Crush on a Christian Boy

I was not prepared to be moved by anything else but my adoration for a Christian boy I tried to get nearer to. Yet, I was.

Belief often leads to profundity,

disguised under nuance of pace

of interactions betwixt those of

this indomitable and muddled race.

I found my  heart longing for the hands of soft grace

but while clutching his palm, I dared not look at his face.

Preoccupied by rafter that reflected their voices,

I was too shy to lift my pine.

But nary a neighbor seemed at all bothered

by the muted tones of mine.

Pew by pew and rows by rows

of the body blossomed as one,

with deft baritones and muted tenors

beaming as they sung.

For most of the time, I must have forgotten

my hand was clutching at both

the man on my left and the man on my right:

brothers of both mother and holy ghost.

Adrift in delight, my fanciful feelings

that normally drove me near him

had vacated softly, while I wandered loftily,

leaving me strong in my skin.

Despite the tunes I had sung before,

just minutes before the morning,

and despite the plans I devised at the door

when he called me for such a joining,

I was free to rejoice as a child can give voice

to the flames that ignite within her.

Yet feeling drawn into my infinite skin,

for once comfortable in the temperature, 

I fell in love, hardly, with the man who adorned me,

but it was warming to feel him so bare.

But rather, I fell, with love in my throat

for the faith I found frolicking there.

Author's Note

Does the tone of adoration stand out? What do you think my adoration is for? What do you think of the setting? Can you tell I was there for a man I liked but realized I was much more taken by my surroundings? The first stanza is supposed to be a preface. Is it too blocky/ clumsy?