Mother on a Mission

Mother on a Mission

A Poem by Annette Jay Sweeney
"

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"

Buzzing about in your search for warm blood,

a persistent need for your unborn eggs.

You land on a host, bite, and then it floods

with the nourishment your body begs.

Gorging yourself, you expand and are red.

delicious copper flows through your being.

Soon, by accident, your venom is spread,

causing an itching you will be fleeing.

 

Too soon a shadow passes over you,

your instincts tell you to fly! but too late,

you are swatted so hard you squirt such goo

that you hear the person swear and say "Great!"

Life leaks from your limbs as all hope is lost,

survival of your offspring is the cost.


© 2010 Annette Jay Sweeney



Author's Note

Annette Jay Sweeney
I had to write a sonnet that romanticized something that isn't normally romantic. I decided that writing about mosquitoes would be fun, but how to make them romantic? I remembered that the only mosquitoes that actually bite you do so to obtain the protein they need for their eggs. I thought this would add a romantic quality to the poem.
What do you think of the rhymes? I typically don't rhyme because I'm not a fan of form poetry (funny that this is what I have put up so far). I think I can normally right them okay, but being chained like that sucks.

My Review

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Featured Review

I would have had a difficult time with this assignment. You pulled it off very effectively. I read the poem before looking at your author's note and thought to myself, "This is a mosquito...why a mosquito?" It grabbed my attention and had me chuckling. The interesting thing is that, by the end of the piece, I was amused at how the activities of a tiny blood sucking bug suddenly seemed much more grand and noble. Then, when I saw the note, I laughed again because I realized that you had done exactly what you set out to do. You romanticized the most irritating insect, its annoying bite, and its sudden death. Well done! I'd have given you an "A."
The rhymes you used are solid.
Check lines four and seven. I think you wrote "you" where you meant to say "your"

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Thanks guys! You were right Matt, I will have have to change that.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Oh, the imagery!

Posted 7 Years Ago


I would have had a difficult time with this assignment. You pulled it off very effectively. I read the poem before looking at your author's note and thought to myself, "This is a mosquito...why a mosquito?" It grabbed my attention and had me chuckling. The interesting thing is that, by the end of the piece, I was amused at how the activities of a tiny blood sucking bug suddenly seemed much more grand and noble. Then, when I saw the note, I laughed again because I realized that you had done exactly what you set out to do. You romanticized the most irritating insect, its annoying bite, and its sudden death. Well done! I'd have given you an "A."
The rhymes you used are solid.
Check lines four and seven. I think you wrote "you" where you meant to say "your"

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Thanks! I don't think you have to let them bite you... because I still despise being bitten by them. It's just something I try to see from another view. Haha. Bricks would be a good one!

Posted 7 Years Ago


This is a great sonnet, and I caught onto it being mosquitos immediately. Should I let them bite me for now on? :) Nice sonnet, and I've gotten that same assignment before. I chose bricks lol.

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 24, 2010
Last Updated on May 18, 2010
Tags: mosquito, mothers, sonnet

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Annette Jay Sweeney
Annette Jay Sweeney

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About
Reading and writing have always provided a loving escape for me, but both are now taking on a more serious level. I thrive on reading others' work and helping them to improve, while also depicting my .. more..

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