Fading

Do you feel me?

When I touch your arm?

When I reach to pull you close?

Do you see me?

As I stand before you

Hands waving before your eyes?

Am I real?

These thoughts I’m thinking
Are they really even mine?

Am I whole?

Or is part of me missing?

Some little piece I cannot find?

Do you hear me?

When I speak your name?

When I tell you to hold me tight?

Or am I fading, slowly fading

In the warm, dark depth of the night?

Reviews

[Ashley Black]

ah i love this its very nice the rhetorical questions are work well together nice work

[Eleanor Jazz]

I recognize this feeling. I know it too well to turn myself into a moment of oblivion. But I think you are brave to write those feelings down. Good job.

[PoppySilver]

This is good, thinking can bring pleasant surprises lol xx

[Jenny Nelson]

You put your thoughts into words quite well. Like the effect of the nearly the whole piece being a question. Adds emphasis to the words.

[Devons]

This is quite powerful and comes across very lyrically. It communicates the self-doubt of need and love.

[Senseless whatever]

Love it. Feeling like a ghost, all alone and yet you are not. Questioning first your partner/ friend and then yourself. What value can we have for another is we can not even believe in ourselves. Great write.

[Vin]

I love the way that this is written with so much doubt, I know what it's like to feel as though you are slowly becoming invisible and can't do anything to prevent it. The powerful emotion in this piece really hit home, well done!

-Beth

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem with a good question. We need to know we are needed and wanted. I like the feel and the emotion of the poem. I like the poem that end with a question. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[not your typical girl]

ok. this was great~ but i have two suggestions regarding the flow of the poem..

1) Am I whole?

Or is part of me missing?


Some little piece I can’t find?


I'd suggest changing the ''can't'' to ''cannot'' .. sounds more fluid that way..

2)Or am I fading, slowly fading

In the warm, dark depth of the night?

I'd change the last line to...

Or am I fading, slowly fading
Into the warm, dark depth of night.

scratch out ''of the'' it sounds a little less simple i think.

its your decision in the end!
I really liked this though!
keep up the work!

[Tina Kline]

That feeling like we just aren't real and you wonder if anyone even notices you. Perhaps your only there in your dreams. You did a wonderful job capturing that awful feeling in your poem.