10 True Things About Me

A poem for a contest. The directions said the title had to be "10 True Things About Me" I saw nothing there that stated the ten things actually had to be true, just that rule about the title :D

Ten tears I have cried
Ten deaths have I died
And all for the love
Of the last pudding cup
So I sneak out at night
When then sleeps the light
And all for the love
Of the last pudding cup

         Of all secrets I hold
         Only one I have told
         And that's the dream
         Of owning a moose
         Yes a moose of my own
         Just for me, me alone
         A moose that I think
         I'd name Larry

I'd once had a dream
That I'd tied up some queen
And was fighting her
Gummy bear soldiers
I awoke with a fright
In the middle of the night
And discovered the queen
Was my sister

        My fondest of hopes
        Is that my parents' tight ropes
        Will crumble
        And fade long away
        Oh that I could be free!
        What a time it could be!
        But for now freedom's not
        Meant for me

I've never liked people

Or churches' tall steeples
They scare me
Quite out of my wits
But I've always loved toast
And the stories of ghosts
And odd random poems
That I read

        People call me amusing
        And find me confusing
        But I don't think I've
     Claimed not to be
        It's just who I am
        No need to understand
        And confusing...well
        I'll be what I'll be

I had an odd childhood
That was sometimes quite good
And other times...
Well, I'm alive
The family still thinks I'm weird
(I'm convinced it's the beard)
But we usually get along
Quite alright

        I hate movies of books
        I give fish dirty looks
        And I don't have a friend
        To my name
        I collect roundish things
        And I just love to sing
        To the aliens
        That live in my room

I could live on French bread

And the smarts in my head

(Well, with the last one
I wouldn't live very long)
I've seen horrible things
And dreamed beautiful dreams
And I'm scared of
Believing they're true

        I'm just one more face
        Another person, out of place
        And sometimes the world
        Makes me small
        But I'll always return
        Like a star always burns
        Because if not
        I'd miss out on the pie

              

              

Author's Note

So there you have it. Ten true things about me. Ten kind've true things about me. Alright, ten stanzas of things that may or may not have a spot of truth in them. Yes. I know. Now you want to write on of your own, don't you? I promise that at least fifty percent of the things in here were maybe true :D

Reviews

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

Oh my gosh. I've been on this site for a few days now and read a lot of things, but this is one of my absolute favorites. You're so cute and funny and junk! I found this poem because I have this bad habit of checking in on contests that I have entered, and I am just in awe of how adorable you manage to be, even if your ten truths aren't necessarily true. I am very much looking forward to reading more!

[Becca Bishop]

Thank you!!!! :D :D :D :D I have no idea why you'd like something like this (you seem like you'd have good taste) but maybe you haven't read much of the really good stuff on here. You'll have to go further than my writing to find it. A lot further. A lot lot further. A lot lot lot further. A - well you get the picture. I wish I could give you some special prize for being the first review, but I can't. Well, I could but I'm just not into making a lot of effort for things that don't involve chocolate for me. Sorry :P Thank you for the review anyway!!!!

P.S. Welcome to the WritersCafe family!!! We're all weirdos here *laugh manically*

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

Oh you're just being down on yourself. This is adorbs. And don't worry, I'm diving into this whole thing head-first. It's quite the literary adventure and has my spidey-senses of writing power simply TINGLING. I'll eat a piece of chocolate and pretend that it's from you, okay? I HAVE A PRIZE! If I had money and it wasn't creepy, I would send you a box of chocolates...ALAS!

Stay Golden.

[Becca Bishop]

Yes, well, someone's gotta be down on me otherwise my head would be so big that I'd just float up into outer space and....boom. No more Becca :P
You should chronicle your adventures in the scary and intriguing world of writing :P I'll read it as long as I make a guest appearance!!!

GO SPIDERMAN!!!! Just kidding. I really hate all superheros but it seemed like I needed to say that at the moment. Don't know why.

:D You'd do that??? FOR ME?????!!!! You're the bestest person ever!!!!! And yes I did just use the word 'bestest'!!!!!

Well crap. I don't think it's creepy at all!!! If you had money I would gladly accept all the chocolate that you could possibly get to me. Oh well. Guess I'll just have to dream....

Stay...um...you know that color that crayola has that says it's blue but when you color with it it turns out to be a very light purple??? That's the color. Stay that color :D :D :D :D

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

Well, I've got my parents to be down on me, so I don't want to be down on anyone, running the risk that their parents are just as bad as mine. But I know what you're saying about the swollen ego. If someone likes one of my Youtube videos, I'm on Cloud nine for the next hour.

I WOULD chronicle my adventures in writing, but I'm already a little bit committed to a blog about everything that even has to do a little bit with my life, and yes, I think today you will make a guest appearance. I don't know what else I'm going to write about. I already scrooged it up by mocking the holidays, so...yeahh.
May the ghosts of Christmases past, present, and future not haunt me for too long. BAHH HUMBUG!

Oh gosh, if I was rich, I would be endorsing every talented writer I found with whatever they needed to stay motivated (within reason). It would be a joy to load you with chocolates and maybe a few fountain pens...or just a chocolate fountain.

STAY CHARTREUSE, I SAY!

