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I would be good…

Once in everyone's life a time comes which breaks each and every part of us and then it depends upon every individual, whether to stick with that pain or to move on with those hard memories. The irony is that no matter whichever path we will choose it won't bring us back to our past. I know that I have moved on but I'm still living with my memories which won't leave me alone till the very end of my life and there is nothing more which I want from my god except that….

But somewhere in my heart I silently wish for my past to be my future. Often in silence I close my eyes to remember you and how much we were in love. Everytime when I think about you I feel myself more close to you and feel your presence here with me. I feel your soul with me everywhere I go….You are the first thought which comes in my mind at early morning and you are the only one which passes across my heart at night. You are still my companion in the walk of my life, you are its path and you are still my life's only destination. You are everywhere around me and within me…

People who say that they don't cry after the death of their loved ones are surely liars, there is just nothing worst in this world than to miss your love, it is just like missing yourself. Everytime whenever I see your photograph or cross your home or go to your tombstone, I cry….I cry a lot for you. No one on this world can miss you the way I do, your death have created such a vacuum in my life which is impossible to be filled again.

I would be a fake if I will say that I'm not sad, I'm surely sad… I'm sad like ocean shores empty of bathers, sad like the first leaf falling from an evergreen tree in the midst of autumn. I'm sad like a teardrop falling with inevitable pain, sad like a heart broken into thousand pieces. I'm sad like a person watching sunset hoping for the last ray of light to fall, sad like a wish which never got fulfilled. I'm sad like books with torn pages, sad like frozen lips trying to utter the last words of life. I'm sad like unfinished stories…. And where would I go with this much of sadness yet to live alone…

After when you left me, everyone thought that I will never come out of the shock. A lot of people used to come to me just to say things like – "Everything would be fine" or "Time will heal this wound" but still my wound remain unhealed….My friends tried their best to help me but nothing worked out. Then one day, I just sat with my pen to write and then continued to write. I don't know how or why but I began to feel good everytime after I write something. Now I have captured my sorrow and I won't allow it to flow like I did before….

Yesterday my best friend came to my home and there is just one thing which she said that I still remember, it was like – "Bhavya!  I don't know what but there was something missing in you from about more than a year and not only me but everyone thought that we will never have our Bhavya back but you know what! Today I can see that fire, that spark in your eyes again… I can see that spirit again in you…welcome back!"

Yet I know that I'm still not what I used to be but still atlast I'm happy and I have moved on…I have grown a lot throughout this year, as a person , as a writer and as an individual.

I have already learned a lot from this life and I have no complains from it. Since once in everyone's life a time comes which changes each and every part of us and then it depends upon every individual, whether to stick with that pain or to move on with those hard memories and I'm glad that I have finally moved on… ...