i am alive Dead!

This poem is based on the real event occured with myself today...

i saw a cow crowling on the road;
i was just wandering, where is the GOD?
Moaning so high and pain in her eyes;
She can't breath properly and vibrating so high.
She is too old and find herself alone;
But she couldn't able to speak anyone.
Humans passing through at every second;
Some take a look and some don't even see;

we take a look and stop our bike turn around a little and look for the cow;
i couldn't forget the pain i see; and still i am wandering what happened with that cow; that was moaning high on the road.

We tried to wake-up and help her to stand on her feet;
Succeed for a moment but not for a long, she laid again down on the road.

i put my hand on her body, thinking i wish i could heel.

i was trying to transfer her pain;
was thinking only, if i could get gain.

my office forces me to leave that cow:
i had to take the decision that i have to move now.

we got try to contact the doctor; and rush to the nearby place where we can find the doctor.

we leave soon once informed the doctor the cow & the situation;
But inside my mind i still feel that just not be my real action.

After two hours i try to approach the doctor;
They respond me that yet waiting for the doctor.

Deep inside my mind i yet feel guilty.

i hate myself not because i am weak;
i hate myself because i can't use my strength.

i hate myself not because i was late;
i hate myself because i was not able to take.

i hate myself not because i made her sad;
i hate myself because i am alive dead....
i hate myself because i am alive dead....
i hate myself because i am alive dead....