Lunar Spoonful

Lunar Spoonful

A Story by barleygirl

wintry whale watching . . .


I’ve been wai----ting so lo-o-o-ong . . .
to be where I’m go-o-o-oing . . .
in the sunshine of your lo-o-o-o-ove!

With nimble fingertips she shreds a classic chord progression upon the neck frets of her Taylor guitar. Celeste’s vocals carry crystal clear across the chaparral as wintry dusk casts long shadows. Pausing for breath, she hears gravel crunching down her lane and looks up from her roost on a smooth granite boulder. A lanky apparition grows closer, unrecognizable at first, but sporting a familiar gait.

Born under a bad sign . . .
been down since I began to crawl . . .
if it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all!

“I recognize that singing voice!” Celeste shrieks in surprise.

“Oh you do, now do you?” His lopsided grin, somewhat camouflaged by a full gray beard, is an irresistible sign from the 1970’s.

“Joaquin! . . . I don’t know what to say . . . I never thought I’d see you again!” Celeste leans her guitar against a stump and slides down from her perch, with folds of flowered calico bunching up around her hips.

“Your thighs are as shapely as I remember . . . and you haven’t aged a bit.” After taking in the sight of her bare legs, Joaquin scoops her into an enthusiastic hug punctuated by gasping disbelief and friendly chirping back-and-forth.

“What’s with all this face fur, anyway?” After smoothing her rumpled calico skirt, Celeste cups his beard softly with both hands and guides it slowly toward her face. “Mmmmmmm . . .”

“Oh sí . . . yo también . . .”

“I’ve missed you . . .”

“And I’ve been dreaming of your creamy lips for decades.” He reminisces aloud when they finally come up for air. “How’s my moonchild been all these years?”

“You know it’s a blue moon tonight, right?” Unwilling to peel herself away from his full body crush, Celeste runs her fingers through his longish gray curls. “It only happens once in a blue moon!”

“Está bien . . . mi corazón. That’s why I’ve finally come to find you now. I’m taking you on a moon cruise!” Joaquin’s immense hands cup her firm buns passionately while grinding her hips into his own.

“How did you get here anyway? Where’s your vehicle?” Celeste peers up toward the main road, spotting a trace of red twinkling through the trees.

“You remember my old ’69 MGB, don’tcha?”

“You bet I do . . . mi dulzura. Don’t tell me your starter solenoid is still busted.”

“Yep! And I’m still parking on a hill so I can pop the clutch to start it!”

“Wouldn’t ya know it? You’re hilarious. Why did I expect anything to change?” Finally Celeste eases Joaquin to an arm’s length so she can gaze into his intense azure eyes. At this vantage point she is aghast to see that his smile is made up of only four yellow rotting teeth, each separated by a gap wide enough to poke a finger through. She stifles an involuntary shudder of distaste and silently vows to avoid any further slobbering with this fool.

“I did re-paint my vintage ride last summer, though . . . with pinstripes that slay, I might add! It’s not a classic paintjob, but I couldn’t resist a modern touch.”

“You vehicular stickler, you! Remember how you went on and on over the hum of the resonator? Such a sweet mellow drone as we cruised down the highway and you pointed it out every time.”

“I’m shootin’ for an evocative vibe job . . . hoping my ride will excite you if I can’t do it with my bangin’ physique!” Joaquin breaks into a gap-toothed smile while holding both her soft hands in his. “Oh how I’ve missed your brown eyes sparkling up at me this way.”

“I miss those blistering hot summers at the lake, watching you carve morning glass on your Maherajah, skiing back-and-forth so artfully across the wake of your parent’s inboard jet boat. Remember how it roared?”

“I was the only one skimming water with my shoulder on every pass!”

“I remember that. You always were such a cocky show-off. I wish I hadn’t tossed my old photos.” A momentary scowl clouds Celeste’s freckled complexion.

“You brought your instamatic camera everywhere we went. But did you really throw out our pictures?” Joaquin’s finger nudges her pouting chin upwards.

“What did you expect? I wanted to kill you when Becky got pregnant.” Celeste taunts a theatrical slap in thin air, stopping short of his face.

