The Thief Of Lives

This was written when I had just experienced my best friends death.

My eyes open
Someone is gone.
Was she ever there?

Times passes by
Life becomes the same
Do I remember her?

My world starts flipping
Sounds Began to dull.
What is happening to me?

Everything stops
My mind clears.
Will I see it?

I finally rise
Something is gone.
Who is screaming?

"She is gone"
I run away.
Did it happen again?

Another one gone
The culprit escaped.
Did anyone see?

A thief of lives
Took what was mine.
Why did it happen?

Two lives taken
No time to hide.
What's on the floor?

Dark red stains
Liquid life everywhere.
What's this?

The victim was cold
life was gone.
Why did she die?

Am I next?
I don't mind
The time has left me.

Reviews

[Lee]

I really like the flow of thoughts and progression of emotions as you describe what's happening from one moment to the next. It begins as if you're in a forgetful state- like amnesia is fogging or keeping life blurry. Then suddenly everything's clear. And then suddenly everything's solemn.

The small brief sentences and choppy cut up like flow throughout really give the feeling that everything's happening fast and out of anyone's control. Except of course, the control is solely in the cold hands of our thief- the man who steals people away.

Good write.

[empty]

very nice.

[~a.wall~]

This was actually about a real life event in which I personified death as a thief of lives. Message me if you are interested in what happened.

[empty]

what happen..

[~a.wall~]

car accident. saw my best friend die when i promised her id always be there to protect her.

[Lee]

oh Sorry Im just now getting these. Let me message you..

[~a.wall~]

ok and its all good

[Azriel]

wow, what a powerful piece, nothing is worse than losing someone close to you. i remember when i lost my good friend, i wished everything would stop and hated how life continued as usual. but time heals all wounds. loved the flow and the narrative style of the poem, a lot of very strong/ "heavy" words, that say a lot are used.

and these lines speak volumes

"Am I next?
I don't mind
The time has left me."

[~a.wall~]

Thank you for your review! It means alot to me to hear people like my poetry

[Azriel]

no problem, really enjoy your work.

[~a.wall~]

Im glad others enjoy to read my work. It was starting to worry me