Why I can't write about you

I was thinking about my friends and why I haven't ever written about them when I've always wanted too.

There are all the words in the world
But none are enough for you.
All my memories are too strong
I have but this weak paper.

Perhaps it is not this white paper
Which renders my hand this weak.
But rather my heart that is frail
So full of ravenous greed.

Those memories are ours alone
No other can know our smiles.
Those times are my light in the dark.
I can't give myself away.

Those days long gone are forever
But in ink they are mortal.
Open to blows from cruel critics
My precious' value lost.

Oh that would be death.

Author's Note

So this is why I generally don't write non-fiction. I think every human has this fear (or I'd like to think that haha) I tried to write it with first line 8 syllables and the next one with 7 all the way through. please let me know if you find an error with that, if my words get confusing or if there are any grammar issues. I hope you like it!

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

I like how you explore the limits of language, how it can't always capture exactly what we want/need it to - and that fear of failure sometimes makes us shy away from attempting to. There's nothing wrong with fiction anyway, stick to it.
Nice syllabic structure in each stanza, good write.

[Imara]

Thank you, I'm glad my meaning got across to you. I find syllables easier to work with than rhyme haha. Thanks again for the read and review. I'm glad that you liked it :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

well done... hiding something from the harshness of people to preserve it's value, very well said here. i can relate to this on many levels.

[Imara]

Thank you! I'm glad that you liked it. Thank you for the read!

[Luke L]

Awesome stuff I really like the way you write. All too often poetry feels too casual for me. I feel like you put your whole self into this. I love that!

[Imara]

Thank you so much for your compliment! It means a lot to me. I'm glad that you liked it, I wrote it in the spur of the moment and edited a bit but isn't that how all poetry goes? Thank you again!

[Luke L]

no problem keep it up I will have to check out more of your work :)

[Deuces]

Well in essence, you've written about yourself in the poem. You reveal the insecurity that can exist when transferring your life into the written word, which leaves vulnerabilities naked and available for critique. Very honest and written very well. Grammar is fine. Loved it.

[Imara]

Haha I guess you're right, I never realized that honestly. Thank you so much for the review!

[Marie]

I find no errors in your poem. It flows very well, and there are no grammer issues.

I don't write about myself either, not out of fear, but simply because I can't. My mind and my fingers freeze when it comes to putting down anything personal.

[Imara]

Thank you!

Yea, sometimes the words just aren't there. It's hard to get it just right

[Zahra]

When you really love some people or aspects of your life so dearly it is natural to be sensitive and respectful about those things and memories. One wouldn't want to take a risk letting these things fall a pray to judgements. Very nice. Thanks for sharing.

[Imara]

Thank you so much! I'm glad my point got across :)

[Zahra]

you're welcome! :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like this...there is a philosophy...it was in Finding Forrester...William Forrester, Sean Connery's character said...the best time in writing is when we write something, and we read it the first time...before anyone else gets the chance to read it and tear it down.

we've created something...poets do that...and harsh critics need to be shot.

[Imara]

Yea it's always nice when you think you've created something great. I personally like harsh critics how am I supposed to get better without them? When I used that line I was more referring to them saying that I wasn't writing about anything important, that my story had no worth. Maybe that wasn't clear. However it is poetry and it has a million different meanings! :) Thank you for the lovely review!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, there is constructive criticism which is helpful...but there is also destructive...which is harmful...and discouraging...that is the kind i am against. i have seen too many new poets lose the will to write.

[Imara]

Ah yea, those who are just kind of being jerk about it. It's just mean and those are the kind I'm talking about. Those who say a story is pointless etc. If you don't have something helpful to say why is your mouth open? haha

[redflutterby]

Beautiful poem. Not wanting to write your truth is understandable. It makes us uncomfortable to lay our lives open as a book for all to read. Your writing in this was fantastic... always enjoy your words.

[Imara]

Thank you so much for the review and your kind words! It's not only that fear of being open but lack of words. How do you even begin? Haha I'm starting to get that I am the only one with that problem.

[redflutterby]

Practice makes perfect.... once you get the first few out it flows from there. ;-)

[Imara]

Haha thanks for the advice! Eventually I'll get the hang of it! :)

[redflutterby]

You're doing great hun.... I see talent here!! ;-)

[Imara]

Awe thank you so much!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I quite liked this one...the last line was a wonderful tying up of the entire piece. I often write about myself and about others, but I don't do it in such a way as to let them know. I mean, I guess I write "shades" of the truth that are based upon reality. I always find it funny when I write something dark and people get "worried" about me. Anyway, i liked this one!

[Imara]

First thank you so much for the review and the compliments! Truly appreciated! Next I applaud you for being able to write in "Shades" I can only write in fiction and base personalities off of those I know really. Take true talent to find those words. I guess to the whole "worried" thing, people always do that the second anyone does something dark. I don't know why, maybe human nature? haah anyways thanks again!

[Frieda P]

Some things we keep close to our hearts and to share them would seem as they're less than...this came from a deep place, yet can see right through the emotions in this one, guarded and protective. Nice one, most enjoyed!

[Imara]

Thank you so much!

[Frieda P]

My pleasure, always love a peek at the pink underbelly. ;-)

[Imara]

Haha isn't writing a peek at that pink underbelly? Bam! getting Philosophical in here haha

[Frieda P]

Nah, not for everyone, some writes are really superficial imho....

[Imara]

Haha that's a good point...I hope those don't get too much attention.

[Frieda P]

Meh, to each their own... ;-)