Because Of You, I Grieve

You swept in so uninvited
Unexpected and disguised
You dug your claws into his brain
And stole his life before my eyes

You poisoned him so fast, so hard
He never even stood a chance
And now I'll never hear his laugh
Or get to see another dance

Because of you I struggle with
A loss too great for me to bear
And all that I have left of him
Are memories of times we shared

You never showed him any mercy
Just came and tore our lives apart
You stole a life before it even had
A chance to really start

I've cried more tears than I can count
Punched walls pretending they were you
I've screamed until my voice was gone
Cursed you for all that he went through

You took away a mother's son
You took away a dad's firstborn
You robbed two children of their brother
Left so many friends to mourn

And now because of what you've done
Because you came and wouldn't leave
There is a gaping hole in me
And you sit smiling as I grieve

Reviews

[Amber "Victoriomantic" ..]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't really put it into words. But if it's any consolation, this was a heartfelt write and beautifully written. I hope that it gave you some catharsis. I say this because your anger and your grief saturate this poem. What took your husband from you is blameless, and yet through poetry you've been able to personify it, and therefore direct your anger at it.

For a technical comment, your writing and your pacing are wonderful. There were points where the pacing slipped but generally your control over the pacing is inspiring. The rhymes don't feel forced either, which is often the trouble with poetry. This is a wonderful piece, both in its construction, and in the emotional subject matter. You've done a really great job.

((One small editorial problem--and I hope this isn't what you meant by 'no change comments'--in stanza 3, you're missing an O in "too great". I'd hate to see a typo detract from this in any way, as I really do think this poem is one of the best I've read in a long time, although the reason for writing it is very tragic.))

[Cattie Rain (Angela)]

Thank you so much for catching my mistake there. My brain thinks too fast for my fingers at times.

[Amber "Victoriomantic" Hart]

You're welcome, it's so easily done!

[Ama May Cooper]

I am so very sorry for your loss, and this poem speaks of the pain you must be goign through. A wonderfully return piece it touches on your sorrow with such anger, well written the words truely displaying your venom at the cruel monster that took your child away

[PhilGod]

I seriously love the emotion in this poem. the way you constructed your words to make the feelings more apparent is just amazing.

[SHAMARTRE']

God is loving and taking care of Your son. You will see, feel, laugh and dance with Him soon and very soon. God took away His pain and called Him home to live forever in HEAVEN as one of His little invisible ANGELS.......
RIGHT HERE ON EARTH?
I love this poem and how You expressed Your feelings to God.......
God Bless Your Comforter inside Cattie Rain in Everything She Say, Do, Touch and continue to allow Him to control Her thoughts and pen when She write.