Under the Weather

When you lose someone who is supposed to be there for you.

It has been a while

But I’m no longer a child

Spending so much time blocking you out

You’ve filled me with doubt

But the truth of it all

I don’t just rise, I tend to fall

 

Cause I’ve been watching and waiting

And pondering, pacing

 

It’s like I’m losing my mind

The truth is so unkind

When I think of you I find

My stomach can’t help but bind

When I get my gears going

The tears start flowing

My emotions are showing

This frustration is growing

 

Maybe it’s just for the better

But my whole life has been under the weather

Where to run

While searching for the sun

Where to hide

When nobody’s by your side

 

And you’re the one

When it’s all said and done

That’s supposed to be here for me

Near for me

Care for me

Fear for me

 

Where ever you want to place the blame

But have you no shame?

This is no one’s fault but yours

You keep closing these open doors

 

But I’ve been watching and waiting

And pondering, pacing

 

You gave up on your only job

Now you can choose to sit there and sob

Or you can attempt to fix this mess you’ve made

Instead of continuing to let our relationship fade

 

But maybe you’ve hurt me enough

Your mistakes have forced me to be really tough

So will I let you past my wall?

Because after all

You continue to stumble and fall

And you’re playing with my heart like I’m a Barbie doll

 

So am I really your sunshine?

Or am I just a poison ivy vine?

Infecting your life

Causing you strife

 

Maybe next time you should think twice

Instead of just rolling the dice

Because you’re not the only one who suffers

In my life you have cause a buffer

And I KNOW I am not the only person who feels this way

The truth is we all wanted you to stay

 

You couldn’t handle that

And that is the real fact

You couldn’t cope with people loving you

You had no idea what to do

It was a feeling you never had

And that makes me sad

But what is even worse

Is what you put on yourself, like a curse

 

You continue to resort to a bad place

Leaving us all without a trace

Is it because you can’t handle your past?

I’d hate to tell you but that’s gone by really fast

You’ve turned your past into your future

Causing nothing but torture

 

Not just physically

But mentally

And I wish

You would quit being so damn selfish

 

I’ve been watching and waiting

And pondering, pacing

 

I love you

But I don’t have a clue what to do

You don’t even know me

And that’s the truth, sadly

 

It hurts that you’re not even trying

Let alone continuously lying

I can’t even believe a word you say

Do you think I want it to be this way?

Do you think I want to be without you?

Because really you have no clue

What goes through my mind

And what you would find

 

I can promise it wouldn’t feel great

Its facts that you would probably hate

But you’re not the only one in pain

So bring on the rain,

The storms

I can’t take this anymore

 

I’ve wasted my time watching and waiting

And pondering, pacing