Iron Justice

Iron Justice

A Poem by Carol Cashes
"

My very first poem! Got brave, had to try. Not very esoteric, but neither was the situation.

"

Iron Justice

 

What curse was laid on my DNA

That I should be so small

Would that it was you on the floor

Lookin’ up at me so tall

 

I have simmered and I have fumed

Every day since then

Wishin’ I could change the past

And the fist fight I could win.

 

But know this  all ye fighters

That I am now prepared

The Equalizer, Smith & Wesson

And I have now been paired.

 

Bring your twisted justice

And don’t be so surprised

When me and Smith & Wesson

Make your nightmare realized.

 

I have grown in heart these years

I have grown more wise.

But if you mistake that heart for meek

You’re in for a big surprise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


© 2017 Carol Cashes



Author's Note

Carol Cashes
Never wrote a poem outside of English class in high school. I'll get better, I promise. Can't compete with the poetry talent on this site, so consider this Poem 101.

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Reviews

Your acknowledgement of your growth reminds me of myself; I like that a lot! Your passion to regain justice instead of slinking away, as some do, is admirable. I'm glad you feel stronger than you did before and are ready to take on anything.

Posted 2 Months Ago


I like it, Carol. Its gritty and has rhythm. Can you take someone's head clean off?

Posted 4 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

4 Months Ago

Only the next m**********r who puts his hands on me! Never again. The worst part is I actually am .. read more
mattavelli

4 Months Ago

People are crazy. Don't make a mess. Haha
Carol Cashes

4 Months Ago

I was a bartender in six states for a lot of years - I know crazy. I also watch the Investigation D.. read more
For your first poem, this was magnificent.

~Luna

Posted 5 Months Ago


Brittany Zedalis

5 Months Ago

She's almost 9 months old now, so it's gotten easier, haha. There was a time when she was first born.. read more
Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

37 hours! Da-yum! I got lucky - my son was an eat-n-sleep kinda baby. But he made sure I had slee.. read more
Brittany Zedalis

5 Months Ago

Oh geez. Mine is getting her first tooth right now, so we are back to the sleepless nights temporari.. read more
Fannntastic, Carol!
Ya got it goin' good, Gal, with great flow, imagery, emotional pull, a strong and determined story and moral to your message, and you've done it all in your very first poetic effort.
I know poets who have written for a long time who could not match this … you really have what it takes. : )

I love it … keep on packin!
Maintain your piece in clean order, and it won't let you down in a time of need! ⁓ Richard


Here are a few things to consider, learn from, and revise to make this fine poem really sing:
L1, make it "laid" on my DNA
V3L4, make it "And I have now been paired." to improve flow and rhyme properly with L2.
V4L4, consider, "Make" your nightmare realized.

Posted 5 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

4 Months Ago

How did I miss this? I obviously read it, I made all the changes you suggested, but forgot to respo.. read more
Richard

4 Months Ago

Many everywhere I've ever been know this about me,… but, they're only guessing! 😉
I love.. read more
Carol Cashes,
Now this was a kick! You have dived into your own wanderings and convinced the reality of power to be given a material presence. This was really fun and I must say very creative and light hearted for something which could be taken pretty seriously.
You say this is a first poem? I say, Impressive!
Blessings to you,
Kathy


Posted 5 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

"Kick" I'm laughing as I draw the line between that word and the "kick" a large gun might have...read more
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Gee
"IIIIIIIIIIIII've, just blown in from the windy city, the windy city is mighty pretty, but, ain't got what......."
Put that gun away Calam.
Ain't no competition on here Carol, well, perhaps some see it that way. Just nice to post and have a few reads and comments, be them good, bad or indifferent.



Posted 5 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

You're right, it's not a competition and that was the wrong word to use for the author's note. What.. read more
Gee

5 Months Ago

Manners maketh man, or so they say. Nothing worse than the comments proclaiming the piffle you have .. read more
Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

Laughing. I know exactly what you mean. I can take a hit when it's due, and will defend if it's no.. read more
And let me, if I may, be your Poetry 101 editor:

-"What curse was LAIN"
-"And the fist fightS I could win" (more power in the plural, especially since you say "fighters" in the following stanza)
-"MAKE your nightmare(S) realized" (not "bring", and the pluralization of "nightmare" is optional).

Other than that, this reads very well. I'm not sure what Stanza 3 is supposed to be mean (when there's an implication of 3 or 4 entities, and yet you say "pair"), but this is a fun piece, and very motivational for everyone who should find this relatable.....Not bad for a first poem. Well done!

Posted 5 Months Ago


This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

I had to laugh..."potential" is the word a young teacher in her first year might say to the parents .. read more
emipoemi

5 Months Ago

You're welcome.....glad I could be of some service (and amusement)
Not bad at all for 101. I would have thought it would have been written in a creative writing class. Chris said it well down below. Don't ever get down on yourself. If this is your first time wading in the stream of poetry, you found a good spot to do it. Keep writing.

Posted 5 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

Thanks for reading and I will keep trying my hand at poetry. I think I'm a much better story teller.. read more
Michael G.

5 Months Ago

Good for you. Stay dry.
I have said it before, the ability to lay out a structured story/statement in poetic form... A talent indeed, one that I applaud... You have wonderful metaphors and raw word-choice... An equalizer of metal and steel, indeed... Well penned...

Posted 6 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

Many thanks for reading this, poet, and I appreciate the kind words.
You've convinced me, Carol.
Gonna give you a wide berth.
Plainly stated declaration, poetess!


Posted 6 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

"Plainly stated" is what I do all day...every day, much to some people's chagrin. I was surprised I.. read more

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Added on June 13, 2017
Last Updated on July 8, 2017
Tags: poem, anger

Author

Carol Cashes
Carol Cashes

Biloxi, MS



About
I'm very cynical, jaded, just this side of bitter and the only reason I haven't crossed that line is a good man loves me. I am extremely empathetic, but seldom sympathetic. I can be a ferociously lo.. more..

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