[Becca Bishop]

Bummer. Parents can be a downer sometimes. So can gravity. Oh well, can't live with it (them) can't live without it (them). If someone liked all of your youtube videos, what cloud would you be floating on then? Let's see....if one video = cloud nine then x amount of videos multiplied by nine would be what cloud you're floating on!!!! That's a high cloud :o I'd bring a parachute if I were you :P

Yay!!! I'm going to be a blog star!!! Mocking the holidays is always fun :D I find it quite ironic that Christmas is so stressful when it's supposed to be the best holiday ever. OH THE IRONY!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's it, if you ever run for president I'm so voting for you. BRING ON THE CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!!!

Stay gamboge my friend. Stay gamboge. :P :D :D :D :D

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

It is at times likes these when I wonder why we're not the best of friends, and then I am casually reminded that we don't know each other at all. I'm pretty sure that the cloud I will be on is OVER 9000! Oh gosh, there, I let my geek side show.

It's a side effect of the way I was raised combined with too many hours on Tumblr. It's a blessing and a curse. A burden and a weight off my shoulders. ;D

The best holiday ever is, in fact, Halloween...or my birthday. Both of those are pretty rad.

Oh god, I would never run for President. It's too hard. Mark me down for Starbucks Barista or casual homeless person.

Stay Malachite, dearest. How I do love that color.

[Becca Bishop]

Hello, my name is Becca. I'm your new bestest buddy in the whole wide world!!!! Congratulations!!! You're life has just becomes a lot me difficult and this friendship might possibly be the scariest thing you've ever experienced!!! :D :D :D :D
Oh. My. Goodness!!! That's a very high up cloud!!! If you fall make sure you tell me first so I can videotape it :D :D :D
If I could recommend a cure: run around your front yard three times wearing an eskimo suit, shout "Becca Bishop is freaking awesome" at the top of your lungs 37 times, make a batch of chocolate chip cookies using only your toes and then sleep upside down for exactly 6 hours, 22 minutes and 59 seconds. Let me know how that goes :D
I'm sorry, the best holiday ever is actually National Doodle Day (May 11). I mean, come on!!! How can you NOT love National Doodle Day???!! I can't even draw and I love it!!!! So it's either that or my birthday which is obviously much more..rad...er...yeah, rader than your birthday :P
Dang it!!! How am I ever supposed to get my chocolate fountain now????? >:(

Stay bistre, bestest buddy :D :D :D

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

Hey, my name is Telea and I'm so happy we're bestest buddies because I love having bestest buddies! Oh my god, you think it's going to be scary for ME? Just wait until you find out the kind of person I am. Oh gods of Asgard, you'll be running for your life! IT'S THE HIGHEST CLOUD IN THE UNIVERSE, I SWEAR! IT'S EVEN HIGHER THAN RAINBOWDASH CAN FLY!
How am I supposed to know if I fall? And I don't get cell reception on cloud 7075902645094 anyway.
My front yard is enormous! I live on a farm in rural Wisconsin! Running around in it would be like running a marathon...at least, for this non-athletic person it would be. And I have to save my voice for all of the sweet serenades I'm going to sing for you ;D
I've made Spaghetti with only my toes, does that count? I COULD NEVER SLEEP THAT LONG. YOU'RE INSULTING AN INSOMNIAC!
I've never heard of National Doodle Day. It sounds most delightful. Howabout National Pasta Day? Gotta love me some PASSTAAAA!
Oh god, my Fandoms are showing. :P
One day, when I rule the world from my comfortable perch on a couch made of Nutella, I will make sure you have a chocolate fountain.

Stay Atomic Tangerine, love!

[Becca Bishop]

Well, I can see a flaw with your logic already: the running thing. Becca + running = ULTIMATE DEATH TO EVERYONE IN THE IMMEDIATE AREA IN AN EXTREMELY PAINFUL FASHION THAT WILL MOST LIKELY LEAVE THEM CRYING AND BEGGING FOR MERCY. I feel so strongly about this 'running' thing that I needed to use caps. Yup.
Are you sure there's not a higher cloud? I bet there is!! WHY DID YOU LIE TO MEEEEEEE????!!!!!! WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well...maybe you should talk with your cloudlord (or landlord, whatever) about getting cell reception up there. Just a suggestion :D
No way!!!! I've always wanted to have a farm. Unfortunately none of my family think like me. They don't even like camping >:( Blah OH WOE IS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, I think that might be about the weirdest thing that anyone I know has ever done. Ever. Made spaghetti with your toes???? WHAT!!!!!! I hope you washed it. Why in the world would you make spaghetti with your toes????
OH, COME ON!!!! WHAT ELSE DON'T YOU KNOW???!!!! National Doodle Day is....the....um....IT'S THE BOMB!!!!!! How bout National Pigeon Day? National Book Month??
Ok, well...sorry to burst your bubble but you'll never rule the world. The world has already decided that it would much rather have me for a ruler so I'm going to indulge it. Although the couch made of Nutella seems like a pretty awesome idea....squishy, but awesome. I guess if I can't be the ruler of the world for some reason then you should. That way I at least get a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!!!!!!

Stay Amaranth, you Wisconsin girl!!!! (Any chance of me getting some cheese????)

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

Haha, we have so much in common. DEATH TO THE RUNNING OF ANY SORTS OF DISTANCES!

