An Ocean Away and Six Feet Below

A poem about the coming end to disease, and inevitable separation of two people who love each other more than the world.

You cannot see this contamination, as my soul weeps useless tears, on this lake of lost control,

for it is an ill path I walk, pushing this diminished life up mountainous peaks with gloomy will.

 

You cannot see this harbor, safe place I scratch and claw for, where the air is pure and plentiful,

for you must focus mostly on the “day in, day out” world, while time gave up on me so long ago.

 

You cannot see my childlike confusion and founded fears, for empathy only goes so far in this mess,

for while I wail silent in the dark, I'm consumed with masochistic dreams of what is to come.

 

You cannot see how this rips, demanding this sickness not rule my life, closed eyes, quiet lies,

for you do not know your expression of such despair and sadness, tough man, eyes sopping dry.

 

You cannot see how your love lifts me, calms this heart that pounds when I imagine us apart,

for I thank God, grateful to be the stricken one, watching you suffer, I could not bear.

 

You cannot see how I agonize about who, if not me, will take care of you, when you grow older,

for I burn inside, telling you its okay to find another when I'm gone, killing to say, saying for you.

 

Someday, you will see me to the bottom of the ocean, and then you must leave me, and swim away,

and as I see you depart, now an ocean away and six feet below, I will ever cry for you, my love.

Author's Note

Awards:

Tear Jerker Contest: 1st Place

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Barbara,

Oh, My God, what passion. When the passion takes hold of you, Dear Lady, your writing is pure bliss. As I've told you the message sweeps everything aside and here it blinds the reader to anything else. We are burned and consumed by your passion.

You see things so clearly. You express them so clearly.

"Someday soon, you will see me to the bottom of the ocean, and then you must swim away, alone.
And as I will see you depart, an ocean away and six feet below, I will cry for you always, my love."

A zinger to the heart. We gasp with understanding at your anticipation of loss. We cannot truly understand. We get a glimpse here and there and we stagger back with the insight. You live this every day.

You are making a powerful human statement and record of your passing. A small comfort, I know, but it is invaluable to us that struggle to understand the human heart, its passions, and its amazing strength--you have such strength, we shall learn from you!

Kudos! This is as fine a write as one can find on WC. Highest marks. This is among the less than dozen or so writing that I have rated as highest.

Powerful. Staggering. Beautiful in its pure aching of the human heart.

Very best regards,

Rick

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

A beautiful piece, a somber piece, a passionate piece. Nothing lasts forever, not even the perfect love. Each day rather healthy or sick, may we all live as if tomorrow will never come...it is not promised. The greatest gift is right now, the biggest mistake is missing it by letting our minds get trapped in yesterday or tomorrow.

[R.A. Youngblood]

This left me speechless, i really like the way you wrote it..
Beautiful.. Thanks for sharing, Well done :D

[MOON]

Poignant beautiful write. God Bless.

[Emerald Seas]

Dear Barbara,
Your heart and passion bleeds through this poem and you already know how I have come to admire your spirit through all you that you endure. To be able to write with such a purity of feeling over all this amazes me. To be able to read your outpouring from the depth of your heart, I am honored. You are a very special woman, with a heart of gold and unmistakable talent that is unwavering in your distress.
May God bless and hold you and your husband close by His side through this unfair ordeal.
Sirrah

[BLBrown]

Sheila,

Thanks so much for your kind review. I wrote this last night, and confess I had to stop several times just to catch my breath and wipe away tears. Yes, love transcends...he gave me a beautiful baby...he helped me recover from child abuse...he has always been here for me these past 35 years...and it is heart-breaking to know that sometime in the near future I must leave him.

Thanks again.
Barbara

[Sheila Kline]

One can see the profound love you feel for your husband as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death!

It is love as this that transcends all time and space, that shall be able to glance to the bottom of the ocean and swim away, but still "see" as to "see" is in the eye of the beholder, and it is the beholder who shall carry on with love that is expressed with such conviction!!

Your passion for living shall not be snuffed out at death, as it is shall surely continue on in the heart of those you love. I ask how they could forget one who writes as this?

Your words shake my spirit...........and heart!!!!!

Thank you for sharing such intimate outpourings of YOU!!

[Deandra Dawn]

I love your style and it flows beautifully. Very nice work.