A Nonexistent Heart

- For Chloe's Death Comes Calling contest

Fine mists cover everything now

All I touch, all I see

Even my emotions seem dreamlike

Hovering on the brink of reality

Until I see you

Walking with quick steps

head down against the wind

In the doorway of our café

you stop, look ‘round

When your eyes light up

that smile breaks upon your face

I think you’ve seen me

as impossible as it could be

For a second, the fog lifts

Clarity returns to my world

With it I see the truth

The one I had denied

As she stops before you

you caress her cheek

touch your lips to hers

That emotion I’d felt missing

the one I’d yearned to see

reflected in your azure eyes

now shines brighter than the sun

Yet not for me, no never for me

No tears will fall nor heart break

for I am but a spirit now

Who gave up the next plane

choosing to remain with you

and now faces eternal oblivion

with the pain of a nonexistent heart

 

Reviews

[Antony]

I will call this the regretful ghost, this is both deep and haunting. to me it is like someone that made a choice at one time and lost because of it, who now looks from the spirit world to discover that it was all in vain, for the lover they wanted or thought they had, really never had true intentions to begin with. They thought they were seen, but in reality they weren't. Wow! I could keep going with this, but I won't. All I know is I had to read it several times to grasp my own interpretation of it. Very well done, Bright Eyes.
Antony

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

How did i miss this? It is so deep and yes, haunting .. i was not in a good place when i promoted the contest.. this is beautifully sad
Chloe
xoxo

[Adrian K. Smith]

This piece works well in regards to offering that cruel twist that we often find in trying to find our desires. It makes me think of a genie, ready to grant your every wish, yet ready to do so with such a twist. The twists are never kind, full of torment, and offering that eternal agony. Wanting not to leave the one you love, only to find they have moved on... a curse, enough to twist the mind, the soul - one could see the premise of a haunting taking form or perhaps the creation of a guardian angel; it would depend on the mindset and the mood of the reader...

[Norma J. Jessee]

Excellent Laura, We can fool the mind, but we can't fool the heart. The heart knew all along something was missing and tried to tell her but she prefered to believe the decieved mind. I've always felt their is one rule to love and one rule only. Listen to your heart.

This is hauntingly beautiful Laura, very well written.

Good luck in contest. Hope you win.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Ouch! Boy that really hurts. The hurt and longing really drip from this poem. This is far too real to not have some autobiographic overtones. This had to have come from somewhere in your past. You? A relative? A friend?

I hope that the ache is subsiding.

[Dezaraye]

This is so sad, Laura. Your words are haunting, as Antony said. You have such a great hold of imagery in all your work and this is no exception. You are a brilliant poetess.