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

And oh no, I had more to say, and now it looks dumb. Okay, so basically if it's not me running towards something made of chocolate or pizza, it's not me running at all. That makes me sound like a fattie, but I think I have a rather glorious body, and this is why I need someone to tell me I'm terribly ugly...Which is probably why I live in this town...everyone hates my body in this town and wants to use it for dirty things and then forget I exist. Luckily for me, I have SELF RESPECT! I am a god of self-respect.
Anyhow, we could rule the world together, you know! And I know a lot of holidays, thank you very much, it's just that, uhm, well...sometimes I forget or am not told. I LOVE NATIONAL BOOK MONTH AND I ALSO WON NATIONAL NOVEL WRITING MONTH, SO YES.
As far as cheese goes, well, I don't know, but maybe we should be legit pen-pals, because that's cool cranberries (another Wisconsin specialty) and I love writing letters!
Stay not Magenta, lovely!

[Becca Bishop]

Ok, I'm seriously starting to think that we're long lost sisters who were separated at birth. This is scary! Chocolate...pizza...self respect....!!!! You're like a Wisconsin version of me!!! Or maybe I'm a Utah version of you....whatever :D You're probably taller than me either way.
Hmm....well I guess I could handle sharing the world with someone as long as I got a really comfortable ruling chair that was a bit higher than yours and I got supreme ultimate power over Italian food.
We should definitely be pen-pals!!! I had a legit pen-pal once (come to think of it, I think she might've been from Wisconsin too...I remember asking her about cheese) but that was back in fourth grade and she was an extreme girly girl. All we talked about were her clothes, our school trips and whatever else fourth grade girls talk about.

Yer always after me Lucky Charms!!!! :D

Stay Wisconsin Moovalous Cheese (An honest to goodness Crayola color - MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!)

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

Oh my Asgard, what if we are? That would mean I have THREE sisters instead of just two. Or maybe...this isn't my real family...Ohmygodness, WHAT IF MY LIFE IS A LIE?!
Well, it depends on who is older to decide who is a version of who. in Human years, I'm eighteen. :P
Uhm, I think we'd have to compromise. I'm a big fan of the Italian food. Do I get the Tamales and the everything else, and then we share with each other? Okay, fine. But my chair is comfy, too. I don't want a sore butt.
THAT WOULD BE SO COOL! I have like, four Pen Pals because I am a Pen Pal maniac or something like that.
I just love writing to people and getting letters. Oh, ick, clothes? I just really don't like shopping.
SO OMG LET'S REALLY BE PEN PALS!
I cannot believe that that is a real color! Urgh.
STAY AFTER-MIDNIGHT BLUE. I LOVE THAT COLOR.

[Becca Bishop]

If your life is a lie at least you figured it out before it was too late. And now you have a reason to go on a super long and detailed journey to get revenge on the monsters who separated us!!! Let's go tomorrow!!! I'll bring the popcorn you bring the non-caffeinated soda that tastes like cardboard :D
Darn ;( I guess you're older. I'm only sixteen, but maturity wise I'm probably....seven. And that's being generous :D TACO!!!!
Yeah, I guess I can share the tamales as long as I get all the french bread. But that's all the compromise you're gonna get. Don't push it >:( :P And I guess you can have a chair that's comfy, but it can't have pictures of talking dairy products on it. I already called dibs on that.
Yeah, clothing is extremely boring. I don't really see why anyone needs more than two pairs of pants and a few shirts. As long as you wash regularly it doesn't matter :P I'd much rather spend my money on books and cheese whiz :D :D :D :D
Neat-o :P Are they all from the U.S.? I get to be numero cinco!!! Did you see me speak spanish right there? Can I pretend you're from Rome when we're pen pals? Cause then all my friends will be jealous :D Well...they would if I had friends...hmm...
Suck it up lolz :P It's much better than "Idaho Tater Tan", "Texas Alamo A la Mode", and "Utah Bee-Utah-Ful" and it's especially better than "Massachusetts Boston Tea Party" I mean, really Crayola? You're naming crayons after historical events now?
Stay venetian gold dah-ling (or darling, however you wanna pronounce it. But my way's funner :D)

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

Yes, that's right! Because if I know my life is a lie, and I can find the truth and become a superhuman with the ability to find the error in the ways of humans. I'll start my training tomorrow! Pssshhh sixteen. I remember sixteen. I wish I didn't remember sixteen...but seventeen was worse, so you have something to look forward to. Wink wink, nudge nudge. Just stay not pregnant, okay? My first encounter with you should NOT be on a reality TV show.
Maturity-wise, I range from 3 to 80. I'll sometimes be super sage and just bring the knowledge and wisdom bombs, and sometimes people will think I'm crapping my own pants with the weird things I say.
But...I like French Bread. So much that sometimes my dad and I go dumpster-diving at the New French Bakery to fish out bags and bags of their two day old french loaves that they can't sell. Yuhmm.
Ohkay, well, my chair will actually be a love-seat, and it will be just black or purple or something and there will always be an attractive man (Namely Jensen Ackles or Joseph Gordon-Levitt) waiting there to snuggle with me while I rule the land.
Nooo, one of my Pen Pals is from Cornwall! I met him on Omegle, strangely enough, and he is SO ADORABLE AND HE TURNED EIGHTEEN ON CHRISTMAS DAY HOW COOL IS THAT?! Anyway, we exchanged Skype and we Skype weekly with a side of sending letters to each other. It's so cute.
Yes, you can pretend I'm from Rome. I'll print off pictures of the Colosseum and send them to you. ;D
Oh god, Crayola just needs to stop. I had so much respect for them. UGH.
Stay Roman Bronze, Dahhh-ling. I like your way, too. I use it all of the time, because I do love me some fake Bostonian Accents. :D

