My Sons Keeper

My son how I love him.

Little Tate and I

 

 

I am my life's sole keeper

in the garden of my dreams

Within it dwell the great hopes

along with all my schemes

 

Why for me only the hard way

has taught my mind since youth

Does it seem could be no other

than a fact and cold hard truth

 

I chose the road that I tread

from my bold disdaining action

I would never listen to another

except to my own satisfaction

 

Lucky that he knows me not

for my sadness hides regret

As they who think to know me

know less the nearer they get

 

My son how I do love him

touching most his dreams within

But all I want for his heart

is to not go where I've been

 

Tate

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Reviews

[The Old Ashes]

O.K.
so I try not to completely shower the writer with praise
when I write a review
but oh my god..
I'm such a crybaby lol I'm welling up.
That picture for starters
just looking at it
while reading this
but the way you ended it..
oh my goodness.
I'm a sucker for this kind of stuff. My favorite song is With Arms Wide Open by Creed...
the power of a parents love for a child.
Wowzers.
in short
I loved it
:) You're an amazing writer
They say that in order to write well,
you must write about what you know.
What you're familiar with.
This is a spectacular piece coming from an emotion you know well.
Pity this thing won't let me rate over 100.
You'd have a 110/100

[Haz]

'Lucky that he knows me not'

He'll know you soon enough, and he'll love the bits you cannot, as you will with him.

It's well written, I can relate to the feelings in the last line, sad but well expressed.

[Therene]

*eyes pop out* It reminded me of one conversation I had with a friend. I asked him, "If one day your children visits you from the future, what would you tell them?" His answer was quite simple. "I was not always a father." :))

Well, I still couldn't relate to it...but if someday I'd be blessed with a son, or a child for all it matters, I would also wish all the best for him and for him to radiate goodness to others. :) The poem conveys the message effectively. To be a parent, to give love, not to deprive, and not to corrupt the mind of the young; all encapsulated in magnificent poem. For technicals, I have not much to say. Your flow is good, grammar is effective, and rhyme is good.

Over all, great write! :D

[Havatara]

I loved it, and I thought that it was kind of cool how you didn't use any punctuation. You don't see many poems that can pull that off. Very well done.

[Manda]

wow this was really good. I love how you talked about you and then told us that you didnt want your sons life to be like yours. very well done!

[alyssa]

This peom, many can relate to... its words have a perfect flow and evry word decribing great emotion.This is a well written and soo true peom.
Thank you for sharing this lovely peom,
alyssa x3

[Coyote Poetry]

Yes we wish better life for our children. I keep my door wide open for their safe return from mistakes made in their short lives. Your last line is my belief also. I learn the hard way only. Not always the best. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Crimson Wolf]

Yes, I agree with one of the other reviewers, you can tell you love your son. This poem proves it. I think
its a brilliant write.

[Charles]

To the point and poignant. Good effort, strong message, clear and crisp language. All in all a good poem.

[Frantzou]

great piece, and it shows how much you do love your sons, great job expressing that :)

[Orlando Furioso]

This one I read with intense attention as I have two sons of my own. I often wonder what sort of a dad I am. I don't think I am an especially strong role model or a bad one. There is so much to learn as we grow up as parents. We, mostly, have not done it before. Perhaps we have strong role models in our own parents. I don't think I did. What is right? What is wrong? How sure are we in the things we seek to impose on or offer to our offsprings? How well do we actually know them even? Do we just stand by, there in case of difficulties, not interfering too much if all seems to be going well? Do we seek to inculcate our own principles? What if we have no strong principles to inculcate? All very tricky. I sometime find it almost distressing watching my sons grow, as their increasing strength and capacity are correlated to the failing of mine. This of course is how it has to be. Balance, balance, balance. I must say it's great to see someone writing on this important subject. You clearly put a lot of thought into it. 'I would never listen to another' seems a key line. You may not be happy with how you were, but you certainly seem to have worked things out in a wise way now. I sense that you bring the lessons to bear in the way you are with your son. Maybe one day you will explain how you were to him, if it is right to do so. Maybe he will read your writings. That might be quite a lesson for him. My father cld never have written the things you do, that's for sure. For a son to discover that his father is capable of such depth of thought petaining to his upbringing wld I think be a very, very positive thing to discover. Respect.