It's That Time Again!

It's That Time Again!

A Poem by barleygirl
"

(ugly Christmas sweaters)

"


My shrewd dude throws his threads with some attitude
ya never know what deluded mood he’s going to exude
all the while his sense of style has scads of latitude
highly-hued or slightly subdued, at least he don’t go nude.

Nowadays the holidays beckon treasured old mores
the hub of our interplay is where we bake and graze
I will don my crazed berets, each one to heaping praise
but I’m outdone by the one who crochets for him for days.

Can you believe? November eve and his momma knocks again
with utter aplomb, she drops the bomb: his latest cardigan
ya never know, might be blinking snow upon a wooded glen
or scantily-clad lively lads, or three-dimensional wise men.

Stifling a sneer, I see a deer protruding from the front
sculpted sheepskin below his chin, this Rudolph is no runt
momma’s latest ugly sweater is an animalistic affront
he deflects this trauma, oh his momma ne’er will he confront.

Long after momma’s gone, he’ll don this garb so corny
hold my man on the divan I’m gored by antlers so thorny
he can grab his mouser and guide his browser to a website that is porny
with Rudolph between his and my jeans, there’ll be no gettin’ horny!




© 2017 barleygirl



Author's Note

barleygirl
Pure fiction for fun *smile* . . . don't know the guy in the picture.

My Review

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Featured Review

Your ability to write with a " monorhyme " ( my own feeble attempt at creative language) has become a feature of your poems. You knit them together to produce such bizarre concepts as this virtual virtue protector. Rudolph and Santa would be proud of you.
I'm more blasé - I simply found these poetic purls just plain funny.
(((Hugs)))


Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

"Virtual Virtue Protector" . . . that's poem-worthy, my friend! There must be more yarn in that nogg.. read more



Reviews

What a scene you conjure up; brilliant and witty poem, that I really, really enjoyed.

How about a set of novelty Christmas reindeer antlers to go with the sweater, that'll really complete the ensemble. :))

Beccy.

Posted 1 Week Ago


So funny Margie! Amazing feat of merriment from beginning to end of this jolly poem. Great form, flow, cadence, rhyme and imagery that cracked me right up! Those awful sweaters! I’m used to them in NYC but their here in Florida too- Whaaat?! The last two lines are killer! Yup, the dude will have to get his recreation on-line if he’s wearing his momma’s ugly deer sweater! Too much!!

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Your review is a total delight! I'll be smiling & laughing for the rest of the day! *smile* Thanks f.. read more
Your ability to write with a " monorhyme " ( my own feeble attempt at creative language) has become a feature of your poems. You knit them together to produce such bizarre concepts as this virtual virtue protector. Rudolph and Santa would be proud of you.
I'm more blasé - I simply found these poetic purls just plain funny.
(((Hugs)))


Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

"Virtual Virtue Protector" . . . that's poem-worthy, my friend! There must be more yarn in that nogg.. read more
Hilarious! Who knew ugly sweaters could be so fun! What a strange tradition it is to wear ugly sweaters. I wonder how that ever got started. My father's side of the family has an ugly sweater contest every year, and I always go out of my way to find the ugliest article of clothing I can. I love your creation of the word "porny"! It works with the rhyme but also sounds legitament.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I've never had one myself, but at my last job, people wore them pretty regularly. Next target: those.. read more

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Added on November 10, 2017
Last Updated on November 10, 2017

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



About
Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

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