Last walk in the rain

Last walk in the rain

A Poem by St.Jimmy
"

here's a the poem on rain with a pain of separation

"
I still remember that heavy rain
In which I got wet for the last time
When we last walked together in pain
I can't forget that last walk with you in rain
 The rain water was gradually getting saline
By our tears falling from the agony in vain


It was  our last walk together
You were holding my hand 
We were silent in that dark painful weather
I was hoping for the sun to come and 
Stop the rain to remove the darkness in the weather
But the rays of hopeful sun couldn't touch the wet muddy sand



We both were getting wet along with our eyes
In those cold and dreadful droplets of rain
The rain was so heavy that it hide our cry
And suddenly we arrived the station and 
I could see that separating train
You left the station  saying me the last goodbye
And I was left alone getting wet in that dry rain
I was realizing it with a deep sigh
That I ended up my last walk in the rain!!

© 2010 St.Jimmy


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I'd say the poem does need work around the edges, with the grammar and the overall flow. It is also a little redundant with the same phrase used a few times or more without much variation

That said, this is a heartwrenching piece. It makes me wonder why it was the last walk in the rain, and what it was that separated them. Any poem who leaves me wondering about more to the story is considered a good poem in my eyes because you've gotten me hooked and made me think. The emotions are really there and with a little work the flow could be just as well done.

Wonderful start!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I'd say the poem does need work around the edges, with the grammar and the overall flow. It is also a little redundant with the same phrase used a few times or more without much variation

That said, this is a heartwrenching piece. It makes me wonder why it was the last walk in the rain, and what it was that separated them. Any poem who leaves me wondering about more to the story is considered a good poem in my eyes because you've gotten me hooked and made me think. The emotions are really there and with a little work the flow could be just as well done.

Wonderful start!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

beautiful poem... very heartfelt :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


wow. This is very heart wrenching. I can feel every emotion of loss in here. I think it could be smoother but even now it does not take away from the emotion. Touching write.

Posted 13 Years Ago


touching write... N great feelings bt i feel d rhymin cud hav been better... there's too much "rain" at the nd of almost each line... mayb u cud try othr words 2 mak it more impresssive... but i liked d story behind it... :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is a very well written write here.
I like this. Flows wonderful as well.
Like the rhyme scheme.

Posted 13 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

235 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 11, 2010
Last Updated on April 12, 2010

Author

St.Jimmy
St.Jimmy

In my house :P, India



About
more..

Writing
The window The window

A Story by St.Jimmy


Chapter 1 Chapter 1

A Chapter by St.Jimmy