“Qué Cabrón! Let’s not talk about Becky, okay?” Joaquin wipes away a single tear sliding down Celeste’s cheek. “That didn’t turn out so hot for me either.”

“Pobrecito . . . I forgive you for being such a shithead.” Celeste’s sly smirk conceals buried feelings still smoldering since the summer before she went away to college.

“Got any plans for the blue moon tonight?”

“Qué piensas?” Celeste scans her wilderness surroundings to indicate a distinct lack of nightlife in the coastal foothills of central California.

“I made reservations at Nepenthe just in case.”

“Cariño! It’s my favorite restaurant, named after a mythical drug that helps one forget all torments. Good thing I’m showered and dressed for an occasion, huh?”

“Mi corazón I would be proud to show you off, even in those faded denim overalls you used to wear half the time.”

“Mi dulzura I haven’t forgotten how you enjoyed slipping your grubby paws down inside my baggy overalls half the time.”

“And I remember how you never wore panties.” Picturing her dismount from atop the boulder just moments ago, “I see you still don’t wear any.”

“You’re still un chico malo. Why would I trust you on a moon cruise?”

“I never suggested you oughta trust me.” Joaquin let his glance glide slowly across her lace-veiled n*****s before reaching out instinctively to fluff her bunched-up calico skirt.

“C’mon . . . let’s take my dogs for a quick stroll down to the creek before I sequester them in the cabin for hours.”

After tending her dogs, they walk up to the main road where he parked earlier. Celeste admires chrome wire-spoke wheels all around, sparkling in the waning sunlight, along with his fresh crimson metal-flake paint job. Joaquin puffs up visibly with pride as he basks in her admiration of his machine. Seeing this, she eggs him on by stooping down to touch a shining spoke with a smile. But clearly he’s distracted by the brief peekaboo of her missing panties.

Celeste hops over the latched door and plonks into the driver’s seat, well-versed in the technicalities of starting his vintage MGB. With that memorable murmur finally humming, she clambers across the console and into the passenger seat. “You haven’t missed a beat mi corazón, as far as maneuvering in tight spots.”

“I see you still pack a warm blanket for any potential wintry night moves.” Celeste reaches into the backseat and then drapes his fuzzy throw across her bare shoulders, bracing for a brisk top-down ride to the coast.

“I’ve been packing heat for years, waiting to see you again.”

“You make it sound like you looked me up to knock me off!” Celeste presses her face into his muscular shoulder, inhaling the scent of his aftershave and loving the cozy fit of his ride. He chortles good-naturedly at her flippant remark. She reaches up to twirl gray curls that flutter lightly against her cheek.

Joaquin climbs in and pulls his car onto the narrow pavement, heading toward the Pacific Coast Highway. As he harnesses his eighty-five horses along the curvy mountain road, her fingers involuntarily skim his thigh, at times grazing his ample package.  The purr of the MGB’s resonator imparts a tantalizing vibration to the bucket seat beneath her.

“I hope it’s still a little bit light when we get to the highway because gray whales are migrating this time of year.”

Celeste closes her eyes in a dreamy reverie for the next few miles, remembering his notorious family jewels while skinny-dipping and the way she loved riding him like a shameless buckaroo. “Does this cassette tape deck still work?”

“Sure does and I’ve got Clapton queued right now. Just push that green button.”

“You still remember my favorite, after all these years.”

Further on up the road, someone’s gonna hurt you like you hurt me
Further on up the road just you wait and see . . .
You gotta reap just what you sow.

“Whoa! Look at that!” After driving a while, Joaquin suddenly swerves into a pull-out and brakes to a dusty stop. After reaching across her to point out a pod of spouting whales, he slowly trickles his fingertips over her thighs, tugging teasingly on the flowered fabric. After whale watching for a bit he pulls onto the highway as a blustery road breeze flutters her clothing tantalizingly. “Whoa! Look at that!”

“You beast! You better behave or this night won’t end well.” Celeste laughs as she yanks her skirt back down to a point where it’s barely covering the goods. Keeping one eye on the road, he glances over from time to time to see if he might catch a glimpse of something moist and delicious.

