Innocent Girl

This one just kinda came to me. Thank classical music,

Innocent girl
With stars as eyes
Tries to dive.
She misses the mark
And the innocent girls
Hopes go up in flames.
As time flies by
She tries and she tries,
She wonders why
And begins to cry.
Over the years,
Her innocence dies
And her hopes return.
The stars in her eyes
Burn brighter for sure.
She dives again
And meets her mark,
Making her eyes glow
With a happier spark.

Author's Note

This one is a bit odd. Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Gandré]

I am very sorry. I found this RQ now.. But I am here and review it. thanks goodness this wonderful poem found an happy end. I feel sort of sad when there is no happy end. It had a smooth rhyme scheme..On the beginning there is this interior turmoil between subjects and impact on the girl after this as contrasting perceived course the unloading, peaceful exterior world on the end. I liked it.

[alison13]

it's not that odd at all..well, at least for me.. i like it. the rhythm is good. nice job.. :)

[BeetleBug]

I have a weird taste, and I thought the rythem was like, boom boom boom, awsome! A second chance, a second life, you know! YEAH!

[Maria]

It is awsome i love it!

[emily]

Very nice! it flows well, and I think a lot of us girls can relate :-)

[Bexfinch]

I like it . The way it flows and tells a story good job

[Goddisia]

It is beautiful. brief and to the point. Not a word wasted. I love the hope that you end the poem with. Little lost girls need hope more than anything else in the world. I haven't read rhyming poem in a long time and you just restored my interest in the rhythm and rhyme. Keep writing about her...

[Iota]

Dear Luna, you may like to rhyme but this poem is rhyming just fine. Maybe it is something you are good at, because like the poem says you are hitting your mark each and every time. I think the poem is very good :)

[deeps]

I like this I think it's wonderful.

[Hopelessly Confused]

That was very interesting but I understood it. Great job.