[Becca Bishop]

:P K, I'll keep that in mind. Not sure if I want to be seventeen anytime soon now....thanks for scaring me :I
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Oh. You weren't kidding about being mature? Awkward. :P Nah, I'm just making fun of ya :P I'm sure you can be pretty mature. Sometimes. Maybe. Ok, maybe not :D
Are you serious????!!! Man, and I thought my dad and I were bonding when we did musical duets at ten at night. But wow, dumpster diving for the bread of the heavens!!! I could learn a thing or two from you....
I guess I can consent to you having a love seat as a throne when we rule the world. HOWEVER there must needs be a few rules:
1. Thou shalt not put any kind of chair before me
2. Thou shalt not covet my chair even though it is clearly superior to yours in every way.
3. Thou shalt not lie...on the love seat. No sleeping on the job (get what I did there? Huh? Huh???? :D :D :D So funny!!!!)
4. Thou shalt only be allowed to sit on the love seat from 9:34 in the morning to 10:37 of the evening. No exceptions.
5. Thou shalt share any pie/cheesecake that comes into thy possession.
6. Thou shalt not shave they head and wear a purple wig. This one's a big no-no.
7. Thou shalt position thy love seat and snuggly men PRECISELY five inches below the chocolate throne of our all powerful august and benevolent ruler...that is to say, me :D
8. Thou shalt not read past rule number "8"
9. By reading past rule number '8' AND number '9' you will experience dreadful things!!!! Continue at your own peril.
10. Thou shalt turn back before it is too late!!!!
11. Thou hast read the final rule and now YOU WILL DIE!!!!!
So if you just follow all those then I'm sure we'll get along swell as we watch our sad subjects wither under our dictatorship :D :D :D :D THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!!
No way!!! Hmm...Cornwall....it sounds like a British or Scottish or English place. Am I right? I suck at geography :P And a Christmas birthday!!! That must be supper awesome or a real bummer. I'm glad my birthday's in the summer....NO STUPID SNOW!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
:D Awesome!!!! I've got a new pen pal from Rome everybody!!! I'm super cool ;)

Stay Warm Muffin, cupcake. That's funny :P Almost like an oxymoron :D :D :D
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

You and your dad do musical duets? I'm super jealous! My dad is generally not a nice guy anymore and is planning on kicking me out of the house, so that's a little awkward.
As far as the rules go, I read and accepted all of them, and I'm only alive because I am secretly a Time-Lord and I simply climbed into my Tardis and went back. Or something.
This reply might be short. It is 3 in the morning and my fingers are FREEZING.
Cornwall is, indeed, British...or generally European.
So one of us will have to message the other our address so that actual writing can take place. :P
My birthday is in the summer as well! 'm an August baby, though I was due in June. Gave my mom a really hard time while in the womb, but then I made up for it by being a dream-baby until I was two.
Stay Glacial Snowdrift, Snowbunny. :P

[Becca Bishop]

Yeah :( Nearly everyone in my family plays a musical instrument because both of my parents majored in music. I guess they expect us to be some sort of musical genius kids or something...they were pretty bummed out when I said I liked writing better :P :D
Hehehehe :P Dr. Who
Might I suggest you put some gloves on? Honestly, kids these days. SOLVE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER!!!!
Ooooh :D August what???!!! I'm the 19. And somehow I can imagine you being a problem baby :P Mwahahahahahaha ;D

Stay Almond, you nut (see what I did there? :P)

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

It's just my dad and I that play musical instruments, and I aspire to major in Music performance with a minor in Theatre and Creative Writing...meanwhile all of my other siblings are becoming vets and psychologists. I guess I'm the bad egg now, rather than when I was a child.
I love that show; The Doctor is my Home-dog.
I own no gloves. This is Wisconsin, not the Antarctic! Gosh.
August 5th! I'll be nineteen this year! I feel so old and stuff!
OMG I'll be nineteen and your birthday is the 19th. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
Problem CHILD, my dear. My baby years were smooth until the age of four. Then I learned how to read and stuff got intense.

Stay Coconut, you looner (see what I didn't do there? :D)

[Becca Bishop]

What instrument do you play??? NO! Wait, lemme guess. Piccolo? Guitar? Piano? Maracas? Didgeridoo? Spoons? Violin? Viola? Cello? Bass? Trumpet? Clarinet? Flute? Trombone? Saxophone? Drums? Um.....
In truth I barely even know what this Dr. Who thing is. One of my friends in Greenhouse talks about it all the time. Sometimes I wanna shove here in a Tardis...>;) hehehehe
You don't have to be in the Antarctic to own gloves!!! I have three pairs of gloves that I stole from various people in my family and I'm not in the Antarctic!!!!! Silly goose!!! When will you learn that I am always, always, ALWAYS right???
OOOOOHHHHH. You're old :D OMGosh!!! You're right!!! That's no coincidence!!! It's so obvious that we were separated at birth to silence a conspiracy and to protect the world from us!!!! Why didn't I realize it before?
Yes, you are a problem child :D A problem everything :P Your poor parents....

(P.S. I see what you didn't do there :P)

Stay Antique Brass, you...um...you...you SOFA!!!! Yeah ok. That didn't really make since at all whatsoever.

