Attack of the Muses

Do you receive assistance from the Muses at the most desirable times?

Get away from me, and leave me alone!
I’m trapped here in the gallows.
Give me some peace, let me enjoy this drink,
And the relaxation that follows.

Whenever I lay my head down to rest,
Or try to abuse some substance,
You come in my head and sing to me
In a voice of angelic elegance.

“Come to me, my child of art,
Let me give you some inspiration.”
But sometimes things are black and white,
I don’t need your differentiation.

Come when I call, not at your whim,
Be my assistant, not my master.
Follow my lead, show a glimmer of light,
And we’ll get this writing done faster.

I’ve had enough you little Muse, you’re bothering my drink,
I’m not asking for Cupid’s arrow.
All I ask is for some calm and quiet,
While I avoid the straight and narrow.

Goodbye little Muse, I’m not carrying a pen,
I’ve got a pistol for this occasion.
If you don’t leave now, I’ll use it, I swear!
Hey, you!  Please come back!  I didn’t mean it!  I just need one more line and I don’t know how to end this without you.  Hey, barkeep!  I need another bottle.  Now!

Author's Note

If you're not laughing by the end, then I missed the mark.

Reviews

[Legion]

LOL I've said it before and I'll say it again. My muse(s) is trying to kill me. They aren't as friendly as you all might think. Thanks for pointing some of their maliciousness out for the poetic public to see. I think we should start an organization to help stomp out unwanted musings. We could call it Musinix or something like that. Or is that a cold rememdy. Oh well, you get the idea. Great write.

[Sofie and the City]

I really loved this poem! made me smile and remember the times when I want to write about my musings in the middle of business meeting! a very serious one! haha and there it goes... shooting me like I have to write that moment! and then- when I am not doing something and have more time to write, I will get writers block!

cheers! to muses... (ironically its my username ha ha!)

[Pink Poison]

Funny, but I think every true writer can relate to the complusive need to get your thoughts down. It was be VERY annoying to have lines appear when you are stuck somewhere without a pen or paper! The idea of shooting your muse is amusing but I think I'll buy a gun...just in case! Nice work.

[Angelic Darkness]

This is so humorous:). I'm sure most of us have had this problem with
our muses, and don't forget, they show up at unexpected times LOL!!

AD

[R J Askew]

Yes, I liked the way the poem turned dark. I hate muses as they are fickle and don't give a damn, so I was with you all the way about sending them packing. They don't deserve the attention we give them.

[Emily B]

laughing and crying I guess. there's nothing worse than a fickle muse. :-)

[Dani California]

hahaha!! Ah yes, that bothersome muse. Always wants us to write something at the most inopportune time! Annoying little ************ ! lol Chasing it off is not a good idea however, as you see here. Bye bye means we're left to our own basic creative ideas. And for me, that's not a good thing. :(

I enjoyed this IMMENSELY! :) Well written, very creative and funny!

[An Ordinary Woman]

Ahhhh, to have my muse disturb me once again! I remember the days and the frustration when I couldn't do anything without interruption. Once I even said curse words to my muse but I think it was taken personally and my muse left me and hasn't been back since.

A very lovely poem, I much admire your smooth ability to set rhyme in such a metered and lyrical manner.
Very nice writing ... I enjoyed!

Tamara xx

[T]

HA, funny as I sit here writing at 4 something in the a.m. because of ideas running through my head...My muse tends to call on me too when I am driving to work (about an hour)...I should just get a tape recorder instead of trying to write and driving with one knee...

[Laura E. Aranda]

Yes, I am laughing at the end. I love your style of satire and humor. I am so dry that humor is something hard for me to write. Anyway! Cheers to you, lea