem (it's kind of risky to do that; there are only so many suitable moments to do so). And for me, the medium length lines sounded the absolute best and packed the hardest punch. All in all,this is wonderful! tweak the musicality where necessary, and this would be a gem! Well done!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Carly

6 Months Ago

Thanks for reading and commenting! I really like what you said about how grief is only damaging if y.. read more



Reviews

I always seem to remember the weather when something traumatic happens. I think it's why I enjoy the winter so much despite hating the cold and holidays in general. Nothing horribly bad ever happens to me during winter otherwise.

I think grief is only damaging if you give it the same weight as happiness. My life is full of grief but I'm still pretty f****n' happy none the less. There was something about perspective I was going to mention but I have drugs to do so I'm actually just going to leave this here.

I like your poem by the way.


Posted 6 Months Ago


I quite enjoyed this. You paint a solemn world of lost love amidst the falling snow with strong and vivid imagery. Many lines are juicy like melting chocolate on the tongue. If you don't mind my saying, however, this could use some musicality tweaking, for with certain lines, the flow is a bit wonky, which in a way happens when poets try to experiment with flow and metre in the same poem (it's kind of risky to do that; there are only so many suitable moments to do so). And for me, the medium length lines sounded the absolute best and packed the hardest punch. All in all,this is wonderful! tweak the musicality where necessary, and this would be a gem! Well done!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Carly

6 Months Ago

Thanks for reading and commenting! I really like what you said about how grief is only damaging if y.. read more

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Added on February 7, 2018
Last Updated on February 7, 2018

Author

Carly
Carly

toronto, ontario, Canada



About
I don't think it matters if you are moving towards some great all knowing destination in life as long as you know exactly what you want. I am who I am, I don't tend to fit into any crowd and I don't w.. more..

Writing
I am lies. I am lies.

A Poem by Carly



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