The name

A desperate hunt comes to an end

'Oh no, not him. That can’t be the name, it can't be.'

He started blankly at the paper. He read it again. The name called to him. It taunted him.

He had spent years hunting for the name. He had to know. He had pleaded and begged his mother to tell him the name but all she revealed were the briefest of details, nothing more. On her death-bed, she had given him a place, a time, a vague description.

It had been difficult to follow the clues, tracing his mother's history. Who had she known? Where had she lived? He had spoken to hundreds of people. Followed clues, backtracked from myriad dead ends but always he persisted, driven by his need to know the name. He had read people's intimate writing, their diaries and memoirs hoping to discover the name, somewhere. It had always been just one more clue away. Tantalisingly close yet unreachable.

The man who lay dying at his feet had been his last hope, driven mad by the frustration of not knowing, he had tortured him until he had revealed all.

Now he stood over him reading the only diary that contained the name.

Staring down at the man, he realised what a monster he had become. His desire had consumed him.

As he closed the book, he heard the man’s final, dying breath. He looked down and spoke directly to him.

‘I’m sorry, father,’ was all he could say.

Author's Note

What works well? How could it be improved?

Reviews

[Jonah Parker Ryan]

Oh wow, that was quite a disturbing ending. I think it works very well the way it is. I don't really know if there's too much more you could do to improve it in its current state, I guess that would depend on what you want to do with it. Are you looking to flesh it out a little more, maybe make it a short story of book? Are you just trying to keep it short and too the point, because in terms of something flash-fictiony I'd say that you nailed it. Well done.

[Anthony Gerrard]

I suppose, after looking up the definition of 'flash-fiction', that is what it is. It was just meant to be a very short story and I do like twists!

[MeratheRestless]

No need for improvement that jumps out at me. The ending was very disturbing. I wondered why the protagonist was so all consumed to the point of willing to murder.

[Liani]

Well, disturbing definitely, but also powerful. I really liked your language and the narration is of such a mysterious nature that even though it's never said out loud, that he is looking for his father, you have the suspicion from the start and then the end is your confirmation. I really enjoyed it, good job.

[Anthony Gerrard]

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I certainly enjoyed writing it.

[ehleesahT]

This is very interesting. A very good prologue to a mystery if you asked me. I'd love to read more and have to know what in the world is going on! Great job!