Gunpowder Gray

Gunpowder Gray

A Poem by barleygirl
"

the daily grind of depression . . .

"


Morning is smothered by gunpowder gray
choking back impending raindrop tears
teased by an imaginary mist of glimmers
as ebony branches claw away the gloom
with pitiful stabs slowly spreading sparks
and barely-there blushing possibility pops
to highlight a rosy horizon in increments
illuminating a lonely trail for the forgotten
a long winding road of hopeful healing
and blissful forgetfulness that dissipates
the tarnished corrosion of mood crumple
presenting the promise of vibrant times
painted gold, lime, ruby, lilac and cobalt.




© 2018 barleygirl



Author's Note

barleygirl
For those fighting depression: never stop clawing back the gloom!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Depression is such a reality and yet it is still something that many feel they need to hide, a source of shame. For me, as a parent I’m so conscious of instilling resilience into my kids and trying to create a healthy atmosphere for them to grow. I really feel for those who have not had this chance. So many of our adult troubles are forged in childhood.
Your words are both beautiful and sad, with a touch of hope on the horizon.
I really enjoy the depth and variety of your words, thanks for sharing!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Months Ago

I really appreciate you sharing your perspective as a parent trying to teach resilience to your chil.. read more



Reviews

i have not suffered depression ... but i believe all mental and emotional illnesses are normal ... just far more intense .. so i can imagine what it is like .. i love your advice .. i feel the anxiety of being on an edge of hopelessness ... helplessness in your poem .. this line:
"with pitiful stabs slowly spreading sparks" to me is the turning point ... those sparks can be lost or held on to ... making all the difference in the world ... depression can be a devastating illness ... :((((((((((((((( an eternal optimist ..i am glad your closing is vivid with color ;) love ya Barley! strong empathetic voice in your poem...it gives me just enough hintsw of the experience to break my heart ... it just shouldn't be so hard
E.


Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

i think you are a treasure Margie ..hugs :)
barleygirl

2 Months Ago

I'm still grinding on that last collaboration between you & Mattavelli . . . I think I feel a challe.. read more
Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

you are so the best ...:))))))))) you already posted and i read it ..
Depression is such a reality and yet it is still something that many feel they need to hide, a source of shame. For me, as a parent I’m so conscious of instilling resilience into my kids and trying to create a healthy atmosphere for them to grow. I really feel for those who have not had this chance. So many of our adult troubles are forged in childhood.
Your words are both beautiful and sad, with a touch of hope on the horizon.
I really enjoy the depth and variety of your words, thanks for sharing!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Months Ago

I really appreciate you sharing your perspective as a parent trying to teach resilience to your chil.. read more
Brava! You can masterfully write in any style my friend- this superb poem proves it! Starting out in tones of stark, bleak “gunpowder gray” and “ebony”-a noir snapshot of depression, you then eloquently take us to a place of hope and vivid colors- and encouragement. Great structure, flow and cadence-And done without rhyme-beautifully out of your comfort zone! Deeply moving, profound poem...

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Months Ago

Every so often, I try to push myself outside my usual rhyming madness! *smile* Thanks for your enthu.. read more
I do't have depression as it is in width and depth. I feel profound sadness at things I see and hear so much so I lose sleep over those things I have no capacity to change! Your vibrant personality and your knowledge of life is your source of strength to stand on your own. Through your writing you bring us so much joy , I hope that helps you through when you feel Gunpowder Gray. - um beijo



Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Months Ago

In recent weeks, several younger writers have reached out to me, asking for help in dealing with the.. read more
Mrudula Rani

3 Months Ago

Reading your writing is always a pleasure. Uma grande abraço ( a big hug)
What a great depiction of depression.
It's something I've never really suffered from.
Though the long winters here are beginning to do my head in. Bright colours sure help. Running up hills does the trick too. Roll on summer.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Months Ago

Judging from the way your mind grinds out these outlandish tales & convoluted conversations, I would.. read more
Paul Bell

3 Months Ago

You don't drink in the bars I do. lol
What a powerful example of an early gloom and unwonted despair giving way to the brightening day!
Thank goodness for those tiny rays of sunshine that end up illuminating the day, making the trail brighter.

Take care - Dave

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Months Ago

Love your artful response to my gloomy message! As usual, you are reading me right-on! Here's sendin.. read more
I immediately noticed the different style. Both the lack of rhyming and the general tone and word usage. Though even without the rhymes, this poem still seems to have some structure. I like how you use color to show mood and emotion, starting with gray and negative words, and ending with those bring, happy colors. It can certainly seem like there's no way out, but there's always something out there to look for when times get rough. This poem is one of the most poetic I've ever read from you.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Months Ago

WOW! What an awesome review! I'll be smiling all day & your words warm my heart, even on a frosty mo.. read more
Bgirl, for those who fight depression, and I suppose we all have at one time or another, the battle is a lonely one. The stigma can turn people away from seeking a helping hand or lending an ear. Though this is not your usual style (difficult to write outside a comfort zone) you have chosen a run on sentence and it works. Sort of a mini stream of consciousness. Well done. Good write.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Months Ago

I appreciate your observations, especially since this is a bit outside my usual style. Once in awhil.. read more
This is a very clever poem. I have never really suffered from depression, but I can imagine this is what it must be like ... no breaks(full stops), just going on with impending raindrop tears, pitiful stabs, lonely trails, and mood crumble. Beautifully expressed, but I am so glad there is the hope of vibrant times to come, at the end.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Months Ago

I agree with you, Astri . . . I don't like poems that are too dreary with no glimmer of light . . . .. read more
Even though you have left out the rhymes, it feels and appears to be metered without me having to pull off my shoes to keep count. I especially like the lack of punctuation, it kept things fast and flowing from desolation to hope in one coherent train of thought. I know depression is no joke having suffered it myself from time to time, but this was a well thought out poem that a deserves a thumbs up. CD

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

4 Months Ago

Thank you for taking the time to comment on the mechanics as well as the message, especially since t.. read more

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

358 Views
13 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 22, 2018
Last Updated on January 22, 2018

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



About
Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..