Libertine Lover

Libertine Lover

A Poem by Elizabeth

you say I am beautiful
and I hate you

perverse and twisted half truths
rolling off your forked tongue

I see you for what you are
I see what you see

a deluge of sick images
playing in your mind

I will not be your conquest in an alley
or breathe into your ear
and let you pull my hair

I will not cure your every ill
with my touch
or lie and make a man
of the filth that stands before me

I loathe you
I will not be your saving grace
or be left in the dark
after satisfying your fantasy

I am not beautiful
and I will never be yours

© 2011 Elizabeth



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this is good. the "muse" suddenly realizing she's merely an object, usually of perverse drives - and the awareness sickens her. This almost has the tone of "being beautiful is a curse" but it gets saved by the de-idealizing of herself as the cure or conquest climaxing (excuse the pun) with the line "I am not beautiful" and the following feminist proclamation "I will never be yours" - but she is specifically adressing "dirty old men" - not young handsome suitors, or geniuses, so maybe a part two is in order lol actually, on second thought, I think a sympathic poem from the perspective of the "perv" would be more interesting...

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

People, not just males, are dogs. It's in our nature to be so. Evolution may have evolved our frontal lobe, but it sure as hell hasn't lessened the intensities of sexual drives. That being said, we all choose to do, to say, and to be. Nothing is done without the choice of it.

I presume you wrote this due to the advancements of a dog... and one of the great benefits of having any amount of darkness in our lives is it makes for raw and wonderful writing material :)

The sixth stanza is by far the most powerful. If I were you I would use that stanza and expand on it. Blow those few words into a poem all its own. Just a suggestion :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


Elizabeth

2 Years Ago

I appreciate your feedback. I like that stanza, as well.
I don't have to tell you how good of a writer you are, that is obvious!Loved it!

Posted 2 Years Ago


Congratulations.
Before writing, I read each of the reviews and
They all say pretty much what I had in mind.
It is so refreshing to have a girl call a sleaze a
sleaze, particulary when he deserves it so well.
You told him good !
Besides getting him off your back you made a
lot of people proud of you .
Hugs and kisses for a REAL GIRL.
Thank you,
-----= Eagle Cruagh


Posted 5 Years Ago


I think you're beautiful just for telling this lascivious jerk what you think. It's better than he deserves

Posted 5 Years Ago


Elizabeth

5 Years Ago

Right on :)
Your amazing at putting across character here. Really good!

Posted 6 Years Ago


may i ask what LIBERTINE means?
and how it relates to the poem

maybe it'll help me understand why this is so amazing

Posted 6 Years Ago


I just had this experience, strangely enough. Its amazing how you can be willing to give heart and soul to another person but they can't see through their own selfish vanity. I love your work so much!

Posted 6 Years Ago


what a biting and slashing poem. the ending's my favorite

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


this poem makes me laugh for joy, too.
such rediculous honesty.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on June 15, 2010
Last Updated on June 8, 2011
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Author

Elizabeth
Elizabeth

Wonderland, TN



About
I am Alice through the looking glass...I mix my metaphors with barbiturates. I take my mania with a glass of milk and I rarely look before crossing the street. Walk a mile in my mary janes, friend. .. more..

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