Gone Cougar

Gone Cougar

A Poem by barleygirl
"

true dating gyrations . . .

"


The oldster dating outlook is oh so boring
the elderly (my age) are mottled and hoary
nothing to enliven and a lack of exploring
just gap-tooth smiles and extinct inventory
to avoid narcolepsy and random snoring
naps and early-bird dinners are mandatory
for slobber that last grizzly kept imploring
prodding me to turn my show predatory.

Lately I’ve been known to hone my claws
gotta ditch recent prospects so pathetic
this ole cougar is way beyond menopause
but my inner kitty is still mighty energetic
I’m nothing like prim and proper grandmas
I need a young’un, sassy and unapologetic
with moves catapulting to the tropopause
all-night romping that’s mutually copasetic.

As God often will, He heard my glib prayer
lo and behold, a youthful suitor so lighthearted
as I was fantasizing our spanking new affair
our forever future was already fully charted
in mere days we’re soulmates, he doth declare
his assumptions weren’t for the lighthearted
it wouldn’t have mattered if I was even there
so from my cougar fantasy I quickly departed.




© 2017 barleygirl



Author's Note

barleygirl
I dated an old guy a couple times & he pressured me to slobber-face every time he saw me . . . so I kiddingly told friends I'm "Going Cougar" (older woman going for younger men). Lo & behold, this good looking guy (in the picture) hits me up on Facebook & away we go! He's already fallen in love with me & planned out our lives in two days! *sheesh!* Now I remember why I preferred dogs for the past 20 years. . . heh! heh! heh!

My Review

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Featured Review

I'm in my mid-forties and can't relate, but you seriously crack me up. I enjoyed the author's note just as much as the poem. This reads as a rhyming challenge. Like the three eight line stanzas, it looks professional. Kinda fond of the wit also. CD

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Oh yeah! This was back before I lost my sense of humor *wink! wink!* I'm trying to get it back again.. read more



Reviews

To quote "sapphire the uppity blues women"
"Well i'll forget about my arthritis, my backache, my lumbago
that young man makes me tango at the horizontal disco
i'm cleaning out my closet, i'm no longer sentimental
forget about experience, i'd rather have potential
a young man to drive away my middle age blues"
Your poem is even better!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

I'm not familiar with what sounds like lyrics & thanks for sharing becuz I always love to hear what .. read more
I'm in my mid-forties and can't relate, but you seriously crack me up. I enjoyed the author's note just as much as the poem. This reads as a rhyming challenge. Like the three eight line stanzas, it looks professional. Kinda fond of the wit also. CD

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Oh yeah! This was back before I lost my sense of humor *wink! wink!* I'm trying to get it back again.. read more
My X wife tries to date some times I think she is going the a rough time with her pickers remorse These guys only want one things hit and be gone must be a song I"m over the hump and stick to just a nite out with bowling and not thrills I don't take viagra for I afraid what it may do to me I want to die of Old age not of a sexual desese Its a wonder I can walk without falling to my knees.A Cougar is a wild woman on the prow I watch out the those kind I have't had that much fun in a while.They will keep me smiling and my interest pealed oh boy am I ready for this Gal.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Months Ago

I looked up the cougar idea before writing this & I was appalled at what a negative slant some artic.. read more
Dogs are safer. Will stay if you feed them and you are kind. Old and young. Mix like gin and whiskey. They don't. I enjoyed this tale dear friend. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Months Ago

I love your comparisons, so full of humor & truth! I always get right back to the pets, after trying.. read more
Coyote Poetry

1 Month Ago

Pets are kinder. I enjoyed this tale.
Haaaaaa! Watch those young fb whippersnappers Margie! Love the poem- droll and filled with feline whimsy and vivaciousness. Great form, wordage, flow, cadence and rhyme....Aaah the lovers’ Golden Mean- so elusive! I guess more experimentation will be required!:):):)

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Months Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself as I released my inner kitty for a little word romping! *wink! wink!* .. read more
You go, Margie! So this guy started writing you on FB? I would tell you to be careful, but I know you are nobody's fool! Love this line, "my inner kitty is still mighty energetic" wooohooo! :) I enjoyed this one! Lydi**

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Months Ago

You were in the back of my mind as I wrote this. The thought of your wild kitty ways always inspires.. read more
Lydia

2 Months Ago

I am a bad influence! 😎
You have created a new perspective for we old guys Margie. We now know that we have a new hurdle to leap,( sorry...stagger over) It's the new phenomenon known as the e-cougar.. OMG, it's a jungle out there.
Loved the heartbreaking sentiments of your poem, though. (((Hugs)))

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Months Ago

Thank you for being so gentle and accepting my plowing under of the old guys! I actually feel much o.. read more
The fantasy of cougar. That's a blast,
and shows us ancient fools a thing or two.
For those who cannot start, much less to last
a loving dog is best. Now that is true.


Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Months Ago

Yeah, don't dogs beat all? I need a freakin' break from all this action becuz this old heart is not .. read more
This made me smile, and I'm an old guy. Great structure. I loved it.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Months Ago

I see no gray in your beard (profile pic) so I don't accept that you're an "old guy" . . . from my v.. read more
Robert Ray

2 Months Ago

Pic filters, and black/white options, are great for old guys. :)

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Added on November 30, 2017
Last Updated on November 30, 2017

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



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Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

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