Gone Cougar

Gone Cougar

A Poem by barleygirl
"

true dating gyrations . . .

"


The oldster dating outlook is oh so boring
the elderly (my age) are mottled and hoary
nothing to enliven and a lack of exploring
just gap-tooth smiles and extinct inventory
to avoid narcolepsy and random snoring
naps and early-bird dinners are mandatory
for slobber that last grizzly kept imploring
prodding me to turn my show predatory.

Lately I’ve been known to hone my claws
gotta ditch recent prospects so pathetic
this ole cougar is way beyond menopause
but my inner kitty is still mighty energetic
I’m nothing like prim and proper grandmas
I need a young’un, sassy and unapologetic
with moves catapulting to the tropopause
all-night romping that’s mutually copasetic.

As God often will, He heard my glib prayer
lo and behold, a youthful suitor so lighthearted
as I was fantasizing our spanking new affair
our forever future was already fully charted
in mere days we’re soulmates, he doth declare
his assumptions weren’t for the lighthearted
it wouldn’t have mattered if I was even there
so from my cougar fantasy I quickly departed.




© 2017 barleygirl



Author's Note

barleygirl
I dated an old guy a couple times & he pressured me to slobber-face every time he saw me . . . so I kiddingly told friends I'm "Going Cougar" (older woman going for younger men). Lo & behold, this good looking guy (in the picture) hits me up on Facebook & away we go! He's already fallen in love with me & planned out our lives in two days! *sheesh!* Now I remember why I preferred dogs for the past 20 years. . . heh! heh! heh!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Haaaaaa! Watch those young fb whippersnappers Margie! Love the poem- droll and filled with feline whimsy and vivaciousness. Great form, wordage, flow, cadence and rhyme....Aaah the lovers’ Golden Mean- so elusive! I guess more experimentation will be required!:):):)

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself as I released my inner kitty for a little word romping! *wink! wink!* .. read more



Reviews

Haaaaaa! Watch those young fb whippersnappers Margie! Love the poem- droll and filled with feline whimsy and vivaciousness. Great form, wordage, flow, cadence and rhyme....Aaah the lovers’ Golden Mean- so elusive! I guess more experimentation will be required!:):):)

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself as I released my inner kitty for a little word romping! *wink! wink!* .. read more
You go, Margie! So this guy started writing you on FB? I would tell you to be careful, but I know you are nobody's fool! Love this line, "my inner kitty is still mighty energetic" wooohooo! :) I enjoyed this one! Lydi**

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

You were in the back of my mind as I wrote this. The thought of your wild kitty ways always inspires.. read more
Lydia

1 Week Ago

I am a bad influence! 😎
You have created a new perspective for we old guys Margie. We now know that we have a new hurdle to leap,( sorry...stagger over) It's the new phenomenon known as the e-cougar.. OMG, it's a jungle out there.
Loved the heartbreaking sentiments of your poem, though. (((Hugs)))

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Thank you for being so gentle and accepting my plowing under of the old guys! I actually feel much o.. read more
The fantasy of cougar. That's a blast,
and shows us ancient fools a thing or two.
For those who cannot start, much less to last
a loving dog is best. Now that is true.


Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Yeah, don't dogs beat all? I need a freakin' break from all this action becuz this old heart is not .. read more
This made me smile, and I'm an old guy. Great structure. I loved it.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I see no gray in your beard (profile pic) so I don't accept that you're an "old guy" . . . from my v.. read more
Robert Ray

1 Week Ago

Pic filters, and black/white options, are great for old guys. :)
Out with the old, in with the new.
Out with the new, back in with the guy with the pulse. Christsakes, how hard is it to get a jump start out there. Okay, I'm now a retired cougar, but with cat like qualities.


Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Since I'm geographically challenged (living in the boondocks with no transportation) I really have n.. read more
Paul Bell

1 Week Ago

Consultation bill on the way. Don't leave the country.
I admit it. This gave me a laugh, and I promise I will never write anything even closely related.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I didn't want to be too hard on the old guys, since I find many of them to be some of my very lovabl.. read more
Jon Roggie

1 Week Ago

I may have broken my promise....
It's crazy how many pounds of sausage you can pick up as a cougar. I agree with your author's note; dogs are better. Both young horny men and dogs are quick to jump to conclusions, but dogs are simpler, happier, friendlier, and they don't cheat.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

The older I get, the more I appreciate my dogs! I need a two month hiatus just to rest up from this .. read more
Very entertaining. Also, planning out the whole life in two days is no small feat. I have trouble planning an afternoon snack. The term cougar always seemed a bit too predatory to me. It's not like you date guys to steal their Itunes library and then move along as if they never mattered. I wish you good fortune in your romantic endeavors.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I looked up "cougar" to get some ideas . . . I was aghast at how predatory & sleazy they describe th.. read more

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

286 Views
11 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 30, 2017
Last Updated on November 30, 2017

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



About
Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Plagiarism Plagiarism

A Poem by Silente