Question for a Murderer

Question for a Murderer

A Poem by Hurry
"

Do you feel better now?

"

A tool of honed iron, pierce through delicate life.

Her visions of darkness and misery ended recklessly swift.

A daisy with no petals and eager for affection

Pulled out from concrete floor.

 

The six inch b*****d catches sunlight

Her life flashes before her eyes.

She asks for mercy and received from the heavenly father

For an angel has finally returned to paradise.

 

Is the measure of a man found in vigorousness  

Or found in the actions that he speak?

Is the measure of a man found in gentleness

Or found in the words of his hands?

 

Does the rusty pillars smell just like before?

You have wasted another dauntless soul.

But why shiver of fear for something you carelessly

Give to the flowers you've taken?

 

As you walk towards a chair

As you take the attention of an audience

You have not seen for a long time,

Tell me, do you feel better now?


© 2017 Hurry



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Featured Review

A truely great poem. I really like the metaphors for both death and the knife. The comparison between the death of the vitim and the death of the killer is written beautifully, as is the risen question of a murderer's morals and self-justifications.
Keep up the amazing work!

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A truely great poem. I really like the metaphors for both death and the knife. The comparison between the death of the vitim and the death of the killer is written beautifully, as is the risen question of a murderer's morals and self-justifications.
Keep up the amazing work!

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Powerful and worthwhile poetry.
"Is the measure of a man found in vigorousness
Or found in the actions that he speak?
Is the measure of a man found in gentleness
Or found in the words of his hands?"
The above lines. I do believe is the weight of a man's life. Death row thoughts would be deadly one's. Seek forgiveness and accept deeds done? Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote



Posted 11 Months Ago


I felt like I loved this idea and it has so much potential that I wanted more from it. I think the mind of murderer is quite interesting and strange. I loved the chilling question of does taking another life make you feel better. It's cool as is. My favorite lines were the last line in the third stanza and the fourth stanza. I think you should take out the cliches like "her life flashes before her eyes" or another "[angel gone to heaven]" type deal or if you have them, expand on them to remove the cliche resonance they emit. You could also do more by changing some of the words. For example instead of "taken" why not use "crushed" to continue the symbolism of the girls as flowers? Or use "steal" instead of "take" in the last stanza?

Interesting write.

-Jazz



Posted 11 Months Ago


Hurry

11 Months Ago

Thank you very much!

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Added on January 7, 2017
Last Updated on August 27, 2017

Author

Hurry
Hurry

Philippines



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