A letter of confession from a broken heart

Im not sure if it counts as a story more a tale of past events but here it is anyway

Funny how we build our world around one person. One person that we deem to be our one and only. Its even funnier how our one and only dosent always love us back and we spend long hours moping over some farfetched dream that was most probebly impossible from the start.

Personally i feel my feelings have not changed the smallest bit since we broke up, i love you still the same, not that i could ever really tell you or anything. Because my love falls on deaf ears that stopped listening to the calls of my heart long before you left me. Mabye they never where listning at all, because to me you seem now to have been playing a game with me,seeing how much use i could be before you simply got bored and put me in the play chest with the rest of your toys. Which i do admit you have a nice stack off, all lined up and waiting for you to simply say im single and im yours. Funny that i loved your voice, anything you said to me even when it was horrible made me feel somewhat warm inside and even now i get the same feeling. You kno being in love is something you dream about but once you've done it your realise how ridculsly over rated it actually is, not the love itself that is amazing but the after shock the pain you suffer due to it, isnt really worth it. If it lasted forever then yes it would be a willing gamble, but if its going to end it seemes a rather risque kinda thing to do. As i said my feelings for you didnt change beacuse unlike you i was in love, unlike you i wasnt filling your head with lies and false words. I actually loved you, and love , real love atleast dosent just fade over night you dont ever forget being in love and your heart never really lets go. 6 months was how long i had you , and months after it i still feel the exact same tenderness toward your being.

but when did ones love for another being ever play a part in the mental descions of our species. I kno people would contradict that statement and say but people do all sorts of things for love everyday, but do they really or do they do it merely for loves sake, the possblites of love developing. Considering to truely kno if you have been in love you must lose the person you love and then your to busy hiding behind walls of tears to really throw your life away for them.

Its rather complex really the way our hearts work, and the way we become infactued with others without on alot of occasions really knowing the person at all, ive never understood that process and never really had good reason to think about it until my heart became infactued with an indavidual of which i have now lost. We are good friends but of course the heart wants what it wants and cannot be merey satisfied by idle friendship.

So to put it abruptly we waste our time chasing dreams, and while there is the someone out there for everyone, that does not guarentee the someone for you will be someone who you become fond of or even like in the smallest sense of the word. Where as day by day relationships are formed and break up you never truely kno which will last and which will not.

But its when you start to place the person you are, where with in your life in a permant frame that problems occur. The kinda problems that leads to lonely nights lieing in bed hugging some item of clothing belonging to the person that did indeed break your heart. I mean it starts of innocent enough, you fall in love and you belive your other half when they reply that they love you too, and you begin to imagine future images of you locked in there arms with children and jobs and what not. Its all a little game at that point..i love you more, no i love you more. But the game soon becomes something that your pretty certain of to be true.. and the real funny thing about it is you never kno the answer until its over , until one of the people admits they dont love you more and dumps you. So a game where the only way to win is to suffer emotional shots to the heart... a game that anyone in there right mind wudent play. Ah but love does weird things to the mind.. makes you quite and giggly around that person that gives you butterflies, or gives you the right to pick on that little girl with the beautiful face.

I kno you have someone else now, but i mean that never stopped you when you was with me did it , not really you sorta had the next one lined up before we broke i feel just  beause of the way it happend. But anyway i hold no grude agasint her she is a nice girl and i only hope she makes you happy but if she hurt you oh dear id have to hurt her quite badly.Funny yet again that we threaten to hurt anyone that gets in the way of our love for another but we bestow so much protection upon those which we love that if anyone dared lay a finger upon them we launch at them with a timed attack to leave them standing. You never did that for me, mabye because i never let you, infact thats exactly why i never let you beause i didnt want you hurt you never understood that. Told me you wanted to protect me , but don tyou see to let you protect me wud be me risking you get hurt and my love for you would nto allow it.

I hope your happy i really do... beause if you are then i can be happy. I can be really i mean love as it is intreging to say the least but while you are happy and pleased a settle easy that your life is what you wanted.

In conclusion a game best steered away from.. love i mean. Unless you happen to have a psychic ablity to pre read the signs of when they dont love you back, but even then once you've fallen in love wud it do you any benefit at all to kno that they didnt love you or would the unexpected shock of those words... we need to talk, i just cant do this anymore, its over, your dumped, im sorry but i dont love you.. be a much better option.

So yes... your right i would be lieing to myself to say i dont still have feelings for you. But i think i prefer playing it safe by never telling you because your intentions are ones i cant really be sure of. Ones i cant fully judge or understand. But yes.. you will never kno my sweet lost love, how much i really cared for you nor how much i still do.  But its plain to everyone else who knows me properly that your in my heart forever..and that when i said i loved you i meant it.

Author's Note

...not sure if its a story oraletter or what not but give feedback

Reviews

[Akina]

I really liked this writing. It's so true! I bet that almost everybody have bine in that situation that one loves the other but the other dont love back, and it's very emotional and I can see that you still have feelings for this guy, but you got tot get over him, even if you say that you will always love him, I'm sure that you'll find someone ells :) a nice guy once telled me, "one door closes, and one door opens" great words, think of that ;)
great written, and thanks for sharing :)

Akina

[Pikachu]

The feelins express your love for this person is shown clearly> and the sadness is shown as well. It a great letter/speech is a good one.