Walking through life..UNTOUCHED

Walking through life..UNTOUCHED

A Poem by Bhavya Kaushik

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walking through this LIFE…. "UNTOUCHED"….

 

 

I just stood alone with this crowd….

And decided to walk through the same streets…

The only one that I’ve ever known…

I looked back upon my past…..

And got scared from my scars…

But still I gathered myself…

And decided to walk through these streets…

All alone…..and along…

It wasn’t easy to start the journey….

But then I realized that it’s only me…

All alone …..

Walking through these streets….

Unnoticed and untouched by anyone….

May be coz no one knew any path like this….

Or may be they are too afraid too walk on it….

I again picked myself ….

And started to walk alone….and alone…

I got through smile, joy, laughter, tear and pain…

All along while walking on these same lanes….

Still I continued to walk….

Unnoticed and untouched by anyone….

All alone…..and along….

And to my fear,

I still found myself walking on these same streets…

Still I’ve a bundle of rising dreams….

Iam still walking with a bundle of rising dreams….

This street may lead to a dead end…..

But I got my destination much before……

As now I came too far to choose….

And still I found myself walking…..

And walking…..

Walking through this life….UNTOUCHED….

:)

 

 

 


© 2009 Bhavya Kaushik



Believe It Or Not Believe It Or Not
This is my first attempt at slam poetry, and I'm excited to film a performance of this piece over the coming day.

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A very good composition my friend! A reader can almost see a journey, an endless journey, all the hurdles of life and all. The journey of life, which is very well explained, is pretty tiring and endless and you have to walk through it all alone. But let me point out a few demerits as well.

First of all, the rhyming isn't very good, but it doesn't seem you intend to it anyway. I don't know whether it is meant to be this way (coz I find it very difficult to understand poetry lolzzzzzzzzz) is beautifully done then, but it still goes on with a few bumps. It does not go smooth.

Secondly, the description of a man completing or continuing the journey is not well explained. The reader has to put his extra head in function. It could have been a bit more descriptive.

All in all, It is a awsome composition and i'm very lucky to have a friend like you! Keep it up! ~KA~

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

wow..!it was so beautiful..!^_^

Posted 8 Years Ago


Wow! I loved it, so deep.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Wow! This is beautiful and so thoughtful.

Posted 9 Years Ago


It wasn't easy to start the journey.

But then I realized that it's only me

All alone ..

Walking through these streets.

Unnoticed and untouched by anyone.


It reminded me of a very great piece by Sir Robert frost.
But this one is different in it's own way and original too.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is a very mature write and I agree with you.
We must give in to the pains of the past nor the fears and uncertainty of the future. Very well written.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Deep and mature.
A great write!

Posted 9 Years Ago


I liked this one. This is really a mature write and the pic is also getting very well with the write.

Posted 9 Years Ago


A very very mature piece and I even loved this font.
I also just love the whole idea of this poem where you compare life to walking down an endless road, yet you mat come to a dead end, but really you have made it to your destination, you have lived and felt the wonders of life. And also reminded me of that song -"boulevard of broken dreamz"
Great write

Posted 9 Years Ago


wow man!! you are such a great and brilliant poet. I just loved this piece which I felt is a piece of personification. and the way you've described it, is really marvelous.
Yet, I agree that the reader need to put up his/her own mind while reading the piece, which even glorify the spice of the entire journey which you've mentioned it.
a superb piece and
my favorite lines in the piece are these--

""Still I continued to walk.

Unnoticed and untouched by anyone.

All alone..and along.

And to my fear,

I still found myself walking on these same streets

Still I've a bundle of rising dreams.

Iam still walking with a bundle of rising dreams.

This street may lead to a dead end..

But I got my destination much before

As now I came too far to choose.

And still I found myself walking.""


It often happens,if our journey is so beautiful, then we really don't care too much for the end...


Very very well written and a very mature piece. One of the best I've read here I should admit.




!!..Love..!!
.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I agree with kevin as the peom may not be so smooth, but as I said the words I felt this person jump out at me. a person just telling their story, of a life that has been a bit rough, but they have gotten through.
I also like your peom "lost" see this to be the makings of a great song. maybe this is because of my new love for lyrics, but either way your not really working rhyme scheme and simple lines with some repitition work beautifully when sung. But this is my opinion.
I also just love the whole idea of this peom where you compare life to walking down an endless road, yet you mat come to a dead end, but really you have made it to your destination, you have lived and felt the wonders of life. and as we walk we carry our dreams and hopes, heavy burdens at times but they keep us going. and so often we look back on our lives and just see how far we have come, and all we have experienced, then we look at ahead and wonder what is around the next bend.
nice write, I really enjoyed it! :)
well done.
~Jazlean

Posted 9 Years Ago



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12 Reviews
Added on February 9, 2008
Last Updated on January 8, 2009

Author

Bhavya Kaushik
Bhavya Kaushik

India



About
National bestselling author of the novel, The Other Side of the Bed. You can place an order here: tinyurl.com/tosotb (flipkart) or can download it on your kindle from here: tinyurl.com/tosotbamazon .. more..

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