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

I playyyy...Spoons, Guitar, Piano, Clarinet, and Cups. I also sing, which is what I pride myself on. Kind of. Sort of. Maybe.
Ohhh, Doctor Who is pretty great, and ANY fan would be more than pleased if you shoved them into a Tardis. You need a better threat...like shoving them through the crack in the Universe, which is a great threat considering if you do that, they cease to have ever existed at all, EVER. They're completely wiped away as if they had never existed.
OH MY GOD, There I am nerd-ranting again, I really must quit that. It's incessant and scares people away.
I haven't owned gloves or mittens in YEARS and I live in freezing Wisconsin. I refuse to conform, I say! I am also always right. The world will explode if we're both always right and we disagree!
I KNOW I'M OLD. When I'm in the shower, I can feel my skin shriveling and I look down and I'm a prune. I swear it's me aging and not the water.
OH MY HOLY BUCKETS OF ASGARD, YOU'RE RIGHT! Conspiracy no more. Down with the government! I mean...ladidah...
I also feel sorry for my parents...D:

Stay Bifrost, dear Asgardian.

[Becca Bishop]

Oh my gosh I got four outta the five!!! How the heck do you play cups??? That sounds like you're making it up :P Are you??? :O You'd LIE to me???!!!
Alright. Be prepared to be shoved into a Universe crack.
I just realized how bad that sounded :P SORRY!!!! :D :D :D :D
Whoa...how can you be always right when I'm the only one in the world who's always right? That just doesn't seem very right to me. I think that someone's been lying to you all these years. You poor thing :P
:D I think I'm gonna start calling you Grandma or something...maybe dinosaur :D EVERYBODY loves dinosaurs!!!! EVERYBODY!!!!
Mwahahahahaha!!! We're going to have to start a secret revolt!!! Let's have our headquarters be in a cake store!!! That'd be delicious! I mean...that'd be smart!!!

Stay Chartreuse, cupcake!!!

[Mylifeinheartbeats]

I SHALL PROVE IT TO YOU WITH THE CUPS. HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJZIKrHxA5Y
IT'S A THING. OKAY. MOVING ON.
I'd never lie to you, gosh! Speaking of impossible things, today I found out about color-changing nail-polish. Based on HEAT.
Ugh, why would you ever shove me into a crack into the universe? Then we could never be friend. You wouldn't even remember me...
Why can't we both be right? God, you're so selfish sometimes. Ugh. :P
Nooo, don't call me grandma, that's what they call my daughter! ;D
Annnnnnnddd secret revolt...can it be in a candy story that MAKES cakes? I like candy.
I already told you to stay Chartreuse, so you have ruined the game. HOW DARE YOU!

[Becca Bishop]

I feel so...enlightened....how did I live without knowing about the miraculous music that is cups? I BOW BEFORE YOUR INSANELY AMAZING KNOWLEDGE OF ALL THINGS AWESOME!!!!!
I wish my house had icicles :( Everywhere I go, people's houses have these huge icicles and then I get back to my house and BOOM. No icicles. It's depressing....
Are you sure you wouldn't lie to me? ARE YOU POSITIVE? ARE YOU POSITIVELY SURE???? SURELY POSITIVE??? Did you bake me some muffins??? :D :D :D :D Yeah??!!! Yeah???
I thought you said you wanted to be shoved into a crack in the universe!!!! I thought you said, "Becca, please threaten me with bodily harm by shoving me down a crack in the Universe. I will love you forever and buy you a million and ONE cupcakes if you do this for me" at least, that's what I got out of your message. Does this mean I won't get my cupcakes??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is an OUTRAGE!!!!
Nail polish?? What is this strange subject of which you speak? Is it edible? Can you use it to kill someone? Will it make me grow five inches? :D :D :D :D
We can't both be right because then we'd both be wrong. Two positives don't make a negative, but three positives make a left. And three rights make a blueberry bush!
Fine....I call you...I dub thee (that's better)....DINOSAUR!!!!! Because, as I pointed out previously. EVERYBODY LOVES DINOSAURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Yesh! As long as I get to do the cake decorating!!! I loooooove cake decorating ;D
Yes, but it's such a fun word and I wanted to say it, even though it's a really ugly color!!! However, my awesomeness made it ten times better than when you said it so in reality it's almost like a different color when I say it :D :P

Stay Razzmatazz because the games still on!!! Unless you're out of colors....mwahahahahahahahahaha ;D

[Tomi]

I Love it! I Love it! I Love it! I really do feel like writing mine.. this has humour and truth in it aswell. What a fun way to describe stuff about you.. Excellent becca..thanks you for sharing :)

[Becca Bishop]

Thanks!!! I'm glad you found it funnyish. Sometimes I honestly think that my kind of humor is too blatantly obvious that it's lost on people....so thanks :D :D :D And thanks for reading!!

[Sid]

Haha sweet write Becca, I really like this, it's got that usual Becca humor and charm that I like so much. The revelations are questionable but are a lot of fun to read, quite some imagination you got there. This made me smile so thank you for that and it feels good to read good poetry after nearly a month of being on a break from this site....great write, I love it!

[Becca Bishop]

A MONTH??!!! How the heck could you stay away for a whole MONTH???!!! I mean...wow...I start missing my computer self after just a few hours!!! I actually feel kind've insulted now ;P

Thanks for the read and review :) Were you laughing at the writing or the fact that the writing seems to show that I'm slowly going crazy over here?

