If my memory serves me

If my memory serves me

A Poem by Brett Moore

I remember a chipped concrete causeway, 
baron but for beggars and trash, 
with lurching walls pressed apart 
by the devil’s outstretched arms,
glowing in the dim shadows of a street lamp.
And I, just a child, played hide- and-seek 
with the drug addicts and pedophiles,
Knowing they could never hurt me.
He would do the deed himself.

It’s hard to sleep in the alleyway, 
where the roaches click their tune,
Under the dumpster divers 
fighting for scraps of rotted food 
in their rotted clothes; with their rotted hearts 
drowning in dirt and yesterdays
Subject to the most primal instinct, 
To kill a man for food is to live 
in the hands of god, 
under the devil’s watchful eyes
in the alley way.

© 2014 Brett Moore



Author's Note

Brett Moore
Pic courtesy of Whit @ buryme.webs.com

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Reviews

You grow up quick or you get dead quick on the streets.
Love the image of the devil holding the walls apart - reminded me of the garbage disposal scene in Star Wars.
I think the devils eyes might have been sodium street lamps - orange and glowing which would certainly be freaky is sleeping rough for the first time.
Good one Brett. Unique subject matter. I like that.

Posted 9 Months Ago


Vivid and dirty.
I could smell the devil's breath and see his eyes greedy for more suffering.
I'm not sure I like how the line about living "in the hand of god". I know what your saying here but it feels like you have something more pointed to say to this god or to God directly.
I don't know, it just felt out of place with the write the way it was said here.
Strong write on my book.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Kinda dirty and creepy. I think I'm gonna take a shower now.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Brett Moore

4 Years Ago

Watch out for the thing behind the curtain...
Wow, this is incredibly deep and poignant (why am I always starting my reviews to you with "wow"? I do know other words...) I love the dark, stark grittiness of this one. There is a raw, emotional energy here that just begs one to look beneath and between the lines; to delve a little deeper than the surface reading, as it were.

And I, just a child, played hide and seek
with the drug addicts and pedophiles,
Knowing they could never hurt me.

These are strong lines, my friend. Amazing.

Only little suggestion...the last two lines:

Could "in the hands of god, Under the devil's watchful eyes" be split into two lines?

Overall, another amazing read.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Brett Moore

4 Years Ago

Done and Done. I have been meaning to do that. I fixed that in my draft here at home.
Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

4 Years Ago

:)
I love the usage of words in this poem, very deep and emotional . great job

Posted 4 Years Ago


Brett Moore

4 Years Ago

Thank you!
I get a dark and dangerous vibe from this write, demons tend to lurk in the alley way (especially at night). You take the reader on a tour of something sinister. Well penned.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Brett Moore

4 Years Ago

You should have seen the place that spawned this idea.

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Added on May 13, 2013
Last Updated on January 8, 2014

Author

Brett Moore
Brett Moore

Dallas, TX



About
Positive outlook makes positive outcomes...most of the time. So smile, laugh, love and enjoy life. Contrary to that mantra, these are my grumblings, the rocks in my shoes or questions I needed to ask. more..

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A Dream A Dream

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