It's That Time Again!

It's That Time Again!

A Poem by barleygirl
"

(ugly Christmas sweaters)

"


My shrewd dude throws his threads with some attitude
ya never know what deluded mood he’s going to exude
all the while his sense of style has scads of latitude
highly-hued or slightly subdued, at least he don’t go nude.

Nowadays the holidays beckon treasured old mores
the hub of our interplay is where we bake and graze
I will don my crazed berets, each one to heaping praise
but I’m outdone by the one who crochets for him for days.

Can you believe? November eve and his momma knocks again
with utter aplomb, she drops the bomb: his latest cardigan
ya never know, might be blinking snow upon a wooded glen
or scantily-clad lively lads, or three-dimensional wise men.

Stifling a sneer, I see a deer protruding from the front
sculpted sheepskin below his chin, this Rudolph is no runt
momma’s latest ugly sweater is an animalistic affront
he deflects this trauma, oh his momma ne’er will he confront.

Long after momma’s gone, he’ll don this garb so corny
hold my man on the divan I’m gored by antlers so thorny
he can grab his mouser and guide his browser to a website that is porny
with Rudolph between his and my jeans, there’ll be no gettin’ horny!




© 2017 barleygirl



Author's Note

barleygirl
Pure fiction for fun *smile* . . . don't know the guy in the picture.

My Review

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Featured Review

Pure fun makes me laugh a heart felt Christmas day at last Mom drops over to say hi then quickly say good bye Must of been a good dream never to come true This man had his Rudolph Sweater and ugly sight to see Give to my a new present a back massage and he will be happy the rest of Christmas day

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

11 Months Ago

I could go for swapping back rubs! *wink! wink!* I really had fun with this one & thanks for joining.. read more



Reviews

Pure fun makes me laugh a heart felt Christmas day at last Mom drops over to say hi then quickly say good bye Must of been a good dream never to come true This man had his Rudolph Sweater and ugly sight to see Give to my a new present a back massage and he will be happy the rest of Christmas day

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

11 Months Ago

I could go for swapping back rubs! *wink! wink!* I really had fun with this one & thanks for joining.. read more
This was so fun to read, Margie. You rhyme without being contrived, you feel the whimsy although the words are sometimes biting. How you do this must be magic! Thanks for sharing and giving me a chuckle this afternoon.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Year Ago

Thank you for your enthusiastic response. This is one of my favorites. Usually I'm too impatient to .. read more
Don't know what it is here. But you can't get those ugly sweaters for love or money. I don't know if it's pay homage time to the mother in law or what.
Sending you one over.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Paul Bell

1 Year Ago

Sending you a tree and tinsel too. Don't see why you should have all the fun of not decorating.
barleygirl

1 Year Ago

It's not the decorating that bugs me . . . it's just one more force of life that's working against m.. read more
Paul Bell

1 Year Ago

It's not all about you, you know,
It's all about me knowing you're having a bad time. lol
I enjoy the fun you have with your writing. Sounds like momma doesn't want to let go of her "little boy." You exhibit a good humor about it.

Take care - Dave

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Year Ago

You may not realize this, but I'm actually a b***h. I'm bipolar, so I'm prone to bad moods . . . & I.. read more
Dave

1 Year Ago

I'm sorry about your condition. On the other hand I find it difficult, having experienced your writ.. read more
I love this line:
"...his sense of style has scads of latitude."
Opportunities for improvement in style, that sounds like me.


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Year Ago

These days, I do not understand the various adornments considered "style" . . . as I plod along in m.. read more
What a scene you conjure up; brilliant and witty poem, that I really, really enjoyed.

How about a set of novelty Christmas reindeer antlers to go with the sweater, that'll really complete the ensemble. :))

Beccy.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Year Ago

I have tried to answer you a few times over the weeks, but I see that my computer is being weird & m.. read more
So funny Margie! Amazing feat of merriment from beginning to end of this jolly poem. Great form, flow, cadence, rhyme and imagery that cracked me right up! Those awful sweaters! I’m used to them in NYC but their here in Florida too- Whaaat?! The last two lines are killer! Yup, the dude will have to get his recreation on-line if he’s wearing his momma’s ugly deer sweater! Too much!!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Year Ago

Your review is a total delight! I'll be smiling & laughing for the rest of the day! *smile* Thanks f.. read more
Your ability to write with a " monorhyme " ( my own feeble attempt at creative language) has become a feature of your poems. You knit them together to produce such bizarre concepts as this virtual virtue protector. Rudolph and Santa would be proud of you.
I'm more blasé - I simply found these poetic purls just plain funny.
(((Hugs)))


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Year Ago

"Virtual Virtue Protector" . . . that's poem-worthy, my friend! There must be more yarn in that nogg.. read more
Hilarious! Who knew ugly sweaters could be so fun! What a strange tradition it is to wear ugly sweaters. I wonder how that ever got started. My father's side of the family has an ugly sweater contest every year, and I always go out of my way to find the ugliest article of clothing I can. I love your creation of the word "porny"! It works with the rhyme but also sounds legitament.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Year Ago

I've never had one myself, but at my last job, people wore them pretty regularly. Next target: those.. read more

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Added on November 10, 2017
Last Updated on November 10, 2017

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



About
Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

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