Terrorist?

Terrorist?

A Poem by V
"

for a competition using 4 random words from the dictionary

"

No one cares to know this ‘Oriental’

Despite her manner, it’s sweet and gentle

Her life now is lived in land of shadow

Voice disappearing, her eyes so shallow

 

Although she is covered, hiding is hard

Painfully living behind this façade

Why must she keep her secret at the gate?

Someone else’s elimination date…


© 2009 V



Author's Note

V
restored

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Perhaps it is a reminder that the contemporary definition of 'terrorism' is teetering on the edge of being an act of terrorism in itself; victimising innocent people, on the basis of colour, race or religion - or all three - not only degrinating them but insinuating guilt, where there is no guilt. Scapegoats for the greed and mis-management rife in a world, hurtling toward self-destruction.
The image of this woman, unable to be herself, is very poignant and remains in the mind's eye, long after the poem has been read.
It is interesting to see what four, randomly selected, words can create! A thought-provoking poem. Thank you for sharing it.
Diane

Posted 11 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

So honest and beautiful
I like it a lot
You have talent

Posted 2 Months Ago


This is pretty amazing for something threaded together from four random dictionary words (technically all words are dictionary words, so maybe that's a dumb sentence...I dunno...ah well).
I get that you used Oriental within quotations, to show that it's a term used by others rather than the narrator, and to remind readers of the verbal insult that this basically is; it emphasises the ignorance that exists around the topic of 'terrorism' and suspicison for many.
I can't tell if your subject actually IS a terrorist, the message of the poem being that she was driven to it by ignorant hate...or that she's not and the assumptions made by people who lack understanding are causing her to lose her own identity.

Very powerful couplet at the end:
"Why must she keep her secret at the gate?
Someone else's elimination date�"

Great work. I enjoyed reading and thinking about this.
Thanks for posting it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Perhaps it is a reminder that the contemporary definition of 'terrorism' is teetering on the edge of being an act of terrorism in itself; victimising innocent people, on the basis of colour, race or religion - or all three - not only degrinating them but insinuating guilt, where there is no guilt. Scapegoats for the greed and mis-management rife in a world, hurtling toward self-destruction.
The image of this woman, unable to be herself, is very poignant and remains in the mind's eye, long after the poem has been read.
It is interesting to see what four, randomly selected, words can create! A thought-provoking poem. Thank you for sharing it.
Diane

Posted 11 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Thought of terrorism of course.. oriental , food, furniture.. good use of this word to show how people can be.. A good use of the words, shadow, facade and date within this poem, good luck with the contest.

Chloe
xoxo

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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V
Thanks Cat for your review. You hit the nail on the head there a bit, which I am pleased about. 'Oriental' can be used to describe a native from the 'East' or Asia, but it is WAY out-dated and now adds a disrespectful tone when used... that is why I wrote the poem like this. I wanted to point out that she was being treated in a disrespectful way. I was worried that people wouldn't pick up on it, so I was pleased that you sort of did... but somehow you seemed to fail to see how it related to the rest of the poem... So, I think the poem may need some revising. Thank you ever so much for your input, it is great when someone says something that isn't all obliging.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I felt this was written with thought and sensitivity and very clever use of words, expecially if you just churned it out for a contest. I felt the use of the word 'oriental' was definately NOT insulting as you were simply being descriptive.
Perhaps your poem could use tweaking, but it's always interesting to see what we can write, on the spur of the moment. Nicely done, my friend.
- M


Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Yikes, didn't the dictionary tell you that "oriental" refers to OBJECTS, not people? Oriental is an insult when applied to a person. Having gotten that out of the way... I liked this piece, interesting... Good luck in the contest!

Posted 11 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Interesting use of using words from a dictionary and than incorporating it into
a poem on I assume that fateful day..............a woman hiding because of who she is,
but not necesscary she has done wrong.
Well thought out in plotting your chosen words.

Posted 11 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

The title gives thoughts of terrorism, so does the image and so does the poem. I can't understand the connection to dictionary at all apart from the four words. An interesting write. Good luck. Tai

Posted 11 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 13, 2009

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V
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