Storm

Storm

A Story by Carol Cashes
"

A personal perspective of what unchecked and unmedicated mental illness can feel like

"

Storm

 

She resisted the instinctual urge to put her hands over her ears; knew the sound was from within, generated by the storm in her mind.

 

This roaring wind will destroy her, sink her.  Her defenses:  intelligence and intuition, reason and experience were nearly finished, extinguished; only instinct remained.   No time for repairs or prayers, no resources, no refuge.

 

She looked around the room, cocked her head slightly as she watched all the mouths opening, closing. There should be noises, sounds with their movements but the din of the approaching storm drowned out all but her own thoughts.

 

Someone touched her arm; startled, she turned to gauge the danger from this, another threat.  Mouth opening, closing,  much too close, and she sensed the noises she couldn’t hear were directed at her.  Instinct, some remembered protocol, prompted her to nod and smile before turning away.  She moved toward the only exit in the crowded room; this room filled with mouths making sounds, noises she could not hear.

 

Every mouth in the path to freedom turned in her direction, opening, closing, slowing her race to safety;  she would surely be swallowed up.

 

She felt a mouth that found its way clear to press against her face, rapid movements stirring the air and filling her ear with a soft warmth.  She sensed urgency, importance,  but heard only the increasing roar of her mind-storm.

 

She struggled, panicked,  pushed hard against the last remaining mouths, straining to reach the exit before the storm overtook her, delivered the fatal blow, swallowed her whole.  Oh, God, she wasn’t going to make it.  She would be lost, drowned " not fair!  Not fair!

 

“NOT FAIR!!”  Startled, she realized that she had pushed this sound from within herself to the outside.  She stopped;  watched as mouth after mouth ceased movement, the air in the room stilled and she knew they were silent. 

 

She now knew what she had to do, her only chance.  She silently begged their forgiveness.

 

Opening her mouth wide, she forced the mind-storm from her brain to her mouth, pushed, allowed it to escape.  Eyes closed, she released the pent-up fury,  the frustrated rage, the crippling hurt and sorrow.  The storm poured out her mouth into the room, an endless roar of her.

 

She slowly opened her eyes, drained, completely purged of the near-fatal force and for a moment, could not interpret for her weak, but already healing brain what her eyes beheld.

 

No mouths moved, nor the bodies they were attached to, nor the pieces of bodies strewn throughout the room like a child’s jigsaw puzzle dumped on the table and waiting to be reassembled.   She heard her own panting breath, nothing more.


© 2017 Carol Cashes



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Reviews

I really liked this piece! It is indeed a bit similar to my story and I found this to be very inspiring. Very captivating writing. Thanks for pointing this out to me, I'm excited to read more of your uploaded pieces.

Posted 1 Month Ago


Carol Cashes

1 Month Ago

I'm glad you liked it. Your mention of "puzzle pieces" made me think of it and between us we have s.. read more
Very interesting & amazing way of showing this! I get the sensations of being closed off from everyone else in the room, as if in a glass compartment. Many creative expressions to show vividly how this might feel. It wasn't as raw & intense as I might've drawn such a portrait, but I like your style & it gives me ideas about doing things differently. Understated can often be more impactful than dramatic, huh? *smile* (((HUGS)))

Posted 2 Months Ago


barleygirl

2 Months Ago

We all have our various brushes with insanity, so that's why this is relatable . . .
Carol Cashes

2 Months Ago

Indeed, it's why I took up Creative Cussin', in my car with the windows up, which was working fine u.. read more
barleygirl

2 Months Ago

You're creatively hilarious! *smile*
Tragedy brilliantly portrayed.
Stunning poetry!

Posted 3 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

3 Months Ago

Thank you so much for reading this. It was a "pouring out" of the way I've felt before my give-a-da.. read more
I find this griping, frightening and fully realistic. (Not that I've ever experienced anything this bad myself) Whether it's a squirrel you've run over or mental issues, getting it out and talking about it has to help.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

3 Months Ago

It is very frightening to experience what many professionals have defined as an "anxiety attack". T.. read more
Samuel Dickens

3 Months Ago

I believe I had a panic attack once, about 1980. As if someone else had seized control of my brain, .. read more
Carol Cashes

3 Months Ago

*laughing* Yup. Now imagine that lasting more than five minutes and happening without warning more.. read more
"An endless roar of her"-stellar! Beautifully written account of the invisible prison of mental illness. Hallucinations, delusions, distortions-"the mouths"-that are the chains binding the protagonist. Amazing, frightening imagery. Unbearable suffering and stigma. We hope she gets the help she needs, and the mouths are silenced forever...

Posted 3 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

3 Months Ago

You are such a sweet (and I NEVER use that word lightly) soul. If your avatar is your pic, it even .. read more
Annette Pisano Higley

3 Months Ago

Ha! You are Sweet (!) & so genuine & funny! Thanks for the touching words! Yup- picture is of my dog.. read more
Carol Cashes

3 Months Ago

My guardian angel sits on the edge of my bed, smoking, and when I wake up, she just sighs...and says.. read more
This truly is powerful and reminds me of the few times I suffered panic attack, without knowing and a few after I understood my condition, but of course, many thought I was being childish or selfish...Yet I never let that deter me.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Maria

4 Months Ago

Hahaha yeah you know you are right whatever works best, is good to do.
Carol Cashes

4 Months Ago

Yeah, screaming creative obscenities to other drivers who can't hear me or result in any repercussio.. read more
Maria

4 Months Ago

That is a good one, I might use it in the future.

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Added on June 8, 2017
Last Updated on June 8, 2017

Author

Carol Cashes
Carol Cashes

Biloxi, MS



About
I'm very cynical, jaded, just this side of bitter and the only reason I haven't crossed that line is a good man loves me. I am extremely empathetic, but seldom sympathetic. I can be a ferociously lo.. more..

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