Like a hundered meter dash

Like a hundered meter dash, my tears never ran so fast.

I would do anything to make this love last.

 

I give you my all, beyond my best.

you'll have to see for the rest.

 

I try not to do anything wrong,

to make you think we don't belong.

 

But lately I seem to be messing up so much,

and you start to think all of this was a rush.

 

I apoloize and promise to be good,

but you don't think I ever could.

 

I worry if you find someone else,

if she'll replace me.

 

I'll be here through anything and everything.

Because like a hundered meter dash, my heart never beated so fast.

Reviews

[Rossen]

I relate to this inner voice, this poem is pure and smooth.
The rush of insecurity provoked by fragile love. Liked the rhyme scheme too.

[ColorblindMartian.]

I felt like this poem just sucked me in, good job and really good flow.

[Sydney Evans]

This is really good Beth, the rhyme scheme just doesnt work with me for some reason, I love your words tho. (: it's very nice..

This poem is really good and it sounds so nice just usually that scheme is blah to me but this came out nice.

The nicest of the three of your writes that I have read so far .... this one is beautiful , just one thing , you were following a perfect rhyming pattern all throughout the poem , you could have done that for the last two couplets as well ..

for example

I worry if you find someone else,
if she'll replace me.

can be rewritten as

If you find someone else , with whom you could be
I worry , if she'll replace me

and the last two lines can be written as

Through anything and everything ; I'll be here , I must ,
Because like a hundered meter dash, my heart never beated so fast.

[Q'ANIL]

What can I say about this piece. I have to say it does play at the heart strings because love is such a difficult emotion and something we all truly never completely understand...I mean the workings of love. I understand every bit of the emotion that runs freely down the page and it really did get me involved, so you are very talented. I know what it's like to feel your heart beating as fast as a hundred meter dash so it spoke to me as well. An amazingly good write. well done