[Lina Grey]

lol I love this! You're hilarious, and if you didn't point out that they might not all be true, I'd be inclined to think they were. I've read things like this and written something like this, but you're the first person I've read to turn it into an actual poem-most of us just list. Now I think the rest of us are a little boring in comparison lol xD

[Becca Bishop]

Why thank you!!! If I wasn't an extremely humble and...humble person then I'd have to agree with your comment on my hilarious-ness. What you call hilarious I think of as issues. I've got a lot of issues :D :D :D I'm glad that you kind've liked it!!! Thank you for the review. I can't stop smiling now :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[Lina Grey]

ahaha you're just adorable! not all 'issues' are necessarily bad. I've got a lot of issues, too, and I've always thought of them as being bad things, but they help make me who I am and I wouldn't really fix any of them if I could. It depends on what you do with them and how you deal with them. I don't think any of your's are all that bad. In fact, I actually share some of them, well, maybe. It depends on how true you were in this xD your welcome for the review, it was my pleasure :D

[C.C. Marx]

Only you Becca would make 10 things that amusing and interesting to read!! Protest the lists! Haha well nice write I enjoyed it :ppp

[Becca Bishop]

Wooo!!! Protests!!! I'll bring the picket signs :D :D :D Thank you for the read and review :P I'm glad that some people find my unexplainable oddness funny instead of frightening :D Thanks again!!!

[C.C. Marx]

Never frightening we need more odd people in the world I say we feed pregnant women fancy dish soaps and Canadian rhubarb pie, that should do it

[Becca Bishop]

Excellent evil scheme. You're one silly goose :P Should we plan on doing this sometime in May? May sounds nice :D

[C.C. Marx]

Ahaha I like may it's a nice month, unlike April -_-

[Becca Bishop]

Exactly!!! I'll see you in May then! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! WOOO!!!!

[C.C. Marx]

You better be, do you know how expensive Canadian rhubarb pie is?

[Becca Bishop]

Ooohh...it's Canadian!!!! Awesome!!! I thought we were gonna have to make it ourselves :D

[C.C. Marx]

I would never suggest something that involves manual labor Becca!

[Becca Bishop]

PHEW!!!! That's good cause I'd never do anything that involves manual labor :D And if you DID happen to suggest it I think you'd quickly find yourself either being slapped with a fish or thrown off a hill....:)

[C.C. Marx]

Well good news is I like hills, bad news, not feeling the fish!! Oh well good thing there is no labor involving this semi-illegal project

[Becca Bishop]

Aww...only semi-illegal??? Bummer :( But at least there's no labor!!! Can we have an adrenaline fueled chase scene right after we begin throwing the rhubarb pies where the cops are after us but we use our incredibly unreal gymnastic avoidance maneuvers and get way???!!!! PLEASE????!!!!

[C.C. Marx]

OF COURSE!!! and the getaway car most certainly needs to be one of those creepy white vans that has a glowing sign saying free candy and the running hoards of children will get in the police's way

[Becca Bishop]

Oh my goodness!!! YOU'RE A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND!!!! That's a great idea!!! Can I drive??? Please??? Pretty please?!!

[C.C. Marx]

Of course lol I'm not exactly the best person to have drive, just make sure we don't drive off any bridges ok? Me no likely bridges

[Becca Bishop]

Darn ;( And here I was, planning on driving off a bridge....YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!!!!!

[C.C. Marx]

I'm sorry but I have this fear....don't judge me!!!! I"M LETTING YOU DRIVE REMEMBER?!?!? AND DO YOU KNOW HOW TO HOT WIRE A CREEPY PEDO VAN????

[Becca Bishop]

Man I knew something was missing from my education!!!! I need to go learn how to hot wire a creepy white van with tinted windows!!! Don't worry, citizen. I'm on it.

[C.C. Marx]

Nah do not fear my friend, I was taught how to do that, and also how by drinking water, not to get a hangover (I don't/not allowed to even drink), the things people will teach you is amazing

[Becca Bishop]

Fascinating....so we're all set then!!! We've just got to pick a date and write our goodbye letters and decide where to buy our pie and find a cat-sitter for my cats and pack up all my books and get you a case of drinking water and ......

[C.C. Marx]

I can find you a cat sitter real cheap its this real nice website called ghetto cat-sitters.com nice people and the water is a must

[Becca Bishop]

Awesome!!! Let's do it. Oooh...I was also wondering....can we stop by a cupcake shop before we go throw pies at people??? OOOHHH!!!! That reminds me!!! Have I told you that I'm gonna own a cupcake shop called "That One Place" so that whenever someone wants to go and eat my awesome cupcakes it'll go something like this:

Person One: Man, I'm hungry!!! I feel in the mood for something sweet.
Person Two: Dude!!!! We should so totally get some cupcakes!!!
Person One: Oooohhh Mannn!!!! That's, like, the greatest idea ever!!! Hey!!! We should go to That One Place!!!
Person Two: The Cupcake Shoppe?
Person One: Nah, dude!!! That One Place!!!
Person Two: What one place?
Person One: That. One. Place.
Person Three: You guys both sound like idiots. I'm gonna go get some cupcakes from That One Place.

