Misconception

You stay apart, in wrong direction
You strive again, for great perfection
You know there is a price to pay
In order you on top to stay

A day have come for you to pass
And fell the bitter empty glass
Now you feel how it felt
When you strangled me with a belt

With a belt of cold feelings
which could wash all of your meanings
There is not time for regret
soon enough another chance you would get

Reviews

[Emily]

This is an interesting piece. there are a handful of sentences which just don't make fluid sense, but when it came to "When you strangled me with a belt" it made me think that the sentences which were dis-jointed and awkward were because they were simply the strangled thoughts of the victim.

Well done.

[Raivenne]

I have a question, in the second stanza: did you mean "fell" as in the knock down -- or did your mean "fill"? Either definition could work this interesting poem you have here.

It's a good write, but it is not a Swap Quatrain form. Please feel free to stop by the Poetry in-FORM-ation Challenge and review the rules for the Swap Quatrain form and try again. Thanks for entering.

[Daydreamer54]

i like how it rhymes! It also makes me wonder about the meaning...

[Angel Veselinov]

This one is for a contest