I hate you...

I hate you...

A Poem by Elizabeth
"

For all the liars, perverts, and sick old men. This one goes out to you.

"
Previous Version
This is a previous version of I hate you....



You say I am beautiful

and I hate you

I hate you for the way you covet me

Perverse and twisted half truths come rolling off your forked tongue

I see you for what you are

I see what you see
A deluge of sick images playing in your mind

I will not be your conquest in an alley
I will not breathe into your ear and let you pull my hair

I will not cure your every ill with my touch
I will not lie and make a man out of the filth that stands before me

I loathe you
I will not be your saving grace

I will not be left in the dark after satisfying your fantasy

I am not beautiful
And I will never be yours

© 2010 Elizabeth




Featured Review

this is good. the "muse" suddenly realizing she's merely an object, usually of perverse drives - and the awareness sickens her. This almost has the tone of "being beautiful is a curse" but it gets saved by the de-idealizing of herself as the cure or conquest climaxing (excuse the pun) with the line "I am not beautiful" and the following feminist proclamation "I will never be yours" - but she is specifically adressing "dirty old men" - not young handsome suitors, or geniuses, so maybe a part two is in order lol actually, on second thought, I think a sympathic poem from the perspective of the "perv" would be more interesting...

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

People, not just males, are dogs. It's in our nature to be so. Evolution may have evolved our frontal lobe, but it sure as hell hasn't lessened the intensities of sexual drives. That being said, we all choose to do, to say, and to be. Nothing is done without the choice of it.

I presume you wrote this due to the advancements of a dog... and one of the great benefits of having any amount of darkness in our lives is it makes for raw and wonderful writing material :)

The sixth stanza is by far the most powerful. If I were you I would use that stanza and expand on it. Blow those few words into a poem all its own. Just a suggestion :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Elizabeth

8 Years Ago

I appreciate your feedback. I like that stanza, as well.
I don't have to tell you how good of a writer you are, that is obvious!Loved it!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Congratulations.
Before writing, I read each of the reviews and
They all say pretty much what I had in mind.
It is so refreshing to have a girl call a sleaze a
sleaze, particulary when he deserves it so well.
You told him good !
Besides getting him off your back you made a
lot of people proud of you .
Hugs and kisses for a REAL GIRL.
Thank you,
-----= Eagle Cruagh


Posted 11 Years Ago


I think you're beautiful just for telling this lascivious jerk what you think. It's better than he deserves

Posted 11 Years Ago


Elizabeth

11 Years Ago

Right on :)
Your amazing at putting across character here. Really good!

Posted 12 Years Ago


may i ask what LIBERTINE means?
and how it relates to the poem

maybe it'll help me understand why this is so amazing

Posted 12 Years Ago


I just had this experience, strangely enough. Its amazing how you can be willing to give heart and soul to another person but they can't see through their own selfish vanity. I love your work so much!

Posted 12 Years Ago


what a biting and slashing poem. the ending's my favorite

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


this poem makes me laugh for joy, too.
such rediculous honesty.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on June 15, 2010
Last Updated on November 7, 2010

Author

Elizabeth
Elizabeth

Wonderland, TN



About
I am Alice through the looking glass...I mix my metaphors with barbiturates. I take my mania with a glass of milk and I rarely look before crossing the street. Walk a mile in my mary janes, friend. .. more..

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Bones Bones

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