“How ‘bout we stop and walk down to Pfeiffer Beach? We’ve got a little extra time before our dinner reservation.”

“Sounds scrumptious. We can watch the last rays of the day fade and the blue moon should be cresting soon.” Celeste pulls the blanket around her and Joaquin grabs his original tooled-leather pouch for toting his weed. “I’m warning you, dinner could be expensive if we arrive with the munchies.”

“No problema, mi corazón . . . for you, I will spare no expense.” As they stroll toward the sea, he packs his pipe with a moist fragrant bud, hits it with the lighter and inhales deeply. “Aqui tienes, mi corazón . . .”

Celeste takes a hit and holds it in. “Look! The horizon is glowing . . . Grandmother Moon will soon be making her grand entrance from behind the ridge.”

“Yes indeed. And I can’t wait to see your soft skin shimmer in the moonlight.”

When they reach the beach, Celeste spreads the blanket over a protected spot where the sand has been excavated into a perfect spoon indentation. Joaquin shoves her down playfully and slips in behind her, hugging her buns against his now-bulging shaft, nibbling her neck and murmuring his longing in breathless gasps. She dreamily watches the full buttery orb rise, inch by inch.

After a lunar spoonful, Celeste turns around to shimmy his jeans down and off. She climbs atop his hard rod and arranges gathered calico all around to provide some protection from the wintry night air. Slowly and deliberately, she rocks her hips to crush his pelvic bone against her sweet spot. Joaquin can’t believe how hot and tight and wet she is . . . just like the very first time.

Moonlight creates diverse shadows and flickering flounces upon the sandy blanket. As he stumbles into ecstasy, arching his back and shutting his eyes tightly in a trance, she spots something shiny. The night breeze has flipped a corner of the blanket to reveal where he stashed his marijuana pouch. She reaches over to touch the shiny object and recognizes the cold metal of a pocket pistol.

“Está bien, mi corazón?” After inadvertently slowing her hip-rocking enthusiasm, she gets right back into a grinding groove so he won’t suspect a thing.

“Oh babe, I’m tellin’ ya . . . mi dulzura . . . nobody packs heat like you do.”

Little by little she examines her discovery by touch in the darkness with nimble fingers, all the while maintaining a rip-roaring, thigh-slapping romp atop his fervent shaft. In moments she determines his gun is loaded. Feeling his burgeoning pre-orgasmic shudder she makes a snap decision.


“What the fuuuuu . . .” Joaquin opens his eyes just as the flash blinds him and the impact thrusts his bloody gray curls into the damp sand.

“Lo siento . . . too bad Becky didn’t turn out well for you, mi dulzura.” Celeste collects the gun and pot pouch then burrows through his pockets to find his keys. Standing over him she imagines future moon cruises in a sparkling red ’69 MGB with chrome wire-spoke wheels. After a gloating pause to smooth her flowered calico skirt, she starts walking back toward the highway.

She traverses a sandy patch then turns around to go back and pick up his jeans again. Locating his wallet, she opens it up to a handful of crisp c-notes. Grabbing the moolah, she murmurs to herself as she saunters to the car: This should cover a new starter solenoid.

© 2018 barleygirl

Author's Note

Thanks to car aficionado Samuel Dickens for coaching me on the finer points of his vintage ride *heh! heh! heh!*

My Review

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Featured Review

Wow! I turned a few shades of red at points in this story! Not because I'm a prude, but because your writing put me in the scene of their intimate moments. This was a cool read and am more than pleased I read this one. The twist was unbelievable, and so unexpected I had to read it again. OMG! she killed him? this was the best! I'm reading on.

Posted 1 Hour Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


1 Hour Ago

I'm honored by your enthusiastic read! (((HUGS))) I wish I had the attention span to write more stor.. read more


Wow! I turned a few shades of red at points in this story! Not because I'm a prude, but because your writing put me in the scene of their intimate moments. This was a cool read and am more than pleased I read this one. The twist was unbelievable, and so unexpected I had to read it again. OMG! she killed him? this was the best! I'm reading on.

