All Alone

I found this in my diary from when i was younger and being bullyed looking back on it i felt realy alone and like a loner

All alone in darkness deep

Upon the memories through shalt weep

Too sick to eat too sad to sleep

In darkness so deep, cold, complete

 

Upon thy past thou shalt mourn

From silver star to gold dawn

In a mind of ruby rose with razor thorn

A mind as bright and cold as winter dawn

 

Summer is upon thee

Yet frost still stings thy skin

Why is thy voice co sharp?

Thou art here in person

But thy soul hath fled within

 

Why dose ice still plague thee here in a house

Of walls wearing thin?

But wait, the answer doth appear

This house is afire with sin

Reviews

[~Sarah~ Idríel T..]

Awesome!

[Dahlia Phoenix]

"Upon thy past thou shalt mourn
From silver star to gold dawn
In a mind of ruby rose with razor thorn
A mind as bright and cold as winter dawn"

Your language for this piece is promising and conveys stronger emotions. A powerful piece indeed.

[joshua deathdealer]

Very enchanting indeed...xx

[Enigma]

Bullying is difficult to deal with. I have never experienced it so I cannot relate. Nevertheless, the poem was emotional and the rhymes were good.

[((Teenage_Poet_Loser))]

i am really bad at doing reviews... for some reason i dont know... only found one spelling error... there is a co that i think should be so.. i dont know =]... but i really enjoyed the read... it had this old feel to it with the old english words but a modern message... i really enjoyed it =] good job!

[-Scribe in Style-]

Good use of language

[shoaib]

awesome writing here your words are powerful

[Winters_Lost_Walk]

Very nice poem =)
The old English words are brilliantly placed.

I love it =] Can't wait to read more of your writings!