Flirting with your ghost.

Haunting isn't just a word I know.

I've experienced the powerful 

persuasion of the dead.

The bones that rattle while they creep, 

tapping down the hallway,

scratching on the hardwood, 

sliding towards my bedroom, 

the clawing at the door.

A procession in gusts of wind 

and whispers and goosebumps,

as the sheets rise and fall, 

shoved by my chest, near panting, 

pretending, eyes forced shut, 

that what I can't see won't hurt me.

They prod with sharp points. 

An unbearable itch, shoved 

in the ribs, the chest, the eyes, 

anything vital to breathing, 

to seeing, the elements lost 

to the lost, the trapped and tortured 

souls, the murdered, the wayward, 

the martyrs, the monsters, 

they all need a second chance. 

And yet...

I can hear her lost in the darkness 

of the long, empty hallway downstairs,

creeping up the creaky stairs, 

old wood shouting warnings into the silence.

One deliberate step after the next, 

I fear she's searching for me.

I've heard it is unwise to invite a ghost into the bedroom, 

but she's looking through the door at me

like she's finally made it home.

And I'm looking back.

Author's Note

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Reviews

[MagicAl]

Oh, dark and slightly creepy write, but amazing nonetheless..good work.. :)

[Meliss@k]

Morbid, mysterious, romantic, creepy... Can't say that you read poems like this every day! :)

[MaliKate]

Hello there, Brett!

I have to say, I've been clicking on random profiles trying to find writers of books rather than poems, but the name of this one intrigued me so I had to take a look.

Your description on your first three stanzas are perfect. I haven't really got anything that I feel the need to constructively criticise for them.

Your final stanza, however, I feel takes a certain turn that I'm not quite sure that I'm comfortable with.

"They poke and prowl and sink their teeth into my leg at night."

Is there a relevant point in this that connects to the ghost? Exactly who is the ghost? Judging by the fact that she (or he, no judgement) receives your attention indicates something to me that she might have been a love of yours, a girlfriend perhaps; or a wife or lover.

Did she pass away and this is your metaphorical attachment to her? That was the impression I got before and after the line "sink their teeth into my leg". I would have understood "my third leg" a little more, as an unjustified haunting of the past spurred on by guilt or something, haha.

Besides that line, I felt for the story. I interpreted it in a way that might have been different to how you intended, or thought as you wrote it, but every interpretation can be different. That's the beauty of poetry; there should be no one way to interpret a message otherwise it won't reach the reader. I applaude this.

Whether she passed away and you feel this supernatural power of her presence eating away at you, or she's metaphorically dead to you but you imagine her still here, unwanted images of her that won't leave your head, I feel what I think you might have felt. That inability to let it go. That attraction that is still there even after death (or tragic break up - whichever).

As I found nothing that needed correction, I'll end it with that.

I enjoyed it, especially the captivation of the name that made me want to read it in the first place.

- Mali

[MaliKate]

Oh, and I by no means at all mean any of these questions that I've asked should be answered in the poem. I'm asking them personally, so don't think that I want you to change a thing.

It's your poem; your story. Nothing that can be edited.

[Brett Moore]

Thank you for the kind words! I revised the last stanza to be a little more in line with the original idea. Let me know what you think!? And thank you for the constructive criticism. I need it.

[MaliKate]

THAT! Now THAT made me half weep.

"One deliberate step after the next, she's searching for me."

It is now so perfect. It flows beautifully, touched on with something enigmatic and different; haunting!

"She's searching for me" has the same impact on me that "I still feel her" from Jonny Craig's lyrics has. It's haunting and chilling. I absolutely love it.

The good thing to remember is that when creating poetry that is verbally depicted, it's best to omit the physicalities as much as possible. So you need to describe the scene, rather than telling us precisely what happened to a body part or anything along that line. You know?

Take a look at your other works and see if you've repeated this. It's as good a thing to notice things in your work as it is for others to.

[Brett Moore]

Did you like the Isles and Glaciers album?

[MaliKate]

How could I not? Jonny Craig, Craig Owen and Vic Fuentes? So little could top that.

[Brett Moore]

The kid from Woe is me (Tyler Carter?), is making a run at Johnny Craig in my opinion. His voice is nice. However, Johnny still has the man growl. Maybe in a few years, kid. Haha

[MaliKate]

I was going to wait for your reply before I would say that Tyler Carter was the only one who would be able to top that. The four of them would have been unstoppable. And yeah, Tyler is a kid in comparison but his voice ranges so brilliantly that there's no way he can't be given credit. I love him, especially in "Fame Over Demise" cover. I only like him in Woe, Is Me.

[Quill~]

Haunting illusions indeed! (sinking their teeth into your leg at night is not fun) lol
I get an eerie taunting vibe from this piece. I believe if you ignore ghosts then they will leave you alone. Maybe flirting is not a good idea (I'm just sayin') :D
Intriguing insight on this ghostly experience. :)