Posted 1 Hour Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


1 Hour Ago

I'm honored by your enthusiastic read! (((HUGS))) I wish I had the attention span to write more stor.. read more
Haha I loved this! I genuinely lol’d at the point where his yellow rotting teeth killed the vibe. This is the first of your work I have read and I had absolutely no idea what to expect. It’s like a Tarantino version of a Mills & Boon novel! Awesome read!

Posted 1 Week Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


1 Week Ago

Thank you so much for a review that really brightened up my morning! I'm honored by your kind words .. read more

6 Days Ago

Definitely! And I’ll look forward to reading it :)
{Phew!!! There I was, enjoying the tender, linguistic, salacious descriptions of meeting up with an old beau. ....then.... POP POP POP.... I was given a coronary fibrillation. Love can take some amazing twists, particularly when it's a love for an old car.
BTW. I think I might also now need a a new starter solenoid. *wink*
Macabre Margie strikes again..
Loved it!!!. (((Hugs))) N.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


3 Weeks Ago

I'm sorry to say I must be too jaded to finish a sensual story without letting my inner fiend out. I.. read more
“POP! POP! POP!- where the heck did that come from??!! Glorious and sensuously written story with fresh California imagery (chaparral!) and abundant, vivid detail. Great picture, title and musical quotes. Like a romantic western come to life with feisty Celeste and gigolo Joaquin. Builds and sustains interest from beginning to end.Great believable conversation and seamless transition between paragraphs. Did not expect that ending though! Esta muerto,mi corazon- bye bye...Brava for the excellent prose Margie! Xo:):)

Posted 3 Weeks Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


3 Weeks Ago

My love stories reflect my life & therefore my jaded approach toward love! I simply can't finish a l.. read more
Que coisa! Final de episode ficou-se uma surpresa para mim!
From the beginning I was under suspicion as to why she is inviting this horrible Latin lover back into her life!
Margie, I didn't expect you to do justice in such a drastic but deserved manner!
Uma grande abraço.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mrudula Rani

3 Weeks Ago

There are several general resemblances between all these Latin languages, but I wouldn't be able to .. read more

3 Weeks Ago

Mainly I can understand written Spanish becuz the words are formed in similar patterns, but all the .. read more
Mrudula Rani

3 Weeks Ago

It is same with me! In print I can figure out most of the Latin languages except French!!
Hooked and held fast from beginning to end. What a thoroughly enjoyable and compelling read. Wow all joaquin apart, Joaquin was not the only one not to see that coming, I can tell ya...........N

Posted 3 Weeks Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


3 Weeks Ago

I started this out thinking it would be a happy story all the way thru. But then I popped out with t.. read more
Margie Hi. What an interesting avenue into parts of your writing I'd not seen before. And what a journey. Basically I love your phrasing and pace. It reads well and feels well balanced and joined up. I don't understand Spanish, and munchies were just a chocolate sweet in my childhood, but those are my problem not yours. Oh and I love the double entendre around buttery orb rising inch by inch immediately after a reference to his bulging shaft.

I'm trying to write a short story - it's literally taking years off and on. And I think I recognise in this piece some of the same issues that I'm facing, and these reflect your total understanding and multi-dimensional familiarity with what you're relating, when the reader doesn't have this at all. I think, for me, this manifested itself in three aspects
- I got lost a few times on who was doing what to who or who was speaking. My short story, if it emerges one day, is the follow on from the 'Basha and the Ferryman' beach refugees piece I did a couple of years ago, and I had this problem big time in that. In then end I resorted to doing it like a script for actors in a drama because I was having such difficulties. Then I could clearly denote who was speaking plus stage directions etc. It sort of worked but it was also a sort of cop-out because I couldn't skilfully write it as prose.
- Suddenly we're by the sea when I imagined some remote plain many miles inland. Might the chaparral have given me this clue? I'm not familiar enough with where this wind blows, but I remember an old western TV series called the High Chaparral and that was perhaps subconsciously where I went.
- There's something about her realisation of the state of his teeth and the distaste she feels that then jarred a little with all the sexy seductive teasing stuff that follows all the way until she's riding him on the beach. There is no hint of scheming in any of the narrative until she spies the gun. And then? Suddenly we go from seemingly enjoyable coupling to murder, and I'm sure it wasn't just the state of his teeth? There's a whole back story I don't get here that's conditioned and influenced her actions. His Becky choice might be it, but I could detect no trace of deep hurt or pain in how she talked in those parts. The 'I wanted to kill you' sounded like a reproof but not one with sustained venom.

