Shout It Out

I pretend to be strong when I'm not.  I am insecure. I don't have a lot of friends, but I want them. I love to dance. I LOVE my husband and I don't say it enough. I like dark chocolate. I'm terrified of guns. I love being taken care of.  I'm afraid I'm not good enough. I like to meet new people.  I'm shy. I love the color red.  My spiritual mother means more to me than she'll ever know, but I'm afraid to tell her because everyone I love always leaves. My 3 year old has cancer and I'm scared terrified...  I don't like the way I look. I'm afraid of what people think of me. I want to be more than I am. I miss my big brother, Craig, and wish he was still here. I try not to eat a lot. I often feel abandoned. I wish people cared about me more. I'm AFRAID to be ALONE. Prayer and writing are the only things that help anymore. I wish I was a better mom, wife, sister, daughter, and friend.  I have OVERCOME abuse, but I'm still scarred inside and out.  I love deeply. I used to cut. I am extremely sensitive. I love the friends I have very dearly. I miss my sister, Natasha, EVERY SINGLE DAY. Once you've made an impact on me, I NEVER FORGET. I wish I had a better relationship with my mom.  I can never say how I really feel, but I can write it. I NEED HELP (but I'll never tell you).  I suffer quietly and you'll never know until its too late.

Author's Note

I made this for the contest "Shout It Out"

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

First impression: Man...You certainly put in some work on this poem.

Something about this poem has my brain doing back handsprings. I can feel your pain, but for some strange reason...I saw you start out broken and looks to me as if you got stronger and stronger as the poem progressed. I just cant help but see all of the things you've survived and learned.

I started out thinking you needed comfort, but in the end I felt as if all of your unresolved issues will be dealt a crushing blow. You look like a person who has issues (just like us all)...but you are far from needing to be held up.

There is an understated strength in the words that can carry others with no problem..but, at times fatigues under its own weight.

It was a brilliant idea to use the colors. I just "got it"....but, Im not going to spoil the surprise by talking about it. :)

[SK Woodiwiss]

I don't usually approve of this form of visual - not that there is anything wrong with it - it just usually does not appeal to me. I'm suspicious by nature so I feel that with a visual work, someone is trying to hide lack of depth. My problem not yours. Anyway, this works, this works very well. I can read this as if I'm reading hundreds of prayers or reading one person's thought process during the day. Look again at the "abandoned" in black you use feel twice - I'm not sure if that is what you want.
Very well done. Thank you

[Senseless whatever]

Beautiful write. Emotion flows through this one. I like the font and color changes with the thoughts. Great job!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the complete poem. We all need someone to make us feel good and needed. I learn to pay attention to my life and help all I can. Friendship had change in this world. Rare gathering of people. I miss my Army days. All the soldiers with their wives would hang together. We need to look at our children and be content for good health and a chance to do something good. A excellent poem. Made me think.
Coyote

[deeps]

This is amazing! I like this alot. You put alot into this.
Very well written.

[Undying Glory]

wow this is excellent work, and it seems like you threw everything you had into this. i think all the different fonts are really nice and on the whole this is great

[James Watts]

I love this and I like how you it formatted. All the feelings in this...powerful emotions and thought provoking questions. You made the reader see and feel with this. When the reader can empathize with the author of a work it makes it so much more real.

[Jenny Nelson]

You did a great job. I really love this. Especially the way it's printed out; it makes an even stronger statement. Much confusion in one person, sometimes too loud, sometimes too quiet. Wonderful piece!

[Nianque]

*sigh*

You put a lot of work into this ! It tugs at the heartstrings and make me think. I love the colors and how you strikeout the part about your 3 yr old having cancer. It really emphazied how terrified you are. The colors can sorta be linked to the emotions but I'm sure that depends on the person too. You are suffering but you are strong and it comes across in this poem (and others) =]

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

Wow!! This is just fantastic! Reminded me of a ransom note. I guess it could be one, you know? Like...read me, learn me, know me....before it is too late! Just wonderful. Well done!

~True