Last Words

Last Words

 

 

The Frosty Wind is embracing me

Making me cold and numb.

The Darkness is chasing me

Enshrouding my eyes to the demise

 

My heart’s throbbing is getting fainter

My will is getting weaker.

Now I’m realizing

Slowly and painfully

That my soul is leaving

Slowly and excruciatingly.

 

So before I say farewell

I want you to hear my last words.

Please, listen them carefully

What I’m saying so regretfully.

 

I know I broke your heart

Wounded them with so much scars

 

I know I left you

And the pain I put you through.

 

But I’m sorry

 I never meant to….

meant to hurt you so  deeply

So I beg you…

beg you to please forgive me.

 

Don’t cry

Don’t detest me

Please..forgive me

 

Before my soul

bows before the Death’s hall

I want to see your bright smile

Overshadowing the sun’s light.

 

Before my breath fades away

I want you to adhere on just one way

A way where fragrance of goodness splay

That’s where you must stay…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Laura Maidah]

The caps is fine for elements. WHy is frosty distinguished with caps? It's an adjective, and a common one at that. "to adhere on " is a strange locution, syntax-wise. Theme is abstruse and aural motif was an enigma for me to pronounce mentally. It's not very lucid. Is is eulogistic?

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

yes it is!although he doesn't exist....that's so sad:(

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

well.i wrote in the review :"The Theme"

[Laura Maidah]

Whoops. I was on a pseudo-browser. It showed in tiny blurs.

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

well..i've personified Frosty Wind and The Darkness as the Hell Girl...accoding to japanese mythology...

[Dhaye]

Great! You just expressed how to be one of the characters in the anime...

[Rhianne Ney]

Yeah, i know about Itachi's death since my dear friend was whining about it and she even showed me the video of his actual death. Well, as an insight, we all realize the important thing in life once it's gone, right? The times when we can never really bring everything back again to it's usual way (;

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

oh yeah indeed that was the most emotional moment in all...well i'm kinda used to it becauase almost all my favourite anime characters die at the end...but thanks a TONNE for buying time for my work and review them..it means a lot!!

[Rhianne Ney]

You requested me to do so and it never hurts to read anything (:

[Sami Khalil]

Before my soul

bows before the Death’s hall

I want to see your bright smile

Overshadowing the sun’s light.
Something magical and out of this word I eeland see in your writes that takes the reader above and beyond to new wrlds away from our mere existence... Wow...:)

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

wow ..thanks for this lovely compliment...i am glad you liked it:)

[Sami Khalil]

I did . And I picked my favorite lines...:)

[Pax]

my friend loves to watch naruto... this is quite a lovely and touching dedication to the character... you've done well on conveying the feelings....
its a poignant peice...
great job!!

[Muhammad Qasim]

Oh well wow .. I know that scene in Naruto amd you did seriously describe it in an awesome way here ... Overshadowing the suns light .. great line and it just goes to show that forgiving is one of the best elements out there and keeping hatred for someone makes you a hater so just forgive and live .. thats just how the life should be

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

thanks for your wonderful review.and it's great that you got the message behind it besides that it's a fan-fiction stuff.and yes.that as the most emotional scene in all:(

[Muhammad Qasim]

Hehe .. i know .. i had to specially since i watched all the epusodes but nowasays i have been lacking .. and its emotional!!

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

aawwwwwww.no problem lad...the series can wait for you.why don't yuo rad the manga.??

[Muhammad Qasim]

i have .. but nowaday i have been low on that aswelll .. ill pick up in a while

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

good.then keeo me updating what's happening in it:).
DEAL??

[Muhammad Qasim]

you should read them byyourself .. its more fun that way1

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

yeah.you're right!!!

[Muhammad Qasim]

I know .. i am always right

[Blare Dark-Fire]

touching

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

thanks my friend!!:)

[Rose]

awww ): that is so awesome and sweet but yet so sad. it made me want to cry as i got nearer the end :'(

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

thanks for your kind reviews my friend.i'm glad that you liked it that much!!!!!!

[Rose]

No problem :)

[Bhavya Kaushik]

It has a lyrical element to it, which I liked the most about it. Very heart wrenching. Keep it up!

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

thanks a tonne!!!....

[RachelReaper]

Very cool poem, I like Naruto (I'm currently watching the series on animefreaktv) and I'm only on episode 5 so far, but I can see where I could relate this to something that would happen in Naruto. P.S. If Kakashi dies... I'm going to quit watching...

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

hahah.no don't worry.he is not going to die...i mean he will..but then he'll be resurrected immediately.and thank you so much for reviewing my poem..i am glad you like it

[RachelReaper]

*sigh of relief*

[Craig Froman]

How the wind and darkness become personified in your poetry... moving in comfort and pain... somehow present in the sorrow of final thoughts.. What an agony in this unfolding canvas...

[ATIBA SHEIKH]

thank you so much for your kind reviews