LOST IN MY MIND

Just pondering.....

Lost in my mind

Raging, crying with no peace to find

 

My thoughts are like the echos of the tide crashings

My heavy heart feels like it took 100 leather lashings

 

Scream no I cant do that

I feel like Im banging my head against brick wall, but come to my senses fast and realize its just a soft mat

 

Sighs of oh my oh my

Gosh damit that is my little guy!

 

The thought often crosses my mind

If I took my own life  to be with him again would I get fined?

 

Not an option as suicide is a forbidden sin

For when its my time the beautiful heavens above will not let me in

He whispers in my ear, sister stay strong

Thats how you win

 

I ask the big man upstairs

How he can take someone from me and still claims he cares?

 

To this day I will never understand

How ones pain is part of his grand plan

 

BIIKAY-

Reviews

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

that last line........is a huge question that so many of us find ourselves asking. When I lost my husband in 2008 you better believe I questioned how his murder could possibly be part of a grand master plan. Things like this can change us forever.

[BIIKAY]

@neva- Im so sorry, no matter how much time has gone by the pain will always be felt by the ones left behind. I hope you have found ways to cope...I havnt currently but im sure down the road I will. I just dont get it..Im sorry for your loss sweety :(

[Coyote Poetry]

Somethings we will never understand. Some lost cannot leave us. Your poem is the question of many. Pain is a part of life. Maybe the pain will insure we won't forget the things and people we miss. This is very good poetry. Open the door to sadness and thoughts. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Tree]

You tackle an incredibly important philosophical question here. There are many theories, but none seem to satisfy us, especially after a loss... What works best for me is that maybe right now we're not meant to completely understand; trapped in these flesh and blood bodies, with all our flesh and blood complexities; love, hate, ego, hunger, thirst–––desire.. Just too much going on, to see the truth. Think of an ant climbing through the blade's of grass . . . . he is completely unaware of Your Truth, of your existance. Your truth is just a darkness to it––––an eclipse; spirtualy free though, imagine what then we'll be able to perceive..

[BIIKAY]

wow thats deep...there are many theories but non seem to satisfy us,,,,,awsome!

[zainul]

You have found yourself again in this awesome poem.
Many questions remain to be answered for infinite time.
Despite your question posted at the ending,you have a strong will to avoid suicide considering it as an act of sin.
I adore your wonderful approach to cope with irreparable loss.

[BIIKAY]

AWWW THANK YOUUU!!

[zainul]

You are always welcome.
Let's have patience.
Let's enjoy the beauty of the world as long as possible.

[Rtrt]

I'm sorry for your pain. Just a thought if everything was skipping and rainbows would we ever truly feel? Is it sometimes the pain that makes us appreciate the prize? I know what you mean and I feel that way at times. I believe in God. The way I see it is if He truly exists, and the small amount of the brain we use. He created all of us, everything around us, and our emotions. His vision, His plan is going to be extremely difficult for us to ever comprehend. Thanks for sharing your feelings, Keep Smiling

[BIIKAY]

R mascenik_- thanks for good point. I am a very positive person,,this tragedy just threw me off. Its amazing that us humans have to go through such a roller coaster in life... I def get your point. Thanks for sharing

[Jolie Blossom]

Probably your best one yet. I love how much writing can explain our thoughts, even of we don't understand why it happens. I hope one day it won't hurt as much but it is true that healing sometimes takes a lifetime. Love u so much sweetie!!