So yeah. That's how it's gonna go :D :D :D :D :D

[C.C. Marx]

I. Love. That. we can stop at a cupcake store and buy one of everything with the money we will have leftover for going cheap on the cat sitters

[Becca Bishop]

You're ingenious!!! I'm - wow. My mom just sat on my cat. Poor baby. Anyways...I'm so excited!!!! We should make up a secret code so we can communicate our illegal deeds so that no one can understand them and turn us in!!!

[C.C. Marx]

Agree what do u suggest, clicking noises or nonsense words?!??!

[Becca Bishop]

CLICKING NOISES, GESTURES AND GRUNTING!!!! OH MY GOSH THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[C.C. Marx]

Grunting, must we? imagine the strange thing people will say...ahh im always up for looking strange maybe we should wear matching outfits lol

[Becca Bishop]

UH UH UH!! OOGA *click click scratch* Grrrrlugh!!! :D

Translated to: Heck yeah!! Don't worry, I know from experience that you get used to the weird looks :D

Translation brought to you by: Grunting and Clicking: The New Frontier

[C.C. Marx]

I love it you cant better that right there, good stuff. But seriously matching outfits that would be a win

[Becca Bishop]

As long as we get to wear black top hats and neon green shoes then I'm great with matching outfits!!! We're going to be the scariest pie throwing weirdos to ever drive a stalker van!!!

[C.C. Marx]

yes with our grunting clicking language and all and we mind as well sing Christmas carols in Swedish to up the weird

[Becca Bishop]

Whoa!!! You know how to speak Swedish???!! I'm afraid that might be a little past my brain capabilities. I could teach you how to speak Beccanese if you wanted. That's always fun to learn.

[C.C. Marx]

Deal because the sweidsh I know consists of grandmother and hello, my great grandmother was very swedish

[Becca Bishop]

lol ;P That's ok...what little Swedish I think I might know comes from the Swedish chef from The Muppet Show. That's very embarrassing :D

[C.C. Marx]

Haha that's ok it is a very educational show I learned never that pigs and frogs can find love from that show

[Becca Bishop]

Yeah! I'm glad someone else understand that pigs and frogs just aren't meant to be together....

[C.C. Marx]

Its just unnatural and weird.....but everything we just talked about is completely and utterly normal

[Becca Bishop]

Amen :P

[C.C. Marx]

amen?!?! have I rendered the great Becca speechless? Score one for me

[Becca Bishop]

Yea verily!

[C.C. Marx]

I was thinking something, when the odd child is born, should we let it grow up with the parents it take it to raise in the true ways of the "odd" :P

[Becca Bishop]

WHOA!!! MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY!!! EVERYONE RUN FOR COVER!!!! C.C. is THINKING!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In answer to your thought: that odd child should definitely not be left to the whims and rules of its not odd parents. We need to intervene and save that poor kid!!!!

[C.C. Marx]

Haha its something I never tried and figured I'd give it a shot. I got a massive headache afterwards lol and that's what I was thinking maybe we should start a boarding school for these children

[Becca Bishop]

Will this boarding school by chance be disguised as a cupcake/candy store? I think I could live with that :D And will I get to teach the class on sleeping properly?? Ooh! And the one on math? I've already got my first lesson planned out...Math: you're never going to use a majority of the stuff you learn in here. As long as you know how to add, divide, subtract, multiply and do percentages you're good. CLASS DISMISSED!!!!

Ahhhh...I'd be a great teacher :)

[C.C. Marx]

Cupcake/candy store sounds amazing to me haa feel free teach math becuz lord knows I hate it! You should also teach English/writing/poetry and I will teach history....Me: You will not be learning USA or world history here. Nope, becuz the world is soon to be taken over by me and Becca with our top-rate boarding schools (yes soon to be schools) so therefore you will learn about us instead.

[Becca Bishop]

Oh my gosh!!!! You're definitely in charge of history!!!! We'll need to get someone for science cause I'm hopeless in that aspect...something about it just goes over the top of my head. Where's our school going to be located? I was thinking somewhere cool and different like the bottom of the ocean or maybe inside a glacier....

[C.C. Marx]

how out both??? the glacier can be abvoe the spot on the ocean and it can be a high school and the other one can br grades K-8 and yes we need to find someone for that, science is not my subject

[Becca Bishop]

Deal!!! I'll start getting the paperwork ready :D Oooh!!! And I'll make sandwiches!!!

[C.C. Marx]

I will get some coffee and munchkins, this could take a while ........would u rather mountain dew? Red bull maybe? What munckins do u fancy

[Marie Anzalone]

This made me smile today, and want to reach out to the girl who has no friends, supposedly... but if I look below, I think you exaggerate a bit :-) I love the moose. The moose made me laugh. That was truly an original. I have worked with animals my whole life and have never thought of owning a moose. Now it will be all I think about. Thank you for that.

[Becca Bishop]

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!! You've never thought of owning a moose???!!!! EVER???!!! That's gonna be the first thing I do when I get all the right permits and then you can come over and say hi to Larry. Did you know a moose once bit my sister??? :P Hahaha...Monty Python moment right there :D I'm glad you smiled. Between you and me, I think I might 'scare' most people so I'm glad you laughed instead :D :D Thank you for the review and for reaching out :D :D :D

[Marie Anzalone]

"No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse
with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given
her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and
star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo
Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst
Nordfink"...

Oh I got the reference all right. One of my favofrite movies of all time.

