Awestruck

Awestruck

A Poem by barleygirl
"

just a whimsy . . .

"


You infuse my essence with snazzy
each of my tickled toes goes spazzy
cerebral ditty so ditzy it’s jazzy
saxophone sucking sassy from brassy
as your lover lassie leapt her chassis
those nights we ignited Tallahassee
honeyed murmurs rumbly and raspy
dining with my dapper a la Gatsby
dissolving my detached inner patsy
an athletic plunge deep and splashy
kaleidoscope eyelids faintly flashy
twirling my long tresses like taffy
sensuously savvy but never trashy
dewdrops of desire mash me madly
your remembrances still greeted gladly
despite my attitude spiraling sadly
“rest in peace” is what you do badly.




© 2018 barleygirl



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Featured Review

Margie’s rapping, toes start tapping
My brain goes in a whirl
After sixteen beats, synapses snapping
Please have mercy, Barleygirl.
My brain’s exploded – overloaded,
Hell, I'm old - I’m just outmoded.
Monorhyming, breathless timing,
Word arrangement - I’m too ancient
.My writing style, too Anglophile
My thesaurus far too plain.
I’m defeated - review completed.
.....I’m going back to bed again.
(((Hugs)))





Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

I know, really . . . how do any of us follow that guy? *smile*
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Neville Pettitt

6 Months Ago

Not possible, it would be like trying to strike a match on a jelly....



Reviews

Margie's poem's unique & I'mnique too so what's a neologism like that do for you? Another blockbuster you got here gall for sure...Wanted to add more but pc froze

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

Thanks, sweetie! The more neurotic this crazy world makes me feel, the more frenetic my rhyming obse.. read more
Neville Pettitt

6 Months Ago

Same back at you x
Deep and powerful words and thoughts. You danced on many subjects. I wanted to know more. I like when you test the language. You make the words come alive. Thank you dear friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

I like your comment about "testing the language" . . . I used to be very literal & linear when I sta.. read more
Coyote Poetry

6 Months Ago

Good to weave words dear Margie. Make us wish and dream. You are welcome dear Margie.
I don't think that I have ever read someone who rhymes as creatively as you do. It's truly phenomenal. I didn't find the ending as sad sad as I thought I would after numerous readings. It is a great tribute that anyone would be proud to hear. Some of us still believe in that old after life mystery and I think you're going to get a thank you one day. Peace out Napoleon. CD

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

I am smiling at your awesome strokes! *smile* Rhyming is an obsession with me & sometimes I'm embarr.. read more
My apologies, Margie. I hadn't looked beyond the superficial image of fun here and didn't pick up on the significance of the last line - I didn't mean to be so insensitive. (((Hugs))) Norman

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

No worries, my friend! This did end on a sad note, but most of the people who reviewed did not catch.. read more
Rhyming magically with a flirting quality here
as playful and also showing how lovely the images can be
til the ending with doing it badly --the end is stating what it is and not what it should be!


Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

Yes, unfortunately, the poem is a fantasy about someone who died 3 years ago, my best friend at the .. read more
Josie E. Cook M. A.

6 Months Ago

Sorry for the loss of life you missed together.
:(
Cherished moments in time often br.. read more
You have a fun way with words, Margie, I found myself reading the poem out loud again and again, until the the last three lines- hit me like a brick. "'Rest in peace' is what you do badly"- So caught up in your dance of joy and love and playful seduction, then the realization, the so sorrowful realization that the love you had is now only a memory. I'm not sure if I understand the poem as you meant to write it, but that is how my heart understood it.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

The last 3 lines also hit me like a brick. I was imagining how much fun I felt when I knew my best f.. read more
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BBP
You always have such a fun way with words Margie but still keep it classy! Always a pleasure! :)

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

This is a perfectly balanced review & I'm honored especially cuz it's coming from YOU! *smile* Fondl.. read more
People everywhere should be picking up on the vibe of this! You are really something, girl! ; )


Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

Thank you for appreciating my little insanity departures where I get rhyme crazy! *smile* Fondly, Ma.. read more
Kelly Scheppers

6 Months Ago

...it makes a difference in the day! ; )
an infectious flow as you strike awe in us. potent and leaves its mark ... :)

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

Thanks for a great review, especially knowing I've struck awe -- what could be better than that? (((.. read more
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RWE
Margie, I'm always impressed with how you find such clever and playful rhymes, and then craft them into an original work. Seems I can't say much that others haven't said. I am intrigued by the last line in your poem. When I first read it, my takeaway was you'd lost this former love (presumably death) and they won't leave your mind in peace. I often misinterpret or overthink these things. Still, it's what came to mind.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

6 Months Ago

You are one of only two people who really seem to "get me" on that ending. It's exactly what you gue.. read more

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29 Reviews
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Added on February 19, 2018
Last Updated on February 19, 2018

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



About
Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

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