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Believe It Or Not Believe It Or Not
This is my first attempt at slam poetry, and I'm excited to film a performance of this piece over the coming day.
Friend

Friend

A Poem by Hurry

"I love you" I said. A cliche between us.
An act of love for each other - forgone.
My heart is nothing but wounds and callus.
The thought of us being together - close to none.
"A friend in need is a friend indeed".
Indeed I need you but a friend I will only be.
The fact that you live is my only creed.
"I love you too" she said - misapprehended.

© 2017 Hurry



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Featured Review

This is a really strong poem about the harder parts in a relationship. The words you use are really great for describing your emotions.
One thing; the last line not rhyming really gives a bitter taste at the end. On its own it would be great, but because the rest of the poem is in rhymes, it feels a little out of place. If that's the kind of thing you went for than great job, but if not, consider finding a rhyme ("Indeed I need you, but at a friend this relationship ended.", fer'instance)
Keep up the great work! These caffeinated love songs are wonderful:)

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hurry

10 Months Ago

THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!



Reviews

Friends often don't say it enough... But seems like there is romance here too

Posted 1 Month Ago


It's interesting that you twist the aphorism around "a friend in need is a friend indeed". You claim to need her, but it is you who asserts that you are the friend to her. I'm unclear who is holding the other at the distance. Which one of you wants more than friendship but cannot convince the other. Or maybe both of you want more but neither of you can overcome inner obstacles. The poem invites a lot of reflection, and invites the reader into his own memory of similar experiences.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Hurry

10 Months Ago

Thank you soo much!!!!
This is a really strong poem about the harder parts in a relationship. The words you use are really great for describing your emotions.
One thing; the last line not rhyming really gives a bitter taste at the end. On its own it would be great, but because the rest of the poem is in rhymes, it feels a little out of place. If that's the kind of thing you went for than great job, but if not, consider finding a rhyme ("Indeed I need you, but at a friend this relationship ended.", fer'instance)
Keep up the great work! These caffeinated love songs are wonderful:)

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hurry

10 Months Ago

THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!
I do understand this poem. When neither believe in love. Some love is better than none. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 10 Months Ago


Hurry

10 Months Ago

THANK YOU!!!
Coyote Poetry

10 Months Ago

You are welcome.

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4 Reviews
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Added on December 21, 2016
Last Updated on August 27, 2017

Author

Hurry
Hurry

Philippines



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I'm truly very grateful. And i always will be. more..

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