Help

i need help...

I love him. 

And yet I cry myself to sleep thinking about him. 

Us. 

Isn’t love suppose to be a happy thing? 

An amazing thing? 

Aren’t I suppose to have butterflies inhabit my entire body from the sound of his voice? 

They have died. 

Aren’t I suppose to have a smile painted on my face everytime I hear his name? 

The paint has washed away, 

And now all that’s left is a blank stare with tears sliding down my delicate cheeks. 

He has left me an empty body to which is so foreign. 

I’m numb. 

I wish he hadn’t left, 

But even more, 

I wish he hadn’t taken that part of me. 

The twinkle in my eye, 

The rosey in my cheeks, 

The unmeasurable curve of my smile. 

I want it all back. 

I need it back. 

My pillow’s drentched, 

so I’m all out of tears. 

Help.

Reviews

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I feel so bad for you. I know how guys are and I really don't like how guys treat us girls lately. If he really loves you he would try his hardest to show it. If he doesn't try to show it he doesn't love you enough. If he breaks your heart he is just being a jerk. I think this is emotional and powerful as well. This was a good write. Thank you for sharing. :)

[Chantel]

Powerful, emotional write...very, very good....

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime we may not know at the moment. When we try to love. In the end we will have memories and experiences. Some memories to create a smile when we are old and gray. A very sad poem. When we give all. The chance of pain and misery is wide open. A powerful poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[RDOriginal]

There is an enormous amount of pain and loss here and it doesn't seem particularly raw like so many similar poems where the writer has responded immediately to betrayal or breakup. This seems to be a much more considered piece as if time has passed and the healing process just won't start soon enough, if at all.

The narrator is clearly still hopelessly and pointlessly in love with the one who has left her and this makes the work seem that much more poignant. When she recalls how things were she still uses romantic images of the butterflies and the painted smile - even though they are dead and washed away respectively. This is sorrow, not bitterness or anger.

The poem dwindles away into desperation as the narrator recalls all the things she had and misses so desperately. It reflects the internal turmoil we often feel when our thoughts begin to spiral out of control and ending with the desperate plea for 'help' we can't help but feel our hearts go out to her.

[Augustus]

There is a terrible sorrow in these words...very emotional...exploring the ubiquitous theme of lost love...I was impressed by certain elements of the poem, like the phrases "butterflies inhabit my entire body" and "smile painted" and also the end "My pillow's drenched / so I'm all out of tears".... I think you have successfully blended sorrow with poetic expression in these lines...
Maybe somewhere in the middle, the effect was a bit subdued, but the end was poignant, thus elevating the poem from a cliched verse on lost love to something more...Nicely penned...

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

This was so sad,i wanted to lean across and wipe your tears and tell you that it is going to be okay..
I feel your structuring of words is good,you know how to get a grip on your emotions and put them as poetry.
It is amazing how at times love can change us in a very very irreversible way..it gets us to us and damages us from within and even if we strive to heal ourselves cause we have to,it is life etc etc..the wound always remains and when we are reminded of it even if years after we hurt just in the same away as we would hurt with a fresh wound.

[Marie Harrison]

Wow, this is quite a poem. They always leave us permanently changed people. That's what life is about. Great poem.

[A.Lee]

Very well written.... Unfortunately, love is a two-sided coin.... Sounds like you're feeling the not-so-good side of it.... Although pain gives birth to beautiful poetry, I'm sorry if you're having to go through that and although I only know you online if you'd ever like someone to vent to, feel free to message me.