Anyway, I'm ploughing through dozens of such bits of feedback from a friend who's read my draft story very very thoroughly, and I promise you I do this only because I enjoyed so much of this that it felt OK to talk about these aspects. I hope you're OK with this.

Best regards

Posted 3 Weeks Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


3 Weeks Ago

I have self-published online using Amazon (kindle) . . . nobody ever gives a s**t about reading me, .. read more
Nigel Newman

3 Weeks Ago

Our amateur band has had a lot of fun over the past 40 years writing and recording songs, and puttin.. read more

3 Weeks Ago

I always love hearing about your well-thought-out viewpoints . . . I tend to be more simplistic in h.. read more
danger danger danger...always there is danger ..from the most surprising places ...i suppose Mr. Joaquin was a tweeker anyway ... rotten teeth and all.... won't miss that car one bit will he!? :) i bought a 65 MGB for two pairs of pants ... it was being used as a field car and left in the pasture ... not very pretty but with some love and care under the hood it was fast ...what a ball.... never did meet a "Celeste" though :((((( dangerous or not!

Posted 3 Weeks Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

3 Weeks Ago

its not fair to tease an old man so ...but i love it ...:)) big hugs my dear ..i traded that MG for .. read more

3 Weeks Ago

Just the other night, I dreamed my pet bunnies got loose & I was outside trying to lure them back to.. read more
Einstein Noodle

3 Weeks Ago

awwwwwwwwwwwwww pet bunnies ..gotta love ya!
Your writing style is amazing! It let's me know I still have a long way to go. Wonderful story

Posted 3 Weeks Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


3 Weeks Ago

I did technical writing to earn my living for 30+ years, so I have had a lot of practice! *smile* My.. read more
This was an enthralling read from start to finish!!

I don't normally review stories because they're often long, tedious and can be difficult to get through with limited payoff in some cases. Poetry tends to be more my cup of tea, bite sized and easy to choke down even when it's dry. I made the mistake of thinking this was a poem, and I'm glad I did. I just started reading and about halfway through I realized it wasn't a poem. Duh. But it was mesmerizing: the dialogue was snappy and engaging, not feeling cumbersome at all; the incredible descriptions from the landscape, to the characters, their clothing, etc, etc, etc . . . I was going to quote a few parts here, but I couldn't decide which ones to highlight, there were so many wonderful segments I'd just end up quoting the entire piece, but here is one I really loved:

"Celeste’s vocals carry crystal clear across the chaparral as wintry dusk casts long shadows"

You really capture the setting and mood of the scene with this relatively short sentence filled with just the right words. And I loved the alliteration. Exquisite, really.

It was a gripping story that twisted and turned, it had some spice and it was deeply sensual and, I thought, romantic in parts, until the ending began to unfold subtly and then explosively. It was a twist I didn't see coming and it was a worthwhile payoff. It gave all the preceding dialogue so much more weight and significance upon second read as I started to wonder how genuine they were being with each other. After that climactic moment, I appreciated the efficient descent towards the conclusion, not lingering too long or being overly sentimental, but allowing that climax to remain fresh in the reader's mind. It certainly left an impression on me and had me immediately scrolling back up to read parts again.

As I said earlier, I was very pleasantly surprised by this piece and thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I can't promise that I'll be reading all your future stories, but this piece has definitely whet my appetite for good short fiction and I will most certainly think twice about passing over a piece the next time I see: "A Story by barleygirl".

Thank you for sharing this Margie, beautifully done!


Posted 3 Weeks Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


3 Weeks Ago

This is the best review I've gotten in a long long time! I am so thrilled! I know many people don't .. read more

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13 Reviews
Added on January 29, 2018
Last Updated on January 29, 2018



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