Chinaski

Solace wraps my veins
    Round my eyes
Pale and withered
    I breathe real slow
trying to let the noose go
    Tripping on
The light
    Reflecting from your iris
Core
    Brown and slippery
Pooling round my soul
    Like a falling dream
From the cliffs of hazel bliss
    I hear you sing
Shal la la la
    Sha la la la
Falling stars
    Burn my skin
Whipping with the wind
    of my descent
Wondering if I will meet Adonis
    Or a black eyed lady
with a serpent smile
    Zooming by the miles
Say hello
    And I cry oooooh noooo
Ive got the burn
    from the fallout
Just like Chinaski
Choking on the pulp
    That buried his bones
One blackout night
    Writing his
    ego tales
Creating this mudslide
    Looking for some kind of company
And then I realize
    I am just laying on the floor
Looking round
    For some kind of love
To give me a ride into town
    Singing
Sha la la la
    Sha la la la

 

 

Reviews

[Samith Pich]

I had a quick read of your last three poems John and I am seeing an 'evolution' to steel your title lol. In my own preferance I find this one the most strong, complete and perhaps because I found it easier to get into. It does seem you are exploring some darker themes and I appreciate it's not in the usual Cosmoploitain girlie angest way - but a reall exploration of looking over the edge and the madness that almost involitarily swarms in our heads.

I like how absolution or redemption is still around or possible :
'Looking round
For some kind of love
To give me a ride into town' & ' Tripping on
The light
Reflecting from your iris'.

but your focus is on the nitty gritty - and it IS all that! lol

I like the singing - it's neither cutesy or reminding of nursery rhyme - it's contemporary.

thanks for sharing

[Lorna Hutchison]

I like this, and I can't put my finiger on just what it is I like! Good Beat kinda tone. I don't know, it just leaves me feeling...sad...but nice. Good work. Will keep my eye on your page!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Very dark and scary places you have gone with this.

[Mike; The Lone Maverick]

Hello John, I didn't know you had a writer's cafe page. Well, I do like the childish singing in the poem. Dark, yet the singing indicates some sort of pathway out.

[Jenny Davis]

Very beat like *snap-snap*....as always, very sharp images! Sad ending though, kinda sorta :)