I have been bitten by horses, dogs, cats, hamsters, foxes, flamingos, rats, mice, cardinals, lovers, cows, deer, ducks, blue jays, turtles, sankes, and pencils. But not yet by a moose. I have also owned and kept about 1/2 of those in the list above, but have not yet even so much as touched a real live moose. Alas my life is sooooo incomplete.

Don't worry about scaring others. Some of us were not created to follow crowds. Keep in touch... I want to meet Larry when I am back in the States traveling one day.

[Becca Bishop]

OH MY GOSH!!!! YOU'RE THE MOST FREAKING AMAZING PERSON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!! *SQUEAL!!!*
Bitten by a pencil???? Oh you poor, poor thing :(
I saw a real live moose once at my first year of girls camp :D A female and her baby were just a few steps from our cabin, just standing there, watching us as we all acted like idiots, scrambling for cameras and shtuff. It was that moment that I tripped over my own feet and they went bounding away (the girls had just gotten their cameras out but hadn't taken a picture and they still haven't forgiven me) it was at that moment that I feel in love with moose :D

Larry and I will be waiting!!! :D :D :D :D :D

[Marie Anzalone]

LOL I am an animal scientist and an artist... the bites come with the territory I fear. I have been fortunate enough to see a moose in the wild while living in the Adirondacks, and then a calf in Connecticut. Amazing, breathtaking animals they are. You are right to be in love with them. I am GLAD you had the opportunity to see a pair of them so close up like that...it does not surprise me that you fell over in excitement because that really is a pretty special thing you witnessed. You will never forget it.

[Becca Bishop]

Fun! Well, not the bites but working with animals :D That must be so exciting!!! How long have you been an animal scientist? What's it like?
Tripping in excitement....well, you could say that. In actuality I'm sure it had more to do with my clumsiness than anything else :P

[Marie Anzalone]

I have worked professionally with animals for over 30 years... and got my undergrad degree in biotechnology/ animal science in 1998. My experience has been so varied, it is hard to say in one sitting what it has been like. I've worked on flu/ TB vaccine research; I've worked with compliance; I've been a field vet in the developing world; I've done wildlife rehabilitation; I've managed the veterinary office for a company that creates new strains of mice for research; I've taught courses in ecology and biology; and I've developed genetic and health and climate change adaptation programs for Central America. I'm currently starting a business to help poeple in Central America adapt their food systems to climate change pressure; and that includes how they raise and care and feed their animals. I'd definitely say every minute has been an adventure of some kind. There is not much I would change, looking back. Does that answer your questions?

[Becca Bishop]

It answers my question and then some :) Wow, you're amazing!!! I can't imagine even imagining to do those things, let alone going out and doing them :P :D

[Marie Anzalone]

"Don't be afraid to dream a little bigger, Darling"

[Tex]

I was shocked! yes Shocked! to see an about me list poem from Becca Bishop!

I thought oh god NO! not Becca too!
But I just couldn't help myself,
yes I had to see,
if my dear friend Becca Bishop
has succumbed to this disease.

So ever so slowly, not wanting anyone to see,
peeked at what she had done,
and what a relief, to finally see,
my dear Becca had not abandoned me.

She is still a poet! she has not jumped ship.
My relief is overwhelming.
For when the day comes,
when all has been lost,
and poets everywhere have resorted to making lists,

I know that beside me, there will stand,
Becca Bishop refusing to give in!

100/100 my dear, for fighting the fine fight!

[Becca Bishop]

Ok, that was possibly THE BEST review I've EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!!!! received. I was wondering what was up with all the about me lists; I guess it's just one of those fads. Thank goodness it's just lists instead of bell bottom pants and tall hair. Now that'd be scary.

I'm so glad I didn't disappoint ya :P And don't worry...when the day comes that poetry is no longer poetry my cats and I will help you throw tacos and small fish at all the fallen poets.
TOGETHER WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!!!! And all that jazz :P

Thanks for the review!!! :D :D

[Tex]

Love ya Becca :D

[Becca Bishop]

:D yay!!! That's one person :P I feel all special now :)

[Saichiro Wolftotem]

I really like it. It's a bit jarring at points, but the overall work is quite charming. You're an interesting fellow. My entry for this contest wasn't true at all. lol

[Becca Bishop]

Yeah, jarring (if you're using that the way I think you're using it, and I think you're using it the way I think you're using it). Ah, well. I'm not a poetic genius so I guess that's ok. As long as it didn't make you throw up or die from it horribleness then everything's good!!!! Right??? Right!!!???
Interesting again!!! I'm on a role! And now I've gotta go read yours :P Thanks for the lovely review!!! :) :) :D :D :D

[Frieda P]

Well, aren't you an interesting character, nice to meet ya. ;-)

Delightful read.

[Becca Bishop]

Man, I wish I was as interesting as some of the people on here. I'm trying though :P Thanks for the compliment and the review :) :D :D :D :D

[Frieda P]

You made it interesting, you put some soul and character into this work, the other's I've read are downright boring.

[Becca Bishop]

Awww :D :D :D Thank you!!!

[Frieda P]

welcome ;-)

[Kupendwa]

This is so wonderful! Truth or tale, I love it either way. The 4th and 8th stanzas are my favorites. You have done a fantastic job!(:

[Becca Bishop]

:P Thank you very much!!!! The aliens in my room thank you very too. Man, I wish everyone would do one of these!!! I feel a tiny bit stupid reading over it. Oh well :D :D :D Thanks again!!!!!