(Un)certainty

The days to come are scary

The frightening moment is now,

The days to come are fiery

I've to swallow the bit somehow.

Reviews

[keith]

you know your pen well … kudos

[JayG]

First. You say the says to come are scary. That, in and of itself, says they are not at the moment. But then, you abandon that and say that now is when they are, Makes no sense because while you know what you mean, your intent doesn't make it to the page, so the reader has only what the words suggest to them, based on their experience, not your intent.

Next, look at prosody. L2 has three feet and L4, which should both rhyme and match in flow, has four, which makes it feel a but "lumpy."

Look at the excerpt to Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled. It's a really good intro to the basics of prosody.

Hang in there.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right Ayesha. New days can be hard and we must be harder. Thank you for sharing your amazing words and thoughts.
Coyote