Life an Dreams

my view

Life is not a dream

But a dream can be filled with life

But a dream is just a nightmare with rays of sunlight

So life must be just a nightmare on a sunny day

Author's Note

Please read this comment rate it i don't care Please help me improve my writing

Reviews

[Starr]

Nice one! Short and sweet. I like the perspective taken here. You left me thinking (in a good way) which is a great thing to do to a reader. Keep the pen up poet.

[nothing]

Hello my friend.
Now, like I said, I read it but just never reviewed it. Sorry. This is something that makes complete sense. It means something when you can be confusing, yet make complete sense at the same time. I am hoping you will add loads more to this because you have quite the knack of writing this very well. :-) Keep it up.

With Love,
Sarah. G. Whiteman.

[Penulis Kecil]

Hi Camille, welcome!

You have some interesting ideas in this poem, but it seems very disjointed, to me. I can feel that there is more behind this than what's being presented, so I'm guessing you already are writing from your heart (which is, IMO, the first step towards great poetry), so well done for that. Don't be afraid to play with the line breaks, don't be afraid to expand your thoughts and paint pictures with your words.

A valiant effort, and you definitely have potential; keep writing! The best way to improve is to practice.

[Brian]

Very good, and kinda philosophical to